All hail…

EFL Standings for 2016

Haviland:  W, 10 – 0. (.348, .388, .652;  12.7 ip, 1 er). Fantastic. 10 to nothing. Mug the season and leave it in the ditch, why don’t you.  At least you’re putting us out of our misery quickly. All Hail the Merciful Dragons. Reminds me of the Gentle Giants. Pardon me if I sound a little Puddleglumish.

Old Detroit: W, 6 – (-1). (.282, .318, .513;  7 ip, 0 er). See, the problem is, the Wolverines felt like they were having a great day, but still lost ground to the Dragons. Rich Hill spun six scoreless innings — finally, a Wolverine pitcher who can pitch!  Manny Machado went 4 for 6 with a homer.  He’s no Trea Turner, but he’ll do in a pinch.

Portland: W 2, L (-1); 9 – 3. (.294, .353, .451; 11 ip, 3 er).  Rosebud fans can be forgiven if the grumble in frustration. Their team had a GREAT day, a double win/negative loss day.  And they lost 0.2 games in the standings to the Dragons.

Pittsburgh: W, 16 – 9. (.421, .477, .737;  14 ip, 8 er) 16 to 9 !?! The leading Allegheny hitters were such household names as Ender Inciarte (1.286 OPS), Stephen Piscotty (1.800 OPS), Tyler flowers (1.833 OPS) and — most of all — the legendary Ryan Schimpf, with a 6 to 1 consonant ratio, plus a walk, double and a triple for a 2.417 OPS. Now that the Woeverines and Nosebuds have fallen out of Tornado rocket range of the Dragons, they find they have to share a table with the Alleghenys. And act like they like it.

Peshastin:  L, 5 – 6.  (.311, .354, .400; 2.7 ip, 1 er).

These two teams seem to have lost their will to live.  The ‘Roos were lethargic at the plate, putting up sub-replacement numbers.  The Pears put up better numbers, but didn’t get full value for them in terms of runs scored.  Were they not hustling? Or were they standing around watching Trea Turner go 4 for 4  for the second day in a row?  Did they totally deflate when he led off the 9th inning with an out?

The Drive and Tornados are doing a little dance right now, trading off possession of 7th place.

Cottage: L, 3 – 7.  (.245, .296, .367; no pitching).  I got a note this morning from someone lamenting he hadn’t allocated anyone as a left-handed reliever in August. I can’t tell you who wrote the note — I am sure it was confidential, it was so emotionally raw.  (The lack of any pitching yesterday at the Cottage is entirely coincidental.) The owner in question did give me permission to cite his agony as a warning to others — he did not want his suffering to be entirely pointless.

D.C.: W 2, L (-1); 9 – (-1).  (.377, .424, .623;  8.3 ip, 3 er).  I envied the Balk’s pitching yesterday and its batting the day before. Now I envy both!  A great day — better than the Dragons! Of all the teams in the EFL, only the Balk gained on Haviland yesterday.  All hail the Balk!  Go Balk! It’s fun to have someone to root for who isn’t wallowing in despair and/or incompetence.