League Updates Uncategorized

Of Fortunes and Honor

For your inspiration:

Founding Rules of ‘Base Ball’ Sell for $3.26 Million in Auction

“Laws,” which was written by Daniel Adams, who was known as Doc, established rules such as nine men on a side, 90-foot base paths and nine innings to a game. Adams played for the Knickerbocker Base Ball Club, where he pioneered the shortstop position, and later became its president as baseball’s popularity increased. He referred to batters as “strikers,” balks as “baulks” and runs as “aces.”

The laws were written when Adams presided over a gathering of 14 New York-area teams to revise the sport’s rules. Adams’s draft was transferred to more than a dozen separate pages in flowing script by William H. Grenelle, another Knickerbocker club official. Grenelle’s version reads like a scorecard of the convention debates, with pencil marks crossing out words and recording changes to Adams’s proposals. “Laws” was auctioned once before in 1999, by Sotheby’s, and sold for $12,650.

I am not so delusional as to think our rules are currently worth more than, say, the $12,650 these rules fetched in 1999.  But just think what they’ll be worth in 17 years!  $3.26 million won’t be then what it is now, but if we divvy up our shares equally, that’s still a cool $326,000 each!  I could see that coming in very handy about 2033.

EFL Standings for 2016
EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Haviland Dragons 14 5 .754 100.7 57.5
Canberra Kangaroos 12 6 .660 1.9 94.5 67.8
Old Detroit Wolverines 11 7 .611 2.8 106.6 85.0
Portland Rosebuds 11 9 .534 4.2 87.3 81.6
Cottage Cheese 10 9 .531 4.2 72.9 68.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes 9 9 .489 5 73.3 75.0
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 10 10 .477 5.3 97.2 101.8
Kaline Drive 8 11 .399 6.7 86.5 106.1
Peshastin Pears 7 13 .370 7.4 76.5 99.9
D.C. Balk 5 13 .255 9.2 66.1 113.0
Haviland: W 1, L (-1); 1 – (-8).  (.286, .400, .486; 13.3 ip 1 er) Unfair! The Dragons already had the best pitching in baseball, giving up runs at less than half the rate of the Balk (sic).  Then Chris Archer remembered how to pitch, spinning 6.7 scoreless innings, and Kevin Gausman came back from his latest sojourn in limbo (or maybe it was purgatory, I get the two mixed up) to produce 5 ip, 1 er.
Canberra:  W 1, L (-1); 0 – (-6). (.241, .333, .414; 14.3 ip, 1 er)  Collusion!  Do they think, those airborne Dragons and Kangaroos, that we can’t see the similarities between their teams?  The parallel hitting lines?  The nearly identical pitching lines? The Porcello mimicry (6.3 ip, 0 er) of the Archer performance?  In every dimension, the Kangaroos are a slightly abridged copy of the Dragons, including their hangtime while airborne. But I am onto them.  Do you see what’s happening?  This morning I issued the following statement in regard to my opponents’ nefarious plots:

Collusion is often illegal in many other industries and yet these two EFL insiders have had to revert to collusion in order to stay alive. They are mathematically dead and this act only shows, as puppets of donors and special interests, how truly weak they and their campaigns are. I have brought millions of owners into the EFL system and have received many millions of wins more than Dragons or Kangaroos.  Additionally, I am far ahead of both teams with runs scored and would be receiving in excess of 60% of the wins except for the fact that there were so many teams running against me.

Because of me, everyone now sees that the EFL system is totally rigged. When two teams who have no path to victory get together to stop a team who is expanding the league by millions of owners, (all of whom will drop out if I am not in the race) it is yet another example of everything that is wrong in Kansas and Australia and our competitive system. This horrible act of desperation, from two franchises who have totally failed, makes me even more determined, for the good of the EFL and our country, to prevail!

Old Detroit: W, 5 – 3. (.270, .289, .514; 8 ip, 2 er.)  See? That’s a fine, honest, win, the kind people generate who aren’t up to no good.  Yan Gomes continued his good hitting of late (1 for 3 with a hr and a walk) and Madison Bumgarner and Erasmo Ramirez combined for a straightforward but not showy 8 ip, 2 er. Sure, we lost another 0.7 games in the standings, but once the Wolverines get warmed up, watch out!
Portland:  “W”, 1 – 4. (.182, .250, .273; 0 ip, 0 er). See? This is what collusion at the “top” does to the league.  People get discouraged. Their hitters wave weakly at passing pitches.  Their pitchers can’t even drag themselves to the mound.  A fine young team, should be enjoying the prime of its youth, should be rising to its true potential of third or even second place… such a sad waste.
Cottage:  DNP, 1 – 3. (.286, .333, .476;  12.7 ip, 6 er) Ok, I’m calming down now. Nathan Eovaldi toyed with a no-hitter until he learned about how our “frontrunners” are rigging the system.  Then he said, “why bother” gave up a couple of hits, and trudged off the mound. Still, that 7 shutout innings helped the Cheese catch the Rosebuds.  Nowadays we call someone like Eovaldi an “ace” because he can lead a pitching staff. But originally an “ace” was just the opposite — a run, a mar on a pitcher’s record. Funny how things can sometimes go all backward from what you originally expect. 
Flint Hill: “W”, 6 – 7.  (.273, .360, .500; 10.3 ip, 6 er). Led by Leonys Matin’s homer and walk in three trips to the plate, the Tornados nearly broke even despite some lackluster pitching. This is an impressive accomplishment, considering how the Dragons have been working the smoke-filled rooms trying to lock up all the good pitching in Kansas.
Pittsburgh:  “W”, 5 – 6. (.270, .325, .432; 0.3 ip, 0 er).  Yesterday the Allegheny front office ripped into Pedro Alvarez, tweeting his poor batting stats for all to see. Alvarez wasted no time before answering his critic, going 2 for 3 with 2 double to lead the Allegheny offense.  Mike Trout also had a good day (a homer and a walk in 4 plate appearances) to boost his season line into Edgar Martinez territory for the first time all season: .300, .405, .529.  That puts his season within one point of Edgar’s career OPS, which I happen to know by heart (.933).
Kaline: DNP, 2 – 1. (.407, .407, .593 — Happy Edgar Martinez Day! 12.3 ip, 7 er).  Wow! How about that? I just mentioned Edgar and the next team pulls an EM Day.  I promise I had no idea that would happen. Michael Saunders gets the bulk of the credit: 3 for 5 with a homer.   The effect was muted because the Drive didn’t play yesterday, but it will reverberate into tomorrow’s result.
Peshastin:  W (-1), L 2; 1 – 7. (.241, .303, .241;  9.7 ip, 6 er).  If any team has a right to be disappointed with its April, it has to be the Pears. They were predicted to be on the edges of the EFL pennant race, but no one thought it was going to be maybe the very bottom edge of the standings!  Raisel Iglesias and Danny Salazar are emblematic here:  5 innings and 4.7 innings, respectively, each allowing 3 aces. And that probably feels appropriate in Peshastin — calling runs “aces” — because it’s a sharper, more cutting word befitting the Pares’ current painful state.
D.C.:  W, 2 – (-4).  (.333, .333, .381;  3 ip, 0 er).  Two wins in a row! 3 out of the last 4!  The Balk (sic) are the hottest team in the EFL not already in first or second place!  They’ve passed the Braves in their own division, with their sights trained firmly on the Marlins — although they’ll pick off the Pears first, according to current trends. How can this be happening?  It’s that monster Welington Castillo, I tell you. He didn’t homer yesterday, but he did go 3 for 5 with a double. His season line now is .290, .357, .613.  That .970 OPS is the best for any catcher in baseball, and the 15th best overall. With some solid pitching (albeit all in relief) and support from fellow batsmen strikers, Castillo is powering the team from Washington, D.C. so it is no longer “last in the [National] League.”
Maybe now’s not the time to make too many radical changes, like correcting how the D.C. team spells “Baulk.”
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Baltimore Orioles 11 7 .611
Old Detroit Wolverines 11 7 .611
Boston Red Sox 10 9 .526 1.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes 9 9 .489 2.2
Toronto Blue Jays 10 11 .476 2.5
Tampa Bay Rays 9 10 .474 2.5
New York Yankees 8 10 .444 3

 

NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Washington Nationals 14 4 .778
Canberra Kangaroos 12 6 .660 2.1
New York Mets 11 7 .611 3
Philadelphia Phillies 9 10 .474 5.5
Miami Marlins 7 11 .389 7
D.C. Balk 5 13 .255 9.4
Atlanta Braves 4 15 .211 10.5
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago White Sox 14 6 .700
Kansas City Royals 12 7 .632 1.5
Cleveland Indians 9 8 .529 3.5
Detroit Tigers 9 9 .500 4
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 10 10 .477 4.5
Minnesota Twins 6 14 .300 8
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago Cubs 14 5 .737
Pittsburgh Pirates 11 9 .550 3.5
Cottage Cheese 10 9 .531 3.9
St. Louis Cardinals 10 9 .526 4
Cincinnati Reds 9 11 .450 5.5
Milwaukee Brewers 8 11 .421 6
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Haviland Dragons 14 5 .754
Seattle Mariners 10 9 .526 4.3
Texas Rangers 10 10 .500 4.8
Oakland A’s 10 10 .500 4.8
Los Angeles Angels 9 11 .450 5.8
Kaline Drive 8 11 .399 6.7
Houston Astros 6 14 .300 8.8
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Los Angeles Dodgers 12 8 .600
Portland Rosebuds 11 9 .534 1.3
Arizona Diamondbacks 11 10 .524 1.5
San Francisco Giants 10 11 .476 2.5
Colorado Rockies 9 10 .474 2.5
Peshastin Pears 7 13 .370 4.6
San Diego Padres 7 13 .350 5