League Updates

“Purse Pecked Tiff?” “Knoweth Hang Queue. Aisle Beef High In.”

It’s good to be reminded sometimes that reality and perception are not the same, that how things look depends as much on our perspective as it does on objective fact.

EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Haviland Dragons 63 35 .646 486.4 360.8
Old Detroit Wolverines 61 36 .633 1.4 483.2 365.6
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 56 41 .578 6.7 456.8 390.7
Peshastin Pears 56 44 .555 8.8 431.5 385.2
Cottage Cheese 54 44 .553 9.1 416.3 370.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes 52 45 .535 10.9 457.7 426.9
Kaline Drive 44 54 .448 19.4 379.7 423.2
Canberra Kangaroos 42 55 .428 21.3 492.6 568.2
Portland Rosebuds 38 62 .382 26.1 394.8 509.6

 

 

Haviland: W 1, L 1; 9 – 8.  .232, .300, .317;  16.7 ip. 6 er.  John Johnson led the singing at NFC yesterday, and I’m sorry to report he botched it.  As he admitted to the entire congregation, the theme for the day was God’s justice, but the closest he could get was “Just a Closer Walk With Thee.”  (He tried to lead us in “Justice I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me” but the congregation groaned so loudly he had to give it up.) The other songs we sang were “Draw Me Close”, “I Adore” and “Great is Thy Faithfulness.”   None of which have anything to do with justice. They’re all songs of thanks and appreciation and warm feelings of love… But when you look at the standings and see that the Dragons have the best July record in the EFL (13- 5), giving them their largest lead in the EFL since at least May 9, everything comes into focus. In Haviland,  “justice” means “God miraculously boosting the Dragons while smiting everyone else a good one” so of course to John right now songs of praise and gratitude are songs about justice.

Old Detroit:  W 0, L 2; 5 – 10.  .211, .231, .342; 25.3 ip, 13 er.  We are struggling to retain perspective in Old Detroit, that’s for sure.   Hasn’t Anthony Rizzo gone 0 for most of the month? (Actually: 16 for 74, a dismal .216, .255, .284.)   Has Matt Moore ever allowed fewer than the 5 er he coughed up yesterday (in 5 innings)? (Answer:  Yesterday was the first time he’d given up that many this year. He’s only given up 20 er in his 5 starts, covering 23 ip. So, yeah Woeverines, he’s been terrible every time out.)  It feels like the Woeverines have gone maybe 6 – 14 this month, with a parade of horrible days. (Actual record: 11 – 9.) (Really?) (Yes, really, fourth best in the EFL.  Five teams have done worse. So quit your whining, ya big baby.)

Pittsburgh:  W 3, L (-1); 12 – (-8).  .247, .310, .558;  26.3 ip, 1 er.  Yikes.  I’d hate to be Shelby Miller right now.  He pitched the lousiest 7.3 innings the Alleghenys got in the last two days, being shelled for two hits and an entire earned run.  It’s not like the other pitchers didn’t struggle.  Rubby De La Rosa had six baserunners in 8 innings, and was lucky not to give up an earned run.  And Cole Hamels? He wobbled through his complete game no-hitter, striking out only 13 and handing out walks like they were Halloween candy (2 of them!).  So poor Shelby’s earned run stands out like a mustard stain on a black shirt. He’s probably going to have to flee in the dead of night to take refuge with whichever EFL team is closest to Pittsburgh — which would be Old Detroit, of course, where he’d be the staff ace…

Peshastin:  W 2, L 0; 9 – 5.  .278, .318, .464;  22 ip, 6 er.  The Pears should be happy — they’re coming into their season now, and it shows with these two wins without a loss. But no Pears threw no-hitters. They didn’t even manage shutouts. And Michael Taylor’s 2 homers in a 5 for 9 stretch at the plate?  Mere dropped fruit compared to Michael Trout’s 2 homers and a double and a walk and a stolen base in a simultaneous 6 for 9 stretch. Bitter Pears are always a tragedy, but bitterness out of envy is doubly so.

Cottage: W 1, L 1; 8 – 9.  .261, .321, .377;  19.3 ip, 13 er.  The Cheese used to be right in there with the Alleghenys and the Pears.  Now they’re only sort of hanging on with the Pears, and there’s a Tornado coming up from behind.  At a time like this Kendall Graveman chooses to toss a triple chulk (1.3 ip, 4 er)?  What was he thinking?  And Yasiel Puig? The supposed superstar? He went a pathetic 0 for 5, striking out 4 times, bringing his July line down to a dismal Rizzonic .187, .235, .347.  Why can’t these players pay better attention to the needs of their team in this time of crisis?

Flint Hill: W 2, L 0; 12 -1.  .280, .337, .451;  15.7 ip, 1 er.  I have been saying this for several days now, but I’ll say it again: the key to understanding Flint Hill is to see them for that they are: little junior Allegheny wannabees.  If Pittsburgh goes 26 innings while giving up 1 run, the Tornados will try their best to follow suit — even if they fall a few innings short. If the A’s crank out an .868 team OPS, the T’s will follow as close as any T-Ball team can: .788, second-best in the EFL.  And if Pittsburgh gets 3 wins in two days, Flint Hill will do its best to keep up and get two wins, second best in the league.  Maybe the W’s should see if they can join Flint Hill’s Allegheny fan club.

Kaline:  W (-1), L 3; 6 – 22. .226, .253, .369;   17.7 ip, 19 er.  They say the universe bends toward justice, although you wouldn’t know it from the songs we sang in church yesterday.  But perhaps Kaline can take solace in knowing that it’s terrible, no good, very bad weekend was necessary as balance in the scales of justice for Pittsburgh’s surge.  So you Kaline fans, be comforted: your suffering is not in vain because it made Pittsburgh’s triumph possible — unless you’re one of those who do not consider Allegheny resurgence a good thing, in which case the weekend was a double downer. (If so, welcome to the club.)  (Or, maybe… maybe the Drive’s collapse is not linked to the Alleghenys. Maybe it’s just part of the karmic payback for getting to go to a game in Fenway.  Aha! The universe does bend toward justice!)

Canberra:  W 1, L 1; 6 – 12.  .254, .301, .358;  12.7 ip, 8 er.  Why aren’t the Kangaroos out there beating the bush for remedies for that balky pitching?  Another crummy performance by Shane Greene (4.3 ip, 5 er) and Taijuan Walker (6 ip, 3 er) was rescued  from the same thing only because Ezequiel Carrera fell off third base and got tagged out for a 3 – 6 – 2 – 2 triple play.  What? A bar exam?  Sheesh, man, of all the lame excuses…

Portland:  W 1, L 1; 6 – 7.  .227, .284, .347;  14.3 ip, 4 er.  In the Rosebud’s world, a .500 stretch of play looks a lot better than it would to, say, a Dragon. Danny Duffy and Yordano Ventura each turning in a strong performance (2 total er in 13 ip) makes a Wandy Rodriguez bust (2 er in 1.3 ip) go down a lot easier.  Sure, the team didn’t hit but Maikel Franco had a very hopeful stretch (4 for 8 with 3 doubles a homer and 2 walks).  If that aphid infestation can be completely controlled, and the black spot can be eradicated, these Rosebuds could be something special next year.

 

 

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