Cottage Blog Poetry

The Ninth Annual Cheese Lament

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the triumph of the Cheese;
The fact that it will be next year has set my heart at ease.
We have drafted very skillfully and traded with the rest,
Yes, Cottage is the best!

Glory, glory to the Rosebuds,
Next year we predict they’ll be duds,
Dragons and Tornadoes and especially Wolverines
Will bow down to the Cheese!

This year we had great hitting but our pitching staff went bust
Manaea, Severino, both their shoulders turned to dust
The bullpen: Alexander, Kela, Alvarado too
Their innings were too few.

(Repeat Chorus)

Goodbye, Jorge Polanco, and to Wilson Ramos too,
You’ve been great, and we will miss you but we’re getting someone new
We’re stuck with Danny Duffy for another year at most
Of that pick I don’t boast.

(Repeat Chorus)

Next year we’ll have Ohtani on the mound and at the plate,
McNeil and Moncada too, their hitting will be great,
Chirinos and Verdugo will develop into stars
The trophy will be ours!

(Repeat Chorus, going up a half step, and sing loudly)


  • Ah! Poetry. We feel your feelings. Sabermetrics can’t touch the heart the way a cheesy lament does.

  • Entertaining, as always? But a lament? I’m not so sure. While there are occasional lamentations this feels more like a fight song, or even a victory march. Watch out for the MIGHTY CHEESE.

    • You are right – I kept trying to make it more of a lament, but with the lyrics from “Battle Hymn of the Republic” going through my head I just couldn’t do it.

  • There’s a typo in the chorus, at the end of the third line. “Alleghenys” are obviously the team you meant to name there, both because they have almost half the league’s championships, including one about four years more recently, and because their name better rhymes with “Cheese.”

    • Yes, but “Wolverines” scans beautifully, and “Alleghenys” doesn’t scan at all. Say the line out loud and you’ll see what I mean.