(Editor’s Mea Culpa: I posted this Sunday afternoon, but didn’t categorize it properly. My apologies to the Kangaroos who missed seeing their surge.)
I watched part of the Angels/Yankees game yesterday, hoping to see Shohei Ohtani having a big day. It didn’t work. Ohtani went 0 for 4 with a walk being his highlight.
Why am I disappointed? It’s not reasonable to expect to see a “big” day. Unless you travel across time zones, all days are the same size by definition. Calling one day bigger than another makes as much sense as calling one inch bigger than another. Do you spend any time at the grocery store trying to determine whether A&W root beer comes in bigger ounces than Mug does?
No one ever says “I was hoping for Ohtani to have a big day, but he had a small one instead.” The opposite of “big” is probably “bad.” How does that make any sense?
If we say some days are big, and other days are just average, but no days are small, doesn’t that mean the average day is bigger than average?
EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Portland Rosebuds | 31 | 21 | .590 | — | 239.8 | 199.5 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 29 | 20 | .593 | 0.1 | 230.1 | 190.7 |
| Brookland Outs | 30 | 23 | .574 | 0.8 | 270.7 | 234.8 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 29 | 23 | .564 | 1.4 | 216.7 | 190.7 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 27 | 25 | .527 | 3.3 | 221.6 | 209.9 |
| Cottage Cheese | 26 | 27 | .497 | 4.9 | 275.5 | 275.9 |
| Kaline Drive | 26 | 27 | .487 | 5.4 | 226.5 | 232.0 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 24 | 26 | .477 | 5.8 | 263.9 | 278.7 |
| Haviland Dragons | 23 | 30 | .436 | 8.1 | 220.7 | 250.7 |
| Peshastin Pears | 22 | 30 | .425 | 8.6 | 215.4 | 252.6 |
| D.C. Balk | 20 | 29 | .417 | 8.7 | 195.3 | 231.1 |
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Portland: “W”, (-1) – 3. (.146, .205, .171; 2 ip, 0 er). Even though the Rosebuds recorded 44 plate appearances, the day somehow seems a little small. Only 2 innings is one reason, I suppose, but so is only 1 for 4 from Betts. Jacoby Jones did not take well to the news he was going to be a Pear come June 1: he went 0 for 5, for a bad day, if not a big bad day: the baddest (if not the biggest) of any Rosebud. It nearly cost them their lead!
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Canberra: W 1, L (-1); 10 – (-2). (.368, .415, .868; 6 ip, 2 er). The Kangaroos had a very very good day. It seems like a big deal when you leap two places and 1.6 games in the standings in one day. That’s impossible in MLB; maybe a fantasy league has more elastic days than pedestrian life allows? Well, maybe so — Jose Abreu busted loose with a 4 for 4 performance, including 2 doubles, a homer and a walk for a 3.250 daily OPS. Tim Anderson homered twice, and Wade Leblanc soft-tossed his way to 6 strong innings. The Kangaroos had the day we all wish our team could have had: a very big deal, even if the day was normal-sized.
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Brookland: L, 5 – 5. (.314, .368, .400; 14.7 ip, 7 er). Both offense and defense had pretty average results for the Outs. No one had a perfect day at the plate, but Jose Martinez came fairly close: 3 for 4 with a double. Reyes Moronta got through a perfect inning of relief but the rest of the pitching crew performed like competent but fallible human beings. Well, except for Bartolo Colon, who continued his age-defying weirdness: 7 ip, 3 er. I suppose a day when your return to the peak of the league is complicated by bounding Kangaroos isn’t going to feel like a big day anyway, so settling for an average day shouldn’t feel too bad…
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Old Detroit: “L”, 8 – 7. (.286, .362, .619; 5.3 ip, 5 er)… although it will be hard to convince Wolverine fans around the world that an average day yesterday isn’t a big disappointment. For the first time in AGES the W’s had an excellent day at the plate, led by Jeimer Candelario’s two homers (and homers by Kyle Schwarber and Ronald Acuna). But today Alex Wood decides to tank: 5.3 ip, 5 er. So the Wolverines gain a teensy 0.1 games in the standings and let the Kangaroos get away from them. Rats.
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Flint Hill: W (-1), L 2; 3 – 9. (. 200, .314, .267; 12 ip, 6 er). Oh, well, Wolverine fans, it could have been worse. You could have had your star-crossed star center fielder — the one the Wolverines tried several times to trade for over the last couple of years, but Tornado ownership kept turning them down flat — go up to try to steal a homer from Nelson Cruz and bonk his head on the wall and then the track. Byron Buxton is day-to-day they say, so maybe it won’t be too bad, but it’s still not part of a big day, if such a thing exists. (Nor was Sonny Gray’s 3.7 ip, 5 er clunker.)
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Cottage: L, 7 – 8. (.324, .378, .559; 5.3 ip, 4 er). If there is such a thing as a big day, Mike Trout had one. He went 5 for 5 (too bad for you, Abreu and Altuve), with a homer and three doubles. That set new personal single game records for Trout in hits and total bases. Also, it led the Angels to a victory in New York over the Yankees, something everyone can feel good about. If only Tyler Mahle had been more in the spirit of things, so he didn’t cough up 4 earned runs in his 5 innings pitched…
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Kaline: L, 2 – 11. (.179, .233, .393; 7.7 ip, 9 er). Aaron Judge put in his bid for a perfect day award: 2 for 2 with a homer and two walks. On other days that might have won, but we’ve already seen three BETTER perfect days. Yes, that’s possible, it turns out: to have a better perfect day than someone else’s perfect day. Also, Judge’s day ended up only mitigating the awful pitching of Chase Anderson (3.7 ip, 5 er) and Trevor Williams (4 ip, 4 er). At least the Drive got to watch their own Mike Zunino win a game for the M’s in the 12 innings (assuming the Wizard was still up at that hour).
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Pittsburgh: W, 13 – 9. (.349, .417, .860; 0 ip, 0 er). Jose Altuve had a perfect day: 4 for 4 with a triple and a homer. Plus he stole two bases without getting caught. Even though tens of thousands of people saw him do it live, and videos are readily available on line, he still got away with these flagrant thefts! So it was a very productive day for Altuve’s alliterative Alleghenys (Why haven’t I noticed that before? Altuve belongs on the Alleghenys, for alliterative purposes. Suddenly I’m entirely reconciled to trading him to Pittsburgh for essentially nothing: it was in the service of art.)… and it was almost a very BIG day, too, as my first attempt to update the standings included the entire season’s worth of Allegheny stats. A day that incorporates about 35 days of stats would be a big day indeed! But such days do not exist, so I had to redo the Allegheny stats and revise the standings.
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Haviland: L, 2 – 9. (.163, 280, .326; 6 ip, 4 er). Sean Newcomb only lasted three innings (3 er). I hope he’s ok. I really do. Bryce Harper went 0 for 4. I even hope he’s ok — he struck out all four times!
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Peshastin: W, 4 – 3. (.226, .314, .452; 7.3 ip, 2 er). Poor Phil watched as his James Pazos, whom he had been praising for doing such a great job, surrendered an earned run to tie the Twins with the Mariners. JT Realmuto took the news of his trade for Jacoby Jones relatively well, gifting his fellow Pears with a 3 for 4 day with two doubles to lead them to the same 4 – 3 win the Mariners eventually won.
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DC: DNP, 3 – (-1). (.324, .375, .541; 20.3 ip, 10 er). The Balk have been keeping pace with whoever is in first place (Outs, Rosebuds, whoever) for quite some time now. They gained a bit yesterday with a strong day at the plate — in which Scooter Gennett matched Mike Trout’s 5 for 5! Gennett also cranked a homer, Trout-like, but settled for four singles… Andrew Benintendi came close, too, 3 for 4 with a triple and a homer (and a HBP in the at-bat in which he was going to hit a double). And Daniel Mengden turned in the pitching gem of the day: 9 ip, 0 er, 2 hits. This is an impressive league when a performance like this leaves your team in last place.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Boston Red Sox | 36 | 16 | .692 | — |
| New York Yankees | 32 | 16 | .667 | 2 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 29 | 23 | .564 | 6.7 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 27 | 25 | .527 | 8.6 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 24 | 26 | .480 | 11 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 24 | 28 | .462 | 12 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 17 | 35 | .327 | 19 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 29 | 20 | .593 | — |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 29 | 20 | .592 | 0.1 |
| Atlanta Braves | 29 | 21 | .580 | 0.6 |
| Washington Nationals | 28 | 22 | .560 | 1.6 |
| New York Mets | 25 | 23 | .521 | 3.6 |
| D.C. Balk | 20 | 29 | .417 | 8.6 |
| Miami Marlins | 19 | 32 | .373 | 11.1 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 25 | 25 | .500 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 24 | 26 | .477 | 1.1 |
| Minnesota Twins | 21 | 26 | .447 | 2.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 22 | 29 | .431 | 3.5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 16 | 33 | .327 | 8.5 |
| Kansas City Royals | 17 | 35 | .327 | 9 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 33 | 20 | .623 | — |
| Brookland Outs | 30 | 23 | .574 | 2.6 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 27 | 22 | .551 | 4 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 28 | 23 | .549 | 4 |
| Chicago Cubs | 26 | 22 | .542 | 4.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 26 | 27 | .497 | 6.7 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 19 | 34 | .358 | 14 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 34 | 19 | .642 | — |
| Seattle Mariners | 31 | 20 | .608 | 2 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 29 | 23 | .558 | 4.5 |
| Oakland A’s | 27 | 25 | .519 | 6.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 26 | 27 | .487 | 8.2 |
| Haviland Dragons | 23 | 30 | .436 | 10.9 |
| Texas Rangers | 22 | 32 | .407 | 12.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 31 | 21 | .590 | — |
| Colorado Rockies | 27 | 25 | .519 | 3.7 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 26 | 25 | .510 | 4.2 |
| San Francisco Giants | 25 | 27 | .481 | 5.7 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 23 | 28 | .451 | 7.2 |
| Peshastin Pears | 22 | 30 | .425 | 8.6 |
| San Diego Padres | 22 | 31 | .415 | 9.2 |