Poetry • Speculations

Short thoughts on shortstops

February 8, 2016
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  1.  Wouldn’t it be aesthetically satisfying if the Balk picked Alcides Escobar from the Dragons?  Escobar would then have been dropped by Haviland, drafted by Portland, traded to Haviland (for $750,000), unprotected by Haviland, and then drafted by D.C. — the net effect of which would be Haviland spending $750,000 for diddly.    (Or maybe it’s all an elaborate scheme to throw the Balk off the trail of more delectable Dragons! That might be worth $750,000, if it works.)
  2. My theme song for this expansion draft was going to be — well, you can see it below.  But now, doggone it.  How am I ever going to get the Balk to pick JJ Hardy if you guys keep putting cheaper shortstops out there?  First Alcides Escobar, then Segura, and now Cozart — all very similar to Hardy except for their low, low prices and (for two of them) inferior defense.  Pickles.
    But you never know. Maybe my expansion theme song will move balky hearts to do the right thing–
  3. Break my bats, Balk
    Quick, play thy part
    Block my plans
    Right from thy start
    Flaunt my bans
    If that’s thy art
    Flay my fans…
    But don’t pry Hard-
    Y from my flock.