We’re in the Hall of Fame!

Yes, you read that headline right: we ARE in the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

No, no, no, don’t be ridiculous.  I didn’t say you were in the Hall of Fame.  What have you ever done to deserve that?  I said WE were in the Hall of Fame.  Ryan, Ben and I.

Do we have plaques on the walls in Cooperstown?  Well, now that you ask, I’m not sure.   But who needs a plaque?  People would have to drive deep into New York’s backwoods to see a plaque.  I mean, how often do you see the EFL Trophy? So seldom, I bet, you wonder if it even exists.

We have something far better: window stickers. I got mine in the mail yesterday.  It says, plain as day (once I stick it to the inside of my car window), “National Baseball Member Hall of Fame.”  The syntax would confuse Yoda, but the impact of the message is clear.  Wherever I drive, or park my car, everyone will be able to see it!

Plus there are other indicia of our status.  For example, accompanying my Window Sticker of Membership was  a copy of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum 2019 Yearbook.  It has articles about this year’s inductees, and a roster of every member of the Hall of Fame.  Our names aren’t on the roster, but that’s only because it went to press before our admission. Lots of people you never heard of, whose achievements had to be somewhere other than on the playing field, are in there, on about the same footing as Ryan, Ben and I.

And, of course, there’s the fact that we three got to hobnob with literally tons of Hall of Famers, not only Edgar Martinez and Mariano Rivera but dozens of historical figures from Aaron and Koufax to Trammell and Morris.  If you don’t believe me, you can ask any of the other 50,000 people who were there with us. Including Jeff Rickey.

Also,  while we were in Cooperstown we didn’t have to stand in line to get into the Hall of Fame museum building.  We got to use the members’ entrance around back.  We didn’t have to pay, either.    And you should have seen the completely abashed deference with which we were treated by all the non-members!

Actually, I didn’t see it, either. Too many people in this decadent decade do not know how to behave consistently with their station in life.  But I know I can rely on owners in the EFL to show their good breeding now that our true status has been revealed.

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