League Updates

Intimacy in the EFL

One of the things I imagine you have felt in various forms has been the ways in which the pandemic has disconnected us from one another. You can read articles on Zoom fatigue, find hundreds if not thousands of church services streaming online, and as you all know, we have had to settle for watching baseball games in our homes, by ourselves. Just the other day I was thinking about my trip up to Seattle on Opening Day to watch the Mariners beat the Red Sox, and even though I drove home that day feeling defeated, I also knew in my bones that it was a good day.

Now? Cardboard cutouts serve as proxies for us, you have to cheer using an app, and any peanuts you buy are actually priced reasonably (ok, I guess this last one if a good thing).

I imagine that is why, upon leaving the mound during the game last night, Joe Kelly made smoochy lips towards Carlos Correa…I think. He, like us, has missed being together with other people!

It seems like even in our own EFL there is a desire to be close together, with teams trading places in the standings so often, and no one being more than 2.5 games separated from one another. The EFL owners miss each other, and I find that heartwarming. 


One of the more interesting things about the season so far is that even though they have not played a game since Sunday, the Marlins are still in first place in the NL East at 2-1. This means that two EFL teams (Canberra and DC have only played 3 games, though everyone else has played 5. At some point they will catch up, but for now they are suspended like the Marlins. 

EFL
Team Wins Losses Pct. GB RS RA
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 3 2 .613 31.2 24.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes 3 2 .530 0.4 21.1 19.8
Peshastin Pears 2 3 .468 0.7 20.6 22.0
Cottage Cheese 2 3 .417 1 22.3 26.4
Canberra Kangaroos 1 2 .355 1 13.7 18.5
D.C. Balk 1 2 .349 1 9.8 13.4
Haviland Dragons 2 3 .378 1.2 29.3 37.7
Portland Rosebuds 2 3 .349 1.3 29.6 40.4
Old Detroit Wolverines 2 3 .323 1.5 16.0 23.2
Kaline Drive 1 4 .292 1.6 14.3 22.2
Bellingham Cascades 1 4 .109 2.5 15.9 45.4

Pittsburgh: W1, L1 6-11 (.174, .208, .217; 6.2IP, 5ER, 6.72 ERA) The Alleghenys picked a bad day (or if you are everyone else, it was a good day) to have a bad day. The Indians took the lead in the AL Central, and they have played 5 games. The Alleghenys could have really extended their lead, but instead put on a pretty bad display of baseball. Their batters had more Ks than hits and their pitchers tried to give up more runs than IP, however they failed. 

Flint Hill: W, 7-6 (.296, .355, .667; 2IP, 0ER, 0.00 ERA) The Tornadoes were able to take advantage of Pittsburgh’s bad day to move within .4 games of the leader. Half of our hits were for extra bases (3 HRs and 1 2B) and though there wasn’t enough pitching, it was good enough to notch a win and make things interesting, for at least a day.

Peshastin: L, 4-8 (.192, .276, .346; 3IP, 4ER, 12.00 ERA) The Pears, like the Nationals, seem to be really missing Soto. The reigning champion Nationals have started the year 1-4, and the Pears have fared a little better though are still not the Pears we are expecting. Perhaps the only story worth mentioning is that Tommy Edman hit a HR, and because there are no fans in the stands and because Tommy’s brother works for the Twins, his brother got to keep the HR ball. Doesn’t that almost make you forget about losing yesterday, Phil?

Cottage: W, 5-2 (.286, .348, .405; 5IP, 0ER, 0.00 ERA) I spent almost an hour talking with the Cheese management today, and they said nothing about how great they played yesterday. I made sure he knew about my top performers, but he took the high road and did not mention the fact that JD Davis went 2-3 with a HR and Yonny Chirinos pitched 4 innings without giving up a run. This just confirms the fact that the Cheese management might be the nicest guy in the league (I’ve learned it helps to be extra kind to the IT manager…they control a LOT!)

Canberra: DNP, 0-(-1) (.200, .375, .360; 5IP, 2ER, 3.60 ERA) The Roos are, I think, glad they didn’t have a game yesterday. These stats don’t necessarily scream, “WIN!” Vladito did get his first HR of the season, and though it popped out of the OFers glove and over the fence, MLB made sure to put it on the front page as a noteworthy event. The pitchers were able to shave a run off their RA, but there won’t be much movement until someone in the division decides to known the idle Marlins off the top perch.

DC: DNP, 3-5 (.280, .351, .520; 11IP, 10ER, 8.18 ERA) Like the Roos, I believe the Balk are glad that they didn’t have a game yesterday. Their hitting was decent, led by reigning batting champ Tim Anderson who went 4-9 with a HR over two games on the day. Their pitching, however, strayed from the usual early-season Balk dominance. Dylan Cease was perhaps the worst of them all, giving up 4 runs in less than 3IP. Maybe someone should tell him to “cease” giving up runs. Is it that easy?

Haviland: “W,” 7-8 (.300, .341, .550; no pitching) Yesterday I commended the Dragons for some good pitching the day before, finally, and apparently it went to their head because no one pitched yesterday. Their hitters almost made it a moot point, led by Carlos Correa who was 3-4 with a HR. Correa was also on the receiving end of a Joe Kelly duckface/tongue-wag which landed Kelly on the suspension list for 8 games (which, in case you are wondering, is 13% of the season – equivalent to 22 games in a normal season).

Portland: “W,” 10-11 (.304, .429, .783; 3.7IP, 5ER, 12.16 ERA) Have you ever seen those cartoons where they tie the tails of two cats together and then light a firecracker and watched them try to run away but they both go in opposite directions and just yank each other to the ground? That’s exactly what happened to the Rosebuds yesterday! They scored 10 runs, led by the debut of Anthony Rendon who hit a HR in his first game back from injury. But the pitching was running in a different direction and it didn’t end well for either the hitters or the pitchers. The Rosebuds are giving up an average of 8 runs a game, which is almost as bad as the Red Sox this year. But not quite. 

Old Detroit: “W,” 3-6 (.222, .276, .333; 3.7IP, 2ER, 4.86 ERA) Trea Turner continues to lead the way for the Wolverines. He is on pace for an Edgar Martinez season, but hasn’t been able to convince the rest of his teammates to join in the fun. Walker Buehler was also fairly pedestrian (get it?) and even though the Ws ended up with a W, it is not really a W.

Kaline: L, 2-3 (.161, .257, .194; 7.3IP, 2ER, 2.47 ERA) Kyle Lewis continues to be a bright spot for both the Drive and also the Mariners. He went 2-4 last night, and on the season is slashing .500, .500, .750! But most of the other players decided the walk from the dugout to the batter’s box and back again was enough exercise for the day – Drive players had 11 Ks in the game. 

Bellingham: W1, L1, 5-15 (.087, .222, .087; 2IP, 0ER, 0.00 ERA) The Cascades suffered the same fate as the Alleghenys, with a different team taking over first in their division and there causing a DHer for them, and their just wasn’t enough pitching to cover that change. Not to mention a batting order that went 2 for 23. The good news? They are only 2.5 games out of first!

1 Comment

  • I hadn’t thought about the Marlins just sitting at the top of the standings. Gonna be a doozy of an update when someone finally passes them… If anyone does.