Taking out the trash

In an email discussion about the good old days of Faculty Retreat, I mentioned that this league was one of the ways in which I connected to faculty in other departments on campus.  Someone I don’t know — a new guy — said he’d enjoy trash talking in a fantasy baseball league, too.

“Too?”  I didn’t say anything about trash talking.  That’s certainly NOT what our league is about. Why, we are always kind and generous to each other.  Teams lower in the standings always show due respect for their betters, and are met in return with kindly solicitude and helpful advice. We cheer each other’s successes and sorrow over each other’s injuries and brain glitches, even when they happen to their players.

 

 

 

Old Detroit:  W (-1), L 2; 4 – 12.  .278, .316, .333;  3 ip, 7 er.  Arrgggh.  Trevor Bauer did what he’s always done once in a while: chulked.  3 ip, 7 er. With the Woeverines’ weak hitting lately, there’s no way to keep our currently exalted position in the standings unless things turn around quickly.  Hmmm. Edgar is already taken as a hitting coach. Maybe I should change pitching coaches.  I wonder what Jamie Moyer is doing these days.

Haviland: L, 3 – 4.  .250, .267, .357;  3 ip, 1 er.  We in Old Detroit sure do appreciate the restraint shown so far by the Dragons, who have not yet pounced on us in our weakened condition. We notice they are creeping closer — how could they not?  We don’t hold that against them — the way the W’s are playing you can make big gains in the standings just by standing still.  But do we entirely trust the Dragons to not devour us if we keep tempting them?  Of course not.

Cottage: DNP, 2 – 1.  .400, .500, 1.100 (in only 12 PA, too bad); 6 ip, 3 er.   Hey, Dave, that Stilton cheese you offered was like all the other Cheeses you offer us: moldy. Here’s what I call a good Cheese: .667, .750, 2.667. (Yes, that was Kris Bryant’s line yesterday.) Let’s see:

Bryant in June:  .289, .363, .494.  That’s pretty good!

Machado in June: .378, .427, .634.  So I guess I don’t need a new third baseman yet.

Peshastin: “W”, 2 – 4.  .000, .125, .000 (in only 8 PA, whew!); 0 ip, 0 er.   Phil meant it when he said yesterday he was leaving on vacation.  He took pretty much his whole team with him, except a couple of Mariners and Yasmani Grandal who hit like one last night.

Flint Hill:  W, 6 – 4.  .227, .292, .409;  0.7 ip, 1 er. Adam the Liberatore liberated some batter’s inner slugger and coughed up a homer.  Kevin Keiermaier made up for that with 3 hits.

Pittsburgh:  L, 2- 4. .150, .190, .200; 2 ip, 0 er.  I just enjoyed a pleasant little chat with the Top Allegheny. He asked me how things were going, and I mentioned the rough patch the Wolverines are in, especially after Bauer’s chulk. He began whining about how the A’s rough patch had been going on for several weeks now.  What is wrong with him? He asked me how I was doing and then told me how he was doing.  Unbidden. As if the puny worries of a sixth-place team should somehow intrude on the weighty concerns of the league leader. (Ok, I see now that his Mike Trout went 0 for 3 with 3 strike outs.  I can see how that could put someone out of sorts.)

Kaline:  W, 4 – 4.  .188, .222, .438;  6.7 ip, 2 er.  Decent offense was hard to come by for the entire league, it appears. Three Drive Mariners combined to go 0 for 9.  The entire Drive offense yesterday was Yoenis Cespedes’ 3 for 3 with a homer, a double, and a HBP.   Good old Tommy Milone kept the Drive in the game.

Portland: L, 8 – 8.  .471, .500, .824 (in only 18 PA);  0 ip, 0 er.  Maikel Franco led the way with 4 for 5 including two homers. Then the replacement pitchers (or someone) led them right back to where they’d started.  I just realized that the Rosebuds have two Phillies in Franco and Cody Asche.  This explains a lot.