I had better make a post now and celebrate the Wolverines’ near-win yesterday, because a near-win is not in the cards for this evening. My prize pitching prospect, Josh James, is as I write this going up in flames in Minnesota. He got an out, surrendered a double and a walk, got Byron Buxton out — and then has given up three singles in a row for a nice 4 runs in one inning. Thus he covered the position, apparently mandatory on my team, of torch man occupied by Shawn Armstrong Sunday night (1 ip, 2 er).
Now the scorer has ruled one of the singles an error, so only 3 runs are earned. The secret cabal that manipulates MLB outcomes realized they’d overdone their persecution of the Wolverines and scaled it back a notch so as to avoid too much scrutiny.
Meanwhile the White Sox have finally broken through for a 12 – 1 shellacking of the Orioles… with Eloy out of the lineup. Of course. Sigh.
EFL Standings for 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 15 | 7 | .700 | — | 151.3 | 99.0 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 12 | 7 | .638 | 1.8 | 107.6 | 81.1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 13 | 8 | .607 | 2.2 | 121.9 | 98.1 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 14 | 10 | .571 | 2.7 | 134.5 | 116.6 |
| Kaline Drive | 13 | 12 | .537 | 3.5 | 90.5 | 84.1 |
| Cottage Cheese | 9 | 10 | .490 | 4.6 | 100.1 | 102.1 |
| Peshastin Pears | 11 | 13 | .459 | 5.4 | 119.3 | 129.6 |
| Brookland Outs | 8 | 11 | .422 | 5.9 | 85.2 | 99.7 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 9 | 13 | .413 | 6.3 | 102.9 | 122.9 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 7 | 12 | .374 | 6.8 | 95.3 | 123.3 |
| D.C. Balk | 8 | 13 | .375 | 7 | 89.5 | 115.6 |
| Haviland Dragons | 9 | 16 | .359 | 7.9 | 113.6 | 151.7 |
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Flint Hill: W, 10 – (-1). (41 PA, .297, .366, .486; 20 ip, 5 er, 2.25 ERA). Some of you may already realize this, but I am a true patriot. I do not spell what the Drama Department teaches “Theatre” because I do not wish the queen’s writ still ran in our nation. So if I spell “Infectious Humours” with a useless affected “u” you know I am not talking about anything funny. I know the difference between infectious humor — laughing with Dan Vogelbach (0 for 4) while he’s still out-OPSing Mike Trout 1.304 to 1.244 despite Trout’s great day (two double and two walks in 5 plate appearances) — and infectious humours (that corrosion to the soul at the thought of Trout as a Tornado all the way through 2021. A year after my Vogelbach contract expires) .
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Pittsburgh: W, 4 – (-1). (37 PA, .250, .351, .375; 8 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA) Despite the stellar slants of Stephen Strasburg (who authored all eight of those sparking innings), the A’s could not keep up with the T’s on Sunday, I am definitely NOT saying I am rooting for the Alleghenys. After all the indignities they have inflicted, how could I? As one of the chief anglophiles of my acquaintance, the Top Allegheny is perhaps the most likely person in the league to be tempted to want to award honours to outstanding graduates. But even with those irritations, I somehow rankle more at a usurper like the Dragons than the familiar subservience to the Alleghenys.
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Canberra: W, 18 – 10. (35 PA, .194, .286, .419; 8 ip, 2 er, 2.25 ERA). As the last team in this update to record a real win until we get down below the Wolverines (yes, it’s still possible), the Kangaroos deserve our respect. We shall never bow to them, since we Americans bow to no human. But we might doff a cap, or give a salute, should they finish first.
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But cut the clamour. Any talk of a Canberran crown is premature as long as they insist on hitting like Wolverines.
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Portland: “W”, 6 – 9. (25 PA, .292. .320, .542; 4 ip, 5 er, 11.25 ERA). And the same goes for the Rosebuds, as long as they insists on pitching like Wolverines. Five batters OPSed 1.000 or better. The other two went a perfect 0 for 5. But Blaine Hardy chulked (1.3 ip, 3 er) in relief of a barely-better Brett Anderson (2.7 ip, 2 er).
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Kaline: L, 2 – 4. (42 PA, .162, .262, .297; 8.3 ip, 2 er, 2.16 ERA). Max Fried fired a fine 6.3 innings, 2 er game, and Ty Buttrey and Shane Greene relieved for 2 scoreless innings, but the offense was the weakest in the EFL. Again. The Drive are scoring only 3.7 runs per game. I don’t think anyone else is under 4.5. And yet they are still in with the contenders, because their pitchers are permitting fewer than 3.4 runs per game. And the next best pitching staff in the EFL is surrendering 4.37 runs per game.
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Cottage: L, 5 – 6. (37 PA, .273, .351, .485; 3 ip, 1 er, 3.00 ERA). I wonder if the world-traveling Head Cheese is making a stop in Merrie Olde England. He’s been there before and seemed to enjoy himself more than was respectable for democratic republican. He even has a player named Thames featured prominently on his roster, who blasted a pinch hit homer just yesterday! Maybe you think my fears of English monarchists are over-reactions. But consider this: our apparently humble, good natured, friendly Head Cheese chose for his favorite prospect Alex Verdugo, whose Spanish last name means “executioner”?
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Peshastin: L, 3 – 13. (56 PA, .259, .276, .463; 6.3 ip, 9 er, 12.79 ERA). When you only get two free passes in 56 plate appearances — and one of those free passes was a HBP — this means your walk rate is under 2%. I’m not even going to look this up: no championship winning team ever had a walk rate anywhere near 2%, let alone below that figure. No championship team, I should say, outside of Great Britain! But they call their version of the game cricket.
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Brookland: L, 9 – 10. (40 PA, .353, .450, .529; 3.7 ip, 5 er, 12.27 ERA). A 9.97 OPS, it turns out, does not overcome a 12.27 ERA. I’ve always wondered. Brooks, make sure to let Shane Bieber know how much I appreciated his chulk (2.3 ip, 5 er) (no doubt spelt “choulk” or maybe “chulke” across the pond) in the service of science.
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Old Detroit: L, 4 – 4. (41 PA, .143, .268, .314; 12.7 ip 5 er, 3.55 ERA). Robbie Ray had a great outing (6ip, 1 er). So did Austin Hedges (2 for 3 with a homer) and Josh Bell (1 for 3 with a homer and a walk). I just keep hoping some of this is infectious, somehow…
… And, lo, it is, exactly as I hoped. Some of it is infectious. Tonight (Monday) my final totals are already in: 8 AB, 3 hits, one triple, two walks: .375, .500, .625! That’s the infected part. Unless it’s the other infected part: 1 ip, 3 er, 27.00 ERA. One of these infections is not like the other.
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Bellingham: W, 10 – 7. (43 PA, .342, .400, .684; 6.7 ip, 4 er, 5.40 ERA). Does it make any sense to any of you that the two incandescent hitting stars Sunday for the Cascades were the might Tommy La Stella (32 for 3 with 2 homers and a probably corrective HBP) and Jarrod Dyson (2 for 3 with one homer and a walk)? Surek there were four other guys at 1.000 or better, plus Ronald Acuna hitting like top prospects are supposed to hit (.800 OPS). I am jealous. Not just jealus: good old-fashioned traditionally jealous with all its glorious ancient monarchical overtones.
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DC: W, 4 – 2. (35 PA, .226, .297, .355; 7.7 ip, 2 er, 2.35 ERA). Dylan Bundy led his team to victory with a fine 6 ip, 2 er effort. With Jarlin Garcia’s 1.7 scoreless innings, it was enough to get a win with a weak offense.
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Haviland: L, 0 – 9. (30 PA, .115, .233, .115; 5.3 ip, 5 er, 8.44 ERA). Really, it’s not as bad as it looks. Sure, yesterday the Dragons were sunning on the heights of 10th place. Now they’re mired in last. And 0 is not a good offensive result, nor is 9 much to cheer for on defense. BUT, keep in mind, Sunday morning the Dragons were 6.2 games out of first. The Cascades were in 11th, also 6.2 games out. And the Balk were in 12th, 6.3 games out. And Bellingham and DC both won. So it is no great shame to have slipped behind them. Although falling to 7.9 games is rather a big deal, as is ending up 0.7 behind the Outs and 1.1 behind the Cascades. Just remember: stiff upper lip! Don’t let those humours get to you.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 15 | 7 | .700 | — |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 14 | 8 | .636 | 1.4 |
| New York Yankees | 11 | 10 | .524 | 3.9 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 11 | 12 | .478 | 4.9 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 9 | 13 | .413 | 6.3 |
| Boston Red Sox | 9 | 13 | .409 | 6.4 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 8 | 15 | .348 | 7.9 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 13 | 8 | .607 | — |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 12 | 9 | .571 | 0.7 |
| Atlanta Braves | 11 | 10 | .524 | 1.7 |
| New York Mets | 11 | 10 | .524 | 1.7 |
| Washington Nationals | 10 | 10 | .500 | 2.2 |
| D.C. Balk | 8 | 13 | .375 | 4.9 |
| Miami Marlins | 6 | 16 | .273 | 7.2 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 12 | 7 | .638 | — |
| Minnesota Twins | 12 | 7 | .632 | 0.1 |
| Cleveland Indians | 12 | 9 | .571 | 1.1 |
| Detroit Tigers | 10 | 10 | .500 | 2.6 |
| Chicago White Sox | 8 | 12 | .400 | 4.6 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 7 | 12 | .374 | 5 |
| Kansas City Royals | 7 | 15 | .318 | 6.6 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 12 | 7 | .632 | — |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 12 | 9 | .571 | 1 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 13 | 10 | .565 | 1 |
| Chicago Cubs | 10 | 10 | .500 | 2.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 9 | 10 | .490 | 2.7 |
| Brookland Outs | 8 | 11 | .422 | 4 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 8 | 13 | .381 | 5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Seattle Mariners | 16 | 9 | .640 | — |
| Houston Astros | 13 | 8 | .619 | 1 |
| Texas Rangers | 12 | 8 | .600 | 1.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 13 | 12 | .537 | 2.6 |
| Oakland A’s | 11 | 13 | .458 | 4.5 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 9 | 13 | .409 | 5.5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 9 | 16 | .359 | 7 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 15 | 9 | .625 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 14 | 10 | .571 | 1.3 |
| San Diego Padres | 12 | 11 | .522 | 2.5 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 11 | 11 | .500 | 3 |
| Peshastin Pears | 11 | 13 | .459 | 4 |
| Colorado Rockies | 9 | 13 | .409 | 5 |
| San Francisco Giants | 9 | 14 | .391 | 5.5 |