League Updates

Never Diss a Dragon

This seems like it should be obvious, doesn’t it — it doesn’t do to diss a Dragon.  Even if you are only disparaging a particular Dragon, why would you want to provoke a person who can fly, breath fire, and shrug off almost any projectile imaginable?  But if you go out of your way to involve Mrs. Dragon, who herself has nothing dragonish about her but whose male relatives are all standing around looking at you menacingly… who would do such silly thing?
EFL Standings for 2016
EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Canberra Kangaroos 29 15 .656 232.8 167.4
Old Detroit Wolverines 27 15 .643 0.8 238.9 178.3
Haviland Dragons 27 16 .624 1.5 196.8 152.8
Portland Rosebuds 26 20 .557 4.2 210.6 187.0
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 25 19 .559 4.3 228.1 201.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes 23 19 .554 4.6 189.1 170.7
Peshastin Pears 22 24 .477 7.9 191.4 201.7
Kaline Drive 19 24 .445 9.2 200.9 227.9
Cottage Cheese 17 25 .395 11.3 168.3 210.2
D.C. Balk 12 32 .268 17.1 167.1 276.7
Canberra:  “W”, 2 – 3. (.175, .261, .250; 7 ip. 2 er). The ‘Roos were up by 1.0 games over the Dragons and 1.1 over the Wolverines when play opened Sunday.  Porcello and Tonkin did their jobs Sunday, but the hitters (7 for 40 with a homer and 4 walks) didn’t give them enough to work with to fashion a real win.
Old Detroit:  W, 4 – 2.  (.261, .320, .304;  18.7 ip, 7 er).  Old Detroit was 1.1 games out on Sunday morning.  They didn’t have a great day, but solid 3.38 ERA pitching can cover a lot of flaws on the offense.  Flaws like these batting lines over the last week:  3 for 22 with a double, a homer, and three walks, .136, .240, .318 — that’s Manny Machado.  Or 1 for 22 with three walks — that’s Anthony Rizzo.
Haviland: L, 4 – 9.  (.258, .361, .355; 4.3 ip, 6 er).  I happened to see the Chiefest of Calamities (the Dragons’ GM — this is a Hobbit reference) at a Cal Ripken baseball game Sunday afternoon.  I decided I’d better go stand by him because he was sitting behind home plate and might otherwise have been tempted to hassle the umpire if plays involving the red team’s catcher didn’t get called to the Chiefest’s satisfaction. (Actually, the Chiefest was on good behavior all game, especially for a Dragon, but Mrs. Chiefest had one minor slip when she didn’t quite get her tongue bitten fast enough.) (And as I’m sure you all understand, I am in no way characterizing Mrs. Chiefest as a Dragon.  We all know she was a fair maiden whom the Chiefest of Calamities decided not to eat.) (I’m not sure if I’m digging myself out of or into trouble, so I’ll just move along now.)
Anyway, the Chiefest was in a subdued mood. The red team was losing, and the Chiefest had already seen Chris Archer’s pitching line: 3 innings, 6 earned runs, a tidy chulk. Juan Uribe tried to dig his team out of its trouble (2 doubles and a walk in 3 AB), but it wasn’t enough to prevent Haviland from Havingtoland back in 3rd place.
Portland: L, 5 – 9. (.333, .333, .375; 16.3 ip, 12 er).   When you see a batting line like this one, you know the offense was almost entirely singles.  Eight singles — the Rosebuds were lucky to get within rounding range of 5 runs with that.  But their luck ran out before it could benefit the pitchers.  They didn’t pitch well  — 5.72 FIP 17 hits and 13 walks against only 11 strikeouts — but their ERA (6.61) indicates they had about a run’s worth of bad luck.
Pittsburgh:  W, 5 – 4. (.257, .333, .400; 0.3 ip, 0 er).  It was St. Nick’s Day in Pittsburgh.  Altuve was asleep (o for 4) and Trout was dogging it (only 1 for 3 with a double and a walk), so the Three Nick’s stepped up: Nick Ahmen (2 for 4 with a double); Nick Castellanos (2 for 5 with 2 doubles), and Jake MarisNick (1 for 2 with a walk and a double.)  Ooo000, that’s spooky: Jake’s last name is Maris Nick — so I suppose he combines the power of Roger Maris with the class of the Allegheny Nicks.  MarisNick bears watching.
Flint Hill: W, 9 – 5. (.381, .422, .524 — Happy EMD!; 7.3 ip, 4 er.)  By far the best game we’ve turned so for from Sunday’s EFL performances.  Good enough pitching with some very nice hitting. Leonys Martin is making Jerry Dipoto look very smart: 4 for 5 yesterday in a leadoff role, .308, .378, .508 for the last week; his season OPS up to .798 (.252, .331, .468).  I suppose if it’s making Dipoto look smart, it’s probably helping the Big Tornado’s reputation, too.
Peshastin: W, 4 – 2. (.238, .304, .429; 18.3 ip, 6 er).  Max Scherzer laid down a good foundation — 8 ip, 2 er — and the rest of the pitching staff didn’t blow it.  Anthony Rendon continued to dig himself out of his early-season slump with 2 for 4 with a double, triple, and walk to lead the Pears’ otherwise modest offense.
Kaline: W, 5 – (-1); (.265, .321, .449;  8.7 ip, 1 er).  The Drive accompanied the Pears on the standings up-escalator. Stroman pitched like an ace (7.7 ip, 1 er), Justin Turner achieved a 5.000 OPS with a pinch-hit homer, and Carlos Perez contributed a 3 for 4 day with a homer.
Cottage: “W”, 7 – 8. (.302, .380. 512; 2.3 ip, 4 er).  Thanks to infielders Todd Frazier (2 for 3 with a homer and a walk) and Jonathan Schoop  (two for three with a double), the Cheese achieved the semblance of a win even after Dylan Bundy triple-chulked (1.3 ip, 4 er) in relief.
D.C.:  L, 2 – 7.  (.167, .250, .122;  6 ip 4 er).  For most of the month, the Balk have been dancing with the Braves and Twins at the bottom of the standings — or the top of next spring’s draft order, depending on your perspective.  They stayed comfortably stuck right between their two natural rivals Sunday.  The hitting was weak, but at least it was scarce — only 19 plate appearances on a Sunday.
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Old Detroit Wolverines 27 15 .643
Baltimore Orioles 26 16 .619 1
Boston Red Sox 27 17 .614 1
Flint Hill Tornadoes 23 19 .554 3.7
Tampa Bay Rays 20 21 .488 6.5
New York Yankees 21 22 .488 6.5
Toronto Blue Jays 22 24 .478 7
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Canberra Kangaroos 29 15 .656
Washington Nationals 27 17 .614 1.8
New York Mets 25 18 .581 3.3
Philadelphia Phillies 25 19 .568 3.8
Miami Marlins 22 21 .512 6.3
Atlanta Braves 12 31 .279 16.3
D.C. Balk 12 32 .268 17.1
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago White Sox 26 18 .591
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 25 19 .559 1.4
Cleveland Indians 22 19 .537 2.5
Kansas City Royals 22 21 .512 3.5
Detroit Tigers 21 22 .488 4.5
Minnesota Twins 11 32 .256 14.5
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago Cubs 29 13 .690
Pittsburgh Pirates 23 19 .548 6
St. Louis Cardinals 23 21 .523 7
Milwaukee Brewers 18 26 .409 12
Cottage Cheese 17 25 .395 12.4
Cincinnati Reds 15 29 .341 15
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Haviland Dragons 27 16 .624
Seattle Mariners 26 17 .605 0.9
Texas Rangers 25 19 .568 2.4
Los Angeles Angels 20 24 .455 7.4
Kaline Drive 19 24 .445 7.7
Oakland A’s 19 26 .422 8.9
Houston Astros 17 28 .378 10.9
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
San Francisco Giants 27 19 .587
Portland Rosebuds 26 20 .557 1.4
Colorado Rockies 21 21 .500 4
Los Angeles Dodgers 22 23 .489 4.5
Peshastin Pears 22 24 .477 5.1
Arizona Diamondbacks 21 25 .457 6
San Diego Padres 19 26 .422 7.5