I am going to outsmart WordPress today. We’ll be nimble, we’ll be quick, we’ll get done e’er the gremlins strike.
But I still want to highlight some of our head-to-head one-on-one races within the larger pennant chase.
EFL Standings for 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Portland Rosebuds | 30 | 18 | .629 | — | 288.2 | 219.8 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 29 | 17 | .624 | 0.5 | 273.6 | 210.9 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 26 | 21 | .556 | 3.6 | 264.4 | 236.6 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 25 | 21 | .545 | 4.1 | 253.0 | 228.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 25 | 23 | .517 | 5.4 | 229.9 | 223.4 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 24 | 23 | .507 | 5.9 | 219.3 | 215.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 24 | 24 | .495 | 6.4 | 191.9 | 193.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 22 | 26 | .466 | 7.8 | 216.5 | 234.0 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 21 | 26 | .450 | 8.5 | 235.0 | 263.0 |
| Cottage Cheese | 19 | 26 | .422 | 9.7 | 215.7 | 252.4 |
| Brookland Outs | 18 | 27 | .398 | 10.8 | 214.3 | 265.0 |
| D.C. Balk | 17 | 30 | .372 | 12.2 | 194.5 | 253.6 |
.
Johnson v. Johson I: The Sibling Rivalry
Portland: DNP, 2 – (-1). (28 PA, .200, .276, .480; 10.3 ip, 1 er, 0.87 ERA).
Flint Hill: L, 6 – 12. (14 PA, .385, .429, .615; 7 ip, 9 er, 11.57 ERA).
Xander Bogaerts and Max Kepler led the Tornados (5 for 9 with a homer and a walk), but that slacker Mike Trout went 0 for 4 and Mychal Givens nearly quadruple chulked. These failures cost the Tornados their long-held lead in the EFL. Anthony Rendon hit a double and a homer and walked twice without making an out to lead the younger sibling past the ERA-bloated elder sibling for a 1.2-game gain and a half game lead in the EFL race.
.
The Mock Battle
Canberra: W, 8 – 6. (23 PA, .316, .435, .526 — Happy Edgar Martinez Day! ; 2 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA).
Old Detroit: W, 9 – 3. (32 PA, .387, 406, .677; 6 ip, 1 er, 1.50 ERA)
Chris Paddock supplied 6 sparkling innings, and big boys Rafael Devers (6′, 237 lbs) and Dan Vogelbach (6′, 250 lbs) combined to go 4 for 5 with two homers and a stolen base to lead a wild Wolverine attack that only produced a 0.3-game gain on the Kangaroos. Tim Beckham went 3 for 4 with a grand slam home run to hold off the surging Wolverines for another day.
.
The Academic Dispute
Peshastin: W 1, L (-1); 0 – (-3). (36 PA, .188, .278, .313; 9.3 ip, 1 er, 0.96 ERA.)
Pittsburgh: W, 4 – 3. (42 PA, .275, .310, .525; 8.3 ip, 3 er, 3.24 ERA.)
Earlier this month the Alleghenys picked up Peter Alonso and Michael Chavis in our manager’s meeting. (Note: weigh in on options for our next manager’s meeting here. Now.) Those two went a combined 3 for 8 with two homers to lead the Allegheny attack, while Luke Weaver and three relievers held most opponents at bay. But it wasn’t enough to parry the Pears, whose Mike Soroka and two relievers pitched even better, while Joey Gallo homered, walked and singled in 4 plate appearances to give the Pears some apparent offense.
.
Johnson v. Johnson II: The Elder Rivalry
Kaline: L, 1 – 5. (33 PA, .161, .206, .226; 6.3 ip, 3 er, 4.26 ERA).
Haviland: “L”, 8 – 7. (27 PA, .305, .407, .739; 7.3 ip, 3 er, 3.68 ERA).
Danny Santana went 2 for 5 with a double for the Drive to offer a hint of support for Jake Arrieta’s fine 6 ip, 1 er performance. Haviland closed the gap behind a trio of homers by Amed Rosario, Gary Sanchez, and the resurrected Miguel Sano, along with slightly more and better pitching.
.
The Votaw/Duncan Family Feud
Bellingham: W, 9 – 7. (27 PA, .320, .370, .720; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA).
Cottage: L, 0 – 8. (22 PA, .000, .250, .000; 0 ip, 0 er, 0.00 — or maybe infinite — ERA)
Ah, Ronald Acuna. They best ball player in history named Ronald. He and his two homers and a double rightfully should return to the team managed by the best EFL owner in history named Ronald. Until things are brought to rights, Acuna torments the Cheese, who couldn’t locate a pitcher Monday, nor (apparently) any hitters, getting no-hit by nobody in particular.
.
The Torment
Brookland: L, 5 – 6. (5 PA, .250, .400, .250; 0 pitching)
DC: W (-1), L 2; 2 – 7. (35 PA, .182, .229, .303; 3.7 ip, 2 er, 4.91 ERA).
I can’t remember a time when a team made as slight a showing as the Outs did Monday — just two hitters: Manny Machado, going 1 for 3 with a walk; and Brian Dozier unsuccessfully pinch hitting. The Balk took advantage, sort of — they showed up to play, but played without zest or panache. I can’t help but wonder what being named for a bad baseball result does to morale on these two teams. Is it mere coincidence that they occupy the places they do in the standings?
.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| New York Yankees | 29 | 17 | .630 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 29 | 17 | .624 | 0.3 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 27 | 17 | .614 | 1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 25 | 21 | .545 | 3.9 |
| Boston Red Sox | 25 | 22 | .532 | 4.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 19 | 28 | .404 | 10.5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 15 | 32 | .319 | 14.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 28 | 19 | .596 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 26 | 21 | .556 | 1.9 |
| Atlanta Braves | 26 | 22 | .542 | 2.5 |
| New York Mets | 21 | 25 | .457 | 6.5 |
| Washington Nationals | 19 | 28 | .404 | 9 |
| D.C. Balk | 17 | 30 | .372 | 10.5 |
| Miami Marlins | 13 | 31 | .295 | 13.5 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Minnesota Twins | 31 | 16 | .660 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 25 | 21 | .543 | 5.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 24 | 23 | .507 | 7.2 |
| Chicago White Sox | 21 | 25 | .457 | 9.5 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 21 | 26 | .450 | 9.8 |
| Detroit Tigers | 18 | 26 | .409 | 11.5 |
| Kansas City Royals | 16 | 31 | .340 | 15 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago Cubs | 27 | 18 | .600 | — |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 28 | 21 | .571 | 1 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 24 | 20 | .545 | 2.5 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 24 | 23 | .511 | 4 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 21 | 26 | .447 | 7 |
| Cottage Cheese | 19 | 26 | .422 | 8 |
| Brookland Outs | 18 | 27 | .398 | 9.1 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 32 | 16 | .667 | — |
| Kaline Drive | 24 | 24 | .495 | 8.2 |
| Texas Rangers | 22 | 23 | .489 | 8.5 |
| Oakland A’s | 23 | 25 | .479 | 9 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 22 | 25 | .468 | 9.5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 22 | 26 | .466 | 9.7 |
| Seattle Mariners | 23 | 27 | .460 | 10 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 31 | 17 | .646 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 30 | 18 | .629 | 0.8 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 25 | 23 | .521 | 6 |
| Peshastin Pears | 25 | 23 | .517 | 6.2 |
| San Diego Padres | 24 | 24 | .500 | 7 |
| Colorado Rockies | 20 | 25 | .444 | 9.5 |
| San Francisco Giants | 20 | 26 | .435 | 10 |
‘