Once in a while I remember something CS Lewis said in Surprised by Joy:
“The first lifelong friend I made at Oxford was A. K. Hamilton Jenkin… Jenkin seemed able to enjoy everything; even ugliness. I learned from him that we should attempt a total surrender to whatever atmosphere was offering itself at the moment; in a squalid town to seek out those very places where its squalor rose to grimness and almost grandeur, on a dismal day to find the most dismal and dripping wood, on a windy day to seek the windiest ridge. There was no Betjemannic irony about it; only a serious, yet gleeful, determination to rub one’s nose in the very quiddity of each thing, to rejoice in its being (so magnificently) what it was.”
EFL Standings for 2021
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 52 | 20 | .724 | — | 417.2 | 257.8 |
| Kaline Drive | 47 | 25 | .655 | 5 | 374.0 | 270.3 |
| D.C. Balk | 44 | 23 | .657 | 5.6 | 362.0 | 263.2 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 46 | 26 | .641 | 6 | 343.2 | 258.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 46 | 26 | .635 | 6.4 | 342.9 | 264.2 |
| Haviland Dragons | 45 | 27 | .629 | 6.9 | 351.1 | 275.4 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 40 | 27 | .590 | 10.1 | 343.2 | 289.0 |
| Cottage Cheese | 39 | 34 | .536 | 13.5 | 402.8 | 385.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 38 | 34 | .528 | 14.1 | 358.9 | 337.9 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 34 | 38 | .475 | 18 | 291.0 | 308.3 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 32 | 40 | .445 | 20.1 | 376.5 | 429.2 |
Old Detroit: DNP, (-3) – 0. (35 PA, .161, .257, .323; no pitching). Who was the offensive leader for the Wolverines? You might say Will Smith, who blasted a homer, going 1 for 4, to lead in OPS (1.250). Or you might pay attention to which direction the Wolverine offense went yesterday, which was to erase runs from their season total, in which case Austin Riley was the leader at 0 for 6 — the worst batting line in the major leagues.
Or you may decide the leader is Byron Buxton, who was playing in his third game since coming off a 6 – week stint on the IL, his second stint of injury-related missed games this season. Last night Buxton reached base twice. The second time was in the fourth inning of a 12-inning game, when he was hit by a pitch. Which, of course, broke his hand, sending him back to the IL for sojourn number 3 with a 2.33-game batting line of .333, 385, .667, an OPS of 1.052. Making him the team leader –maybe the league leader — in quiddity.
I am especially gleeful this morning, Eeyore-style, to have my nose rubbed in Buxton being (so magnificently) what he is.
Kaline: W, 5 – 2. (25 PA, .238, .280, .333; 4.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Aaron Civale faced 16 batters. He struck 5 out, 5 reached base, and 6 made outs on balls in play. But 4.7 innings is 14 outs. So where did he get the other 3 outs? I had to find out, so I looked it up: Civale got three double plays: a GIDP in the first inning, a strike-em-out-throw-em-out double play on an attempted steal in the third inning, and a fly-out-into-a-double play in the fourth.
By pressing my nose into the quirk in Civale’s pitching line to discover its quiddity, I learned something: flying out into a double play is not a GDIP, and thus does not hurt our batting lines.
DC: W 1, L 1; 6 – 8. (19 PA, .176, .263, .176; 5.3 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). The Mets played a double-header yesterday (finally) to start chipping away at their games-played deficit, giving the Balk two games played. Although the Balk roster apparently didn’t get the memo, so only 4 batters appeared, and only one pitcher. The batters batted a lot, covering almost 70% of the team’s minimum daily requirements for a single game — but maybe they shouldn’t have bothered, since their batting line was worse than replacement level.
If Balk fans are looking for some quiddity to enjoy to the fullest, savoring that awful offense is one option. Another would be to rejoice in Ian Anderson’s 5.3 shutout innings. Maybe scoreless innings are Anderson’s quiddity. His 3.33 ERA on the season suggests they aren’t, quite, although maybe it’s a foretaste of Anderson’s quiddity for the rest of the season. I bet the Boss Balk wouldn’t mind rubbing his nose into that.
Flint Hill: DNP, 1 – 4. (11 PA, .200, .273, .800; 11 ip, 7 er, 5.73 ERA). The Tornados got only two hits but they were doozies: homers by Sean Murphy and Mookie Betts. Now, if only the T’s could find two pitchers to perform simlarly, all might be well. Yu Darvish came close to a pitcher’s homer: 6 ip , 1 run. But Julio Urias did not: 4 ip, 6 earned runs allowed. There’s a bit of squalor. Does it almost achieve grandeur?
I dunno. It’s not even a chulk. There were two homers, but that’s not really a barrage. I think that .600 ISO is pretty grandiose — rub your nose in that. No, no — you’re supposed to rub your nose into it, not mine!
Peshastin: DNP, 0 – 0. (14 PA, .231, .286, .462; no pitching) The Pears, you would think, would be about as good as any EFL franchises to go completely inert. (Well, maybe other than our mountain ranges.) They almost achieved complete motionlessness yesterday, allowing exactly 0.0 runs and scoring only 0.1. Which was quite a feat considering Ozzie Albies homered yesterday. A home run that only scores 0.1 runs: now there’s a unique thing, with some quiddity to savor.
Haviland: W, 9 – 4. ( 32 PA, .280, .438, .720; 1.7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). This is the healthiest offensive performance we’ve seen so far from an EFL team. 7 hits, 7 walks — it’s kind of beautiful. Two doubles, three homers — lots of fireworks to savor. Joc Pederson was the only Dragon not to reach base safely, but maybe this small imperfection only enhances the quiddity of the Dragons’ powerful offense.
Or one might also notice how the Havvies gained 0.6 games on the Wolverines, pulling themselves within 7 games (6.9 to be exact). This puts 5 teams, 2nd place through 6th, within 2 games of each other.
Canberra: W 2, L 0; 6 – 5. (5 PA, .200, .200, .400; 7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 era). Now here’s a day with all sorts of quids to sniff at:
1. Only 2 batters appeared. One hit into a double, the other hit into a double play. That’s awfully close to adding up as 0 offense, but surely there’s some value left in that extra base before being doubled up?
2. Those seven shutout innings were also 7 no-hit innings. Maybe we can call this a Bumgarner, because MLB won’t call it an official no-hitter.
3. The scarcity of actual stats from yesterday left Canberra vulnerable on a day they played two (thanks to the Mets). But somehow the Cannies escaped with a 6 – 5 score.
4. A 6 – 5 score is not a big win. Yet somehow the Canniest team in the EFL turned it into a 2 win, 0 loss outcome. ‘
5. Despite a 2 win day, the Canberran winning percentage stayed the same, a rock-solid .590.
6. All this resulted in a 0.4-game gain on first place, but fell just short of getting the team within 10 games of the lead. The ‘Roos are closer to last place (10.0 games) than they are to first (10.1 games). This might be the only truly squalid point of the day, but I think it rises to some grandeur, being almost precisely suspended 10 games away from the top and bottom of the league. Make the right tweak today, and it might happen!
7. On the other hand, the ‘Roos are closer to the back of the 2-6 peleton (3.2 games) than they are to the 8th place Cheese (3.4 games).
Cottage: L, 3- 6. (16 PA, .133, .188, .133; No pitching). Here’s another very light day, statistically. Two singles and a walk — and that’s it! So my attention diverts to EWIE (ex-Wolverine Infielder Extraordinaire) Abraham Toro, who burst onto the scene for the Cheese Friday, suddenly called up from AAA to go two for 4 with a homer. Since then he’s gone 6 for 13 with two walks, making his line over his 4 days of work 8 for 17, .471, .526, .706.
This isn’t a fluke, or at least, not much of one. Toro was batting .352, .485, .593 in AAA when he was called up. He hit even better in 2019 in AAA – which is why I drafted him late in the 2020 Rookie Draft. But in 2020 he batted only .149, .237, .276 in MLB so I stupidly left him unprotected in the Rule 5 draft. The Cheese pounced. Now I face 4 years of excruciating regrets. Ah, the quiddity of it all!
Pittsburgh: W (-1), L 1; 1 – 5. (23 PA, .263, .348, .316; 5.7 ip, 8 er, 12.63 ERA). Here is why CS Lewis’ advice to rub our noses in the quiddity of things is so attractive to me. My paroxysms of excruciation over Abraham Toro, of all people, are part of what makes this league fun. Fun for all you voyeurs who enjoy watching me squirm, and even fun for me because I have my own little successes to savor (e.g. JP Crawford — obtained from Cottage in a trade last offseason — is batting .364, .414, .584 this month).
In the Alleghenys’ case, I wanted Frankie Montas when he was drafted. I couldn’t bid a competitive amount, so it’s not like I was the on the cusp of snagging him when Mark snatched him away. But still, I have thought many times about what might have been… and today, that thought is very pleasant for me, spiced because I am guessing it is not so pleasant for Mark. Montas is the pitcher responsible for that ugly pitching line, and the Allegheny’s backward lurch in the standings (0.4 games from first place), the biggest in the league.
I say my “Whew!” of pleasure is “spiced” by Mark’s pain because that aspect is a mix of pleasure and vicarious pain. I like Mark, and would be happy to just plain root for him except he has twice as many EFL championships as I do, which is, of course, a grievous thing. So I am both genuinely sorry to see him suffer a Montas monstrosity, and kind of happy about the Alleghenys getting some more payback for all the thumpings they have given the W’s. And for the litany of trades where the wily Allegheny has bilked me, and the time I passed over Mike Trout in the Rookie Draft to take Matt Moore, which I blame on Mark unreasonably yet totally.
Bellingham: W (-1), L 1; 1 – 5. (16 PA, .357, .438, .643; 6.3 ip, 6 er, 8.57 ERA). Another great day at the plate ruined by a terrible day from the mound The Cascades had more pitchers on the field (4) than hitters (3). All three hitters succeeded, ranging from He-Seong Kim’s 0 for 2 with a walk to Jonathan India’s 3 for 5 with a walk and Ronald Acuna Jr.’s 2 for 7 with a double and a homer. But Brett Anderson chulked (1.3 ip, 3 er) and Tyler Mahle struggled (4 ip, 3 er) and it took two relievers to tack on a scoreless inning.
What’s the quiddity here to savor? Well, there’s this: Bellingham got the exact same score as the Alleghenys, with the same result (a won lost and loss gained) — but still gained 0.1 games on the Alleghenys. I know, that isn’t super exciting since the C’s are still 3.9 games behind the A’s. But it’s something.
Or how about this: AJ Minter pitched 2/3 of an inning but faced only 1 batter. There wasn’t a double play. Minter threw four pitches to Francisco Lindor before getting him to ground into a fielder’s choice. Then, before he made any pitches to the next batter, he picked Lindor off first.
Portland: DNP, 1 – (-2) (21 PA, .294, .429, .294; 5 ip, 3 er, 5.40 ERA). Ok, I admit it: I am unusually well-suited for quiddity nose-rubbing. Here is something you maybe didn’t notice: all three elements in the Rosebud team’s batting slash line comprise a 2, a 9, and a 4, just in different orders. This is why I tell my sons I am never bored — a meaningless little piece of fluff like that entertains me.
The Rosebud offense consisted entirely of 5 singles and 4 walks, producing that spiffy OBP. On an off-day it was still enough to register as a run scored. The pitching doesn’t seem good enough to shave 2 runs off the runs allowed, but it erased 5 innings of replacements, and includes some rounding errors. It was almost — but not quite — enough to pull Portland back within 20 games of first place.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2021
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 52 | 20 | .724 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 46 | 26 | .641 | 6 |
| Boston Red Sox | 43 | 29 | .597 | 9.2 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 43 | 30 | .589 | 9.7 |
| New York Yankees | 38 | 33 | .535 | 13.7 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 35 | 35 | .500 | 16.2 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 23 | 49 | .319 | 29.2 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| D.C. Balk | 44 | 23 | .657 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 40 | 27 | .590 | 4.4 |
| New York Mets | 37 | 30 | .552 | 7 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 34 | 35 | .493 | 11 |
| Atlanta Braves | 34 | 37 | .479 | 12 |
| Washington Nationals | 33 | 36 | .478 | 12 |
| Miami Marlins | 31 | 40 | .437 | 15 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago White Sox | 43 | 29 | .597 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 40 | 30 | .571 | 2 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 38 | 34 | .528 | 5 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 34 | 38 | .475 | 8.8 |
| Kansas City Royals | 32 | 38 | .457 | 10 |
| Minnesota Twins | 31 | 41 | .431 | 12 |
| Detroit Tigers | 30 | 42 | .417 | 13 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 40 | 33 | .548 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 40 | 33 | .548 | — |
| Cottage Cheese | 39 | 34 | .536 | 0.9 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 36 | 36 | .500 | 3.5 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 35 | 36 | .493 | 4 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 25 | 45 | .357 | 13.5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Kaline Drive | 47 | 25 | .655 | — |
| Haviland Dragons | 45 | 27 | .629 | 1.9 |
| Houston Astros | 44 | 28 | .611 | 3.2 |
| Oakland A’s | 44 | 30 | .595 | 4.2 |
| Seattle Mariners | 38 | 36 | .514 | 10.2 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 36 | 36 | .500 | 11.2 |
| Texas Rangers | 26 | 46 | .361 | 21.2 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| San Francisco Giants | 46 | 26 | .639 | — |
| Peshastin Pears | 46 | 26 | .635 | 0.2 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 44 | 28 | .611 | 2 |
| San Diego Padres | 43 | 32 | .573 | 4.5 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 32 | 40 | .445 | 14 |
| Colorado Rockies | 30 | 43 | .411 | 16.5 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 21 | 53 | .284 | 26 |