Yogi’s Last Words for the EFL

Maybe I’m a racist, since I’m white and privileged, etc., but I don’t feel like one.  Maybe I’m a sexist, since I’m male and privileged, but I don’t feel like one of those, either. But I do have one pretty severe prejudice, that I feel all the way down: I hate the Yankees.

I hasten to add, I hate the Yankees as a team. I don’t hate them as individuals. I don’t wish them ill in their personal lives, not even Alex Rodriguez.  I just rejoice when they lose.

When Lance Berkman was a Yankee I stopped rooting for him in the immediate, although I started right up again as soon as he left.  When Ichiro became a Yankee, same thing… but now that he’s a Marlin, I look at his box score almost every day, hoping to see some hits. Dustin Ackley’s name graces the only MLB replica jersey I have ever owned. He’s a Yankee now.  The only way I root for him is for him to find his way to another team.

I used to have Bernie Williams and Mariano Rivera in the late 1990’s.  I rooted for them, but if their good games led to Yankee wins, I took no joy in their success. I can’t help it: my respect for them is tainted by their lifelong loyalty to the Evil Empire.

In my entire lifetime there is only one person whose connection with the Yankees has somehow never diminished my admiration for the man.   Yogi Berra died yesterday, leaving the world a little bit darker, a little less civil, the Yankees a little more polarizing.

 

 

Haviland:  W 2, L o; 16 – 7.  .354, .441, .620; 13 ip, 4 er.    “We have deep depth.” It took 9 Dragons pitchers to cover 13 innings.  I’d advise the Dragons not to get too full of themselves, since…   “You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.”

Old Detroit: W 1, L 1; 9 – 9.  .241, .316, .414; 19.3 ip, 9 er.   “What time is it? You mean now?”  “It gets late early out here.”  Corey Kluber made it get late a lot earlier by coughing up 4 earned runs in 3.2 innings yesterday.

Pittsburgh:  W 2, L 0; 9 – (-1). .260, .341, .507;  16 ip, 1 er.  “It ain’t over until it’s over.”  Two straight shutouts, one by Hishasi Iwakuma over 7 innings, the other by Lance Lynn over 6, keep  the Alleghenys on the edges of the pennant race. On the other hand,   “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

 

Flint Hill:  W 1, L 1; 4 – 5.  .231, .295, .346;  21.7 ip, 6 er.  The Tornadoes, having made their brazen point about who is going to be formidable next year, leveled off the last two days.  Don’t be one of these guys:  “There are some people who, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ’em.”  Instead, show respect for the veterans. “Always go to other people’s funerals or they won’t come to yours.”

Peshastin: W 0, L 2; 4 – 10.  .200, .274, .271;  43.3 ip, 19 er.    With no outstanding hitting the last two days — the best Pear OPSes were only .750 — and persistently unexciting pitching, I wonder if anyone is going to Pears games these days?  “If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?”  Or maybe “No one goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

Cottage: W 0, L 2;  3 – 15. .193, .220, .333;  10 ip, 7 er.   All my prognostications before the season had the Cheese either winning or coming in a close second.  That was before they developed a habit of turning in stretches of mediocrity like the last two days. I guess it’s true: “It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.” “We made too many wrong mistakes.”

Canberra: W 1, L 1; 6 – 5. .178, .288, .289; 20 ip, 6 er.  The ‘Roos have had a difficult year, getting an all-time great performance from Bryce Harper (currently .341, .472, .669 on the season) but nothing much to show for it.  “I don’t get upset over things I can control because if I can control them there’s no sense getting upset. And I don’t get upset over things I can’t control because if I can’t control them there’s no sense getting upset.”  Keep plugging away, and remember: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Kaline:  W 2, L 0;  11 – 7.  .266, .319, .500; 14.7 ip, 5 er.  Before this little surge, fueled by Mitch Moreland’s 4 for 8 with a homer and a walk, I believe the Drive were in line for the same draft pick they had last year. “It’s like deja vu all over again. ” Yogi has similar advice for the Drive to what he gave the Kangaroos: be persistent.   “You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.”

Portland: W 3, L (-1); 18 – 1.  .325, .385, .542;  25.7 ip, 4 er.  About May something became clear about the Rosebuds: “We were overwhelming underdogs.” But now they’ve gone and done it again, conceding one spot in the draft order (now 4th-ish) with three more teams crowded within 1/2 of a game of subpassing the Rosebuds.  The problem is the ‘Buds are full of hot prospects who are getting playing time and making excellent use of it.  This just has to stop, unless you’ve concluded that  “The future ain’t what it used to be.”

 

Some more random advice from Yogi:

On strategy — or maybe it’s about vision:  “You have to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.”

 

On empiricism:   “You can observe a lot just by watching.” “Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”       

On knowing your limits:  “You better cut the pizza in four pieces, I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”

On commitment: “I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”

On public relations: ” Never answer an anonymous letter.”

On unrealistic expectations:   “If the world was perfect it wouldn’t be.”

On a lifelong (at least) sense of adventure:  “Where do you want to be buried, Yogi.” “I don’t know. Surprise me.”