The Houston Astros toppled the Yankees tonight. Tornado Charlie Morton shut them out for 5 innings, thanks in very large part to Kangaroo Alex Bregman who threw out Cheese Greg Bird at the plate. Then former Wolverine Lance McCullers Jr. shut the Yankees out for the last 4 innings, finishing by retiring the last 6 batters he faced on 24 straight knuckle curves, striking out 4 of the six.
Down 2 games to 3, with 95% of the country dreading another Yankees/Dodgers World Series, the Astros saved the season from utter banality. And we get the two best teams of 2017 facing off, just as we should.
I’ve never been an Astros fan before, other than as a sort of penumbra to my fanaticism for Lance Berkman. But I am one now, for the next four to seven games.
Even if it means rooting for Jose Altuve. You know, it wasn’t his fault I traded him to the Alleghenys. I never really gave him a chance. I’ll forgive him if he forgives me. And if he helps the Astros beat the Dodgers, he can go ahead and hold his anti-Wolverine grudge. I’ll forgive him anyway.