League Updates

Fifty Shades of Grrrr!

Some people think they know annoying.  Hah!

EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Old Detroit Wolverines 41 25 .620 362.6 283.3
Portland Rosebuds 42 26 .610 0.4 350.8 273.0
Haviland Dragons 39 29 .580 2.5 325.0 280.6
Canberra Kangaroos 39 29 .568 3.3 336.1 290.2
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 36 30 .542 5.2 318.7 290.3
Flint Hill Tornadoes 34 32 .508 7.4 290.5 285.5
Peshastin Pears 33 35 .489 8.7 279.6 287.5
Cottage Cheese 30 35 .464 10.3 305.3 325.1
Kaline Drive 28 40 .405 14.4 306.8 372.7
D.C. Balk 21 47 .302 21.4 256.3 395.1
D.C.:  W (-1), L 2; 4 – 18. (.294, .314, .588;  8.3 ip, 13 er.) Yikes!  The Balk collapsed yesterday, dropping behind the Braves and almost all the way back to the Twins.  How?  The hitting was pretty good — Franklin Gutierrez’ two homers and a double in 5 AB  leading the way.  But the pitching! Yuck!   Pat Dean chulked (2.3 ip, 7 er). Dillon Gee triple chulked (1 ip, 3 er).   In a post on fifty shades of Grrr!, this doesn’t count.  It’s beyond annoying. It’s nearly tragic.
Kaline:  W,  8 – 5. (.324, .368, .735;  0.3 ip, 0 er).  Michael Saunders — alas, a former Wolverine and a former Mariner  — clouted three homers in 5 plate appearances to lead the Drive to a nice win.  Grrr!  Why couldn’t he have played like this LAST year? Or the year before? Now that’s annoying, by Canadian standards. But this is America.  Our dollar is bigger, our mile is bigger, our hot days are 50 degrees hotter. We barely notice what would cause a Canadian to abjectly apologize. So, sure, Saunders’ tardy arrival as a great hitter is mildly irritating, but it’s not going to stand out on these pages.
Cottage: L, 2 – 2.  (.190, .261, .310;  12.7 ip, 2 er.) The Head Cheese boasted yesterday:
“(T)he dread Pears… will soon find us annoying!”
Cheese pitchers:  Michael Fulmer and Kendall Graveman both held opponents to 1 earned run.
Cheese hitters:    Salvador Perez (double and homer in 5 AB, 1.600 OPS)
Nomar Mazara (2 for 4, 1.000 OPS)
Addison Russell (o for 2 with 3 walks, .600 OPS)
Everyone else (4 for 32 with a double and a walk, .308 OPS)
Someone probably finds the Cheese annoying, at least all those hitters, but will the Pears?  Or anyone beyond Cottage Street?  Come on.  You can do better than this.  Anyone can annoy their neighbors.  The test is, can you annoy everyone — including passing acquaintances?  I think we can find someone who can, if we look hard enough.
Peshastin:  W (-1), L 2; 4 – 8.  (.211, .295, .421;  2.7 ip, 1 er).  Anyway, the Pears are probably annoyed aplenty without any help from the Cheese. A seventh pitcher (Sevenerino Gonzalez) showed up for work, finally, half-way through the month, and did better than Flake Wood, but the Pears are up to 24.7 replacement innings this month, out of a team total of only 98 innings.  Who in Peshastin has the bandwidth to be annoyed by any piquant Cheese ?
Flint Hill: “W”, 1 – 2.  (.175, .267, .200; 23.7 ip, 8 er.)   Hey!  Scooter Gennett is back from the DL.  I don’t know when he came back, but I just noticed. Hard not to notice a nice 3 for 4 day with a double and a HBP.  He was the sole Tornado in the Flint Hill offense yesterday, the rest of the Wafts going 4 for 36 with 4 walks (.111, .200, .111, a sweet .311 OPS). On the other hand — and when you get to the above-.500 segment of the standings, there is usually another hand — Jeff Samardzija  (9 ip, 1 er) led the pitching staff to a very nice result.
Pittsburgh: “W”, 3 – 5.  (.176, .300, .235; 1.3 ip, 1 er).  The mighty Alleghenys played it low again Friday.  No one’s being annoyed by them these last couple of days, unless it’s the team owner.
Canberra: L, 2 – 7.  (.238, .283, .286; 2.7 ip, 3 er).  Yikes.  Not YIKES! like the Balk. Just… yikes. Half- hearted hurlers handed out twice as many walks (4) as k’s (2).   Bored batters barely budged from .250  straight across their batting lines… Well, actually, that last bit is misleading.  The TEAM barely budged from .250.  Chris Carter barely budged from .200 (1 for 5), but Yonder Alonso went .667, .500, .667, offensive twins Billy Hamilton and Bryce Harper both went .500, .500, .500 and Jonathan Lucroy went .400, .400, .600.  Meanwhile those other offensive twins Adeiny Hechavarria and Michael Conforto didn’t budge at all from their .000, .000, .000 line.  (Hechavarria gives new meaning to the label EWIE, doesn’t he?)
Haviland: “L”, 6 – 4.  (.286, .375, .425;  10 ip, 4 er). Quiet, solid quality, just what you would expect from a pack of Dragons.  Paul Goldschmidt was a little noisy (3 for 5 , double, hr), as was his sidekick Jake Lamb (.3 for 4 with a walk). But no one else was even a little bit irritating.
Portland: W, 6 – 2. (.255, .300, .491;  18 ip, 4 er).  Finally!  The Rosebuds get to benefit from a Justin Turner Overdrive (3 for 5 with 2 homers), and Yordano finally had a most excellent adVentura (6.3 shutout innings).  The Rosebuds pulled into the passing lane to finally zoom into first place …
Old Detroit: L, 3 – 4.  (.143, .294, .286;  12 ip, 5 er) … only to find some old geezer there, going 30 mph with his left turn signal blinking for miles and miles.  Now that’s  annoying!  Let’s hear it for the geezer!
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Old Detroit Wolverines 41 25 .620
Baltimore Orioles 38 28 .576 2.9
Boston Red Sox 37 29 .561 3.9
Toronto Blue Jays 39 31 .557 3.9
Flint Hill Tornadoes 34 32 .508 7.4
New York Yankees 33 34 .493 8.4
Tampa Bay Rays 31 34 .477 9.4
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Washington Nationals 43 25 .632
Canberra Kangaroos 39 29 .568 4.4
New York Mets 36 30 .545 6
Miami Marlins 35 32 .522 7.5
Philadelphia Phillies 30 38 .441 13
Atlanta Braves 21 46 .313 21.5
D.C. Balk 21 47 .302 22.5
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Cleveland Indians 36 30 .545
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 36 30 .542 0.2
Kansas City Royals 36 31 .537 0.5
Detroit Tigers 34 33 .507 2.5
Chicago White Sox 33 34 .493 3.5
Minnesota Twins 20 47 .299 16.5
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago Cubs 45 20 .692
St. Louis Cardinals 35 31 .530 10.5
Pittsburgh Pirates 33 34 .493 13
Cottage Cheese 30 35 .464 14.9
Milwaukee Brewers 31 37 .456 15.5
Cincinnati Reds 27 41 .397 19.5
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Texas Rangers 43 25 .632
Haviland Dragons 39 29 .580 3.6
Seattle Mariners 36 31 .537 6.5
Houston Astros 32 36 .471 11
Oakland A’s 29 38 .433 13.5
Los Angeles Angels 27 39 .409 15
Kaline Drive 28 40 .405 15.4
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
San Francisco Giants 42 26 .618
Portland Rosebuds 42 26 .610 0.5
Los Angeles Dodgers 36 33 .522 6.5
Peshastin Pears 33 35 .489 8.8
Colorado Rockies 32 34 .485 9
Arizona Diamondbacks 30 39 .435 12.5
San Diego Padres 27 42 .391 15.5