Fantasy League Metaphysics

I am still working on the defense ratings update, so I skipped my usual commentary yesterday.  Let’s see what the last two days can teach us.

EFL
Team	Wins	Losses	Pct.	GB	RS	RA
Old Detroit Wolverines	30	16	.648	—	241.9	177.8
Haviland Dragons	29	18	.612	1.5	218.6	174.4
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	24	21	.543	4.9	214.6	196.7
Cottage Cheese	25	21	.539	5	199.8	184.3
Peshastin Pears	23	22	.514	6.2	182.8	177.2
Kaline Drive	23	24	.498	6.9	200.4	202.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes	22	24	.469	8.2	195.3	207.5
Canberra Kangaroos	21	25	.456	8.8	246.9	268.3
Portland Rosebuds	18	27	.394	11.6	183.1	227.3

Old Detroit: W, 10 – 5.  .294, .417, .515; 6 ip, 3 er.  Giancarlo Stanton went through a horrendous slump for the middle of May, but in the last two days looks like he’s coming out of it: 3 for 6 with a double, a homer and three walks (.500, .667, 1.167).  The entire team earned 11 walks yesterday. Welington Castillo, supposedly resurrected by being traded to Seattle for a minor-league Yoervis Medina, went 0 for 5 yesterday to make his Mariner record 2 for 15.  Apparently he stinketh.

Haviland: W 2, L 0; 9 – 6. .238, .314, .381; 19.3 ip, 2 er.  Dragon pitchers have kept Haviland aloft the last two days, especially the combined complete-game shutout by Carlos Martinez and Trevor Rosenthal on Monday. Alex Colome would have put a serious dent in that fine pitching record last night had he not induced Welington Castillo to ground into a bases-loaded double play to end his 38-pitch first inning. (Now perhaps the undead Castillo can rest in peace, having served the purposes of a merciful God in delivering grace to Colome.) Note: Haviland is the only team in the EFL to never have trailed the Alleghenys this year. Not that I’m trying to jinx them or anything.

Pittsburgh: W 0, L 2; 7 – 15. .253, .289, .418; 12.3 ip, 12 er. Wow. The Alleghenys looked so inevitable three days ago.  But incorporating Archie Bradley’s May stats blunted their advance, and Bradley compounded the problem with a 3.7 ip, 6 er performance last night. Last night Xavier Cedeno got an out against the Mariners without surrendering a run, only to be followed by Jake McGee who also got an out but spat up 3 earned runs on Kyle Seager’s should-have-been-game-winning homer.  Perhaps God does enjoy toying with us — or at least, with the Alleghenys. (Seager’s blast put the M’s up three runs, but Fernando Rodney gave them all back while blowing the save. So Seager had to hit another homer to win the game in the 10th. How Rodney clings to his closer role in Seattle while sporting a 6.98 ERA is a mystery.)

Cottage: W 2, L 0; 5 – 2. .262, .300, .477; 33.3 ip, 8 er.  How is Kris Bryant working out?  The last two days he went .429, .500, .1.286. So that looks ok, I guess — almost Stantonesque. Bryant for the month of May, however, is nowhere near Stantonesque.  Bryant: .264, .367, .527.  Stanton: .196, .294, .446.

(Vocabulary words for the day: 

A. Statuesque: attractively tall and dignified, striking, noble, majestic.

B. Stantonesque:  1.  tall, dignified, striking, noble, majestic and looks very good in a lineup.  2.  reminiscent of Giancarlo Stanton.)

 

The two worst-performing Cheese-flavored pitchers over the last two days were Eddie Butler (6 ip, 4 er) and Corey “Evel” Knebel (1 ip, 1 er).  Their respective allocations? 0% and 33%.  Thus Dave burnishes his “manager of the year” credentials.

Peshastin: W 2, L 0; 10 – 2. .319. .356, .478; 19.7 ip, 4 er.  So how’s the Danny Salazar – Trevor Bauer grudge match going? Remember, after Salazar was a bad boy during the off season, the Wolverines sent him to his room, i.e.,  banished him to Peshastin in exchange for Trevor Bauer. (Jackie Bradley also came to Old Detroit in the deal, but he’s been entirely valueless so far so we can ignore him.) So the test here is whether it is better to hold a person accountable for his actions, or to show mercy. So far this season:

Salazar:  49.3 ip, 20 er, 3.65 ERA, 3.54 FIP. 2.61 xFIP

Bauer:  56.2 ip, 19 er, 3.02 ERA, 3.33 FIP, 4.00 xFIP

Salazar has pitched as well as, or better than, Bauer.  But Bauer has the better results.  We’ll keep you posted on this little experiment in baseball metaphysics.

Kaline: W 1, L 1; 8 – 6.  .263, .345, .421; 4 ip, 0 er.  Speaking of baseball metaphysics, God has heard the prayers of his faithful servant and sent a shower of relief innings Kaline’s way. Good relief innings, too.  Nori Aoki, leading off the Drive roster, went 4 for 4 Monday and 3 for 5 Tuesday for a sweet,  Stantonesque .778, .800, 1.111 batting line. The rest of the team didn’t follow suit.

Flint Hill: W, 0 – (-3).   .225, .250, .275; 23 ip, 5 er.  Jesse Hahn, kidnapped in the off season and still being held captive, tried to placate his stormy captors with a 9 inning, 4 hit shutout.  Wandy Rodriguez, looking forward to his release from Kansas at the end of the month, carved some mildly dirty words into his jail cell wall with his 5.3 ip, 3 er performance.  Joc Pederson put together a .556 .556, .667  batting line to lift the overall Tornado output to a perfectly stairstepped .225, .250, .275 line.  Something is suspect in those numbers, the mark of a supervening intelligence, if you ask me. Since when have Tornados left behind anything so orderly?

Canberra:  W 1, L 1; 8 – 12. .211, .273, .535; 10.3 ip, 5 er.  Why don’t we check in on the ‘Roos three first round picks? Surely by now they are carrying their team forward into a bright future, sorta like the Cubs, right?

Jose Abreu:   last two days:  1 for 8 with a hr: .125, .125, 500. May: .258, .333, .382.  Season: .274, .339, .476.

Daniel Norris: Last two days: nada. May: zilch. Season: 23.3 ip, 10 er, 3.86 ERA

Shane Greene:  last two days: 5.7 ip, 4 er, 6.35 ERA.  May: 27.7 ip, 12 er, 3.90 ERA.  Season: 59 ip, 28 er, 4.27 ERA.

Nothing there particularly Stantonesque.  But they still offer hope for the future.

 

Portland: W 0, L 2; 0 – 15. .190, .216, .214; 1.7 ip, 7 er.  The other day the Rosebuds tried to activate Joe Kelly to replace the injured Kyle Lobstein (I think it was).  Lobstein is a starter, Kelly was already allocated part-time as a reliever. I had to deny the request.

Earlier this month the Rosebuds had already allocated Kelly 51% of the time at reliever while replacing another injured player.

Joe Kelly’s line yesterday: 1.7 ip, 7 er. That’s a nasty quadruple chulk.  Had I allowed Kelly’s second activation to occur, the Rosebuds would have had to eat 75% of that putrid dish, instead of just the 51% they had to eat due to their earlier move.

Isn’t God’s mercy wonderful? God foresaw the Rosebuds’ attempt to do something against the rules, has been disciplining them for it in advance all month, and had a worse punishment already in store in case they succeeded in their attempt.  But God, out of love for the Rosebuds, also providentially instituted a government for the league, including a Commissioner whose enforcement of the rules was (like all good government) actually a sign of God’s compassion, rescuing the Rosebuds from some of the consequences of their fallen actions.