Dies Mirabilis

1989 is probably the only year in my lifetime that might deserve the title “Annus Mirabilis” (year of miracles) for the fall of the Iron Curtain and the spread of human liberty that followed.  These were events hardly anyone foresaw even at the beginning of the year.  Not only was the news unbelievably good for months on end, they caught us by surprise.  It seemed miraculous at the time.

I’m not sure when the previous annus mirabilis would have been. 1956 springs to mind, but John and I might be the only ones to think so. 1945 — with the end of WWII and the founding of the UN — might have a case, except that both events were anticipated well before the year began, including their massive implications. 1776 is one of my favorite candidates for its confluence of the Declaration of Independence and the Wealth of Nations — independent events generating huge unforeeen advances toward liberty and prosperity.

(On the planet known as Two Moons, they’re having an annus mirabilis, both literally and literarily, except the years there are more than three times as long as they are here, which is not so much an act of God as an act of Phil.)

It’s entirely possible that there are many anni mirabili, but the miracles are below the radar and their effects, though real, are not entirely recognized then or later.

If there are anni mirabili, then certainly a dies mirabilis is also possible. Like, say, yesterday:

Haviland: W, 8 – 6.  .296, .406, .778; 33 ip, 17 er. A solid day, actually a little surprising how paltry were the returns on an 1.192 OPS.  But the bottom line is this: the Alleghenys, only 0.2 games out yesterday, are 1.8 back now!.

Old Detroit:  W, 4 – 1.  .295, .354, .364.  BP reports some decent Wolverine hitting, for once, which in the current context is already a minor miracle.  Also, Madison Bumgarner hit a homer off Clayton Kershaw — amazing, but useless. But here’s the big miracle: no one pitched yesterday.  But the Rangers demoted Kyuji Fujikawa, so the W’s could activate Wade Miley (and DFA Fujikawa, who never did us any good) and get some of Wade’s inexplicably good 3.30 May ERA into the bullpen where we’ve been short on innings.  So the ghostly effects of Fujikawa’s humiliation boosted the W’s back into second place.

Pittsburgh:  W (-1), L 2: 2 – 13.  .227, .292, .364;  6.3 ip, 5 er.  Those numbers would not have put Pittsburgh into first place, but what accounts for the Alleghenys suddenly being 1.8 games below the top?  It’s a miracle, I tell you!  The Grand Putin of Pittsburgh — we’ll have to stop calling him that hereafter — alerted the Commissioner’s office that Archie Bradley’s stats weren’t showing up.  After a brief investigation, we confirmed that Bradley wasn’t on the BP list we use as our data source. So the A’s weren’t getting the benefit of Bradley’s 10.29 May ERA.  We fixed that yesterday, and today we see the results.

(Let me hasten to clarify: the miracle isn’t the integrity shown by the Pittsburgh ownership.  One of the annoying things about them is they win without ever once cheating. That means they deserve  it, and exposes the rest of us for what we are: not in the A’s league. The miracle is the emergence of such an incompetent player on the A’s active roster.)

Oh, all right: inspired by the Allegheny example of integrity, I have to admit there was another Allegheny miracle yesterday: this slide by the annoyingly ubiquitous Mike Trout.

Peshastin: “L”,  2 – 0. .194, .256, .306; 12 ip, 1 er.  The more I think about it, the more I am convinced there have been many anni mirabili that we never noticed because their effects were mostly felt by commoners, the little people who never rise to join the social, economic, political, or athletic elites.  For example: the Pears get saddled with an official loss, they don’t hit worth beans, but they get outstanding pitching from Max Scherzer and a trio of relievers.  They jump three places in the EFL standings,  while losing!!  In MLB this would be impossible in a situation like this (without doubleheaders). Even in the EFL it’s a miracle.

Cottage: “W”. 5 – 7.  .333, .333, .472; 9 ip, 4 er.  I don’t want to take anything away from Peshastin’s miracle, but: the reason Cottage gave up 7 runs is they allocated Phil Hughes for 0% of his May innings, including the 7 ip, 2 er he put up yesterday.

Canberra: L, 1 – 8. .182, .270, .273; 8 ip, 7 er.  Umm, look, I’m sorry, but miracles are by definition rare. If they weren’t — if the laws of the universe didn’t hold 99.999% of the time — the cosmos would fall into disarray, which might disrupt the MLB schedule.  If the rest of your team (2 for 27 with 2 walks) stands around and waits for Bryce Harper (1 for 2 with a homer and a walk) and Jason Kipnis (3 for 4 with a walk) to do everything, you aren’t going to score many runs. And if Rick Porcello keeps surrendering 7 er in 4.3 innings, nobody’s relievers are going to be able to do much more to fix things than your three did yesterday.

Kaline: L, 0 – 6. .152, .250, .239; 7.3 ip, 4 er. Seven Drives combined to go 0 for 30. The other 5 Drive hitters went 7 for 16 with a double, a homer, and 3 walks (.437, .526, .687). With all the day’s miracles taken by people earlier in line, it’s sad but clear what happened to the Drive.

Flint Hill:  W, 8 – 3. .333, .417, .476; 12.7 ip, 5 er.

Portland: W, 5 – 3.  .316, .333, .342; 7 ip, 0 er.  Both of our Johnson Bros. franchises are run by clever young men.  They noticed that the W’s had the benefit of a miraculous boost merely by submitting a mid-month demotion-replacement reallocation.  They had posted roster moves recently that didn’t get executed before this morning, so I got reminders about them and finally did them after the stats were updated.

There are two possible reasons for this delay: 1) Commissioner incompetence, or 2) Commissioner benevolence.  (Yessss, those are the only two. Quit interrupting.) Consider this: today the Tornados and the Rosebuds demonstrated they aren’t slackers fooling around and waiting for God or some genie to come along and get them out of the work of self improvement. Without any miracles at all, they earned solid wins.  So maybe the Commissioner wasn’t being negligent in not executing the transactions.  Maybe he was just waiting to formalize them until it was the ideal time for a benevolent deity to be open to rewarding these franchises for their good and faithful service. No harm has been done — the moves still take effect back on the day they were submitted.  But sometimes you have to be patient. Remember what Miracle Max says: “You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles.”