League Updates Uncategorized

Ichiro and MLB Neoconservativism

Ryan and I had a debate on the way to taking him to the airport Tuesday evening, about whether one can root for the Marlins when they have such a vile owner as Jeff Loria.  Ryan’s position was Loria was so evil we had to root for the Marlins to fail disastrously so he’d be driven out of the game. “Despotism anywhere fosters despotism everywhere” is Ryan’s position when it comes to baseball: other owners will feel they have to be snakes, too, to compete with the Marlins unless Loria is removed.

My position was Marlins fans and players (especially Ichiro, but also others like Yelich and Stanton) didn’t deserve to suffer just because Loria is a snake.

It’s the classic problem. How much suffering will we tolerate for innocents caught in the web of an evil regime, in order to remove the regime?  I have made the “political misery anywhere fosters political misery everywhere”  argument about all forms of political misery (including corruption and anarchy as well as tyranny) in arguing for a loving Christian duty to overthrow tyrannies (nonviolently).  But I have not extended my nonviolent neoconservative position to baseball. It is Ryan who takes the neoconservative position in this case, which is an interesting twist.

(Editorial note:  I debated whether to lead with this pic of Loria:

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or re-use this photo:

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to illustrate this post. I decided to feature Loria because I had just done the mouse thing a few days ago, even though the mouse picture perfectly illustrates Ryan’s MLB neoconservative position.)

EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Portland Rosebuds 65 37 .638 533.2 395.8
Old Detroit Wolverines 64 37 .632 0.8 538.7 409.8
Haviland Dragons 65 38 .627 1.1 501.7 390.1
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 59 40 .598 4.4 525.0 433.2
Peshastin Pears 55 47 .541 10 484.5 439.9
Canberra Kangaroos 54 48 .532 10.8 474.9 440.1
Flint Hill Tornadoes 50 51 .492 14.9 429.7 435.1
Cottage Cheese 49 52 .482 15.9 491.0 504.9
Kaline Drive 44 59 .432 21.1 503.4 580.7
D.C. Balk 34 68 .336 30.9 408.1 580.2
Portland: L, 3 – 3. (.238, .261, .333; 25 ip, 9 er).  Umm, Portland?  You’re making me a little nervous.  That’s my first place you’ve got there, remember?  I agreed to let you play with it, but now you’re beginning to act like you might not give it back.  I mean, why else would you come up with 25 innings of solid pitching on a day there were only 9 games played?  That wouldn’t be very nice, to grab my first place and run away with it, with my birthday coming up and all…
Old Detroit: L, (-3) – 4. (.097, .152, .097;  no pitching). … on the other hand, it would be hard not to gain ground on the Woeverines when they play like this: 3 singles for 31 AB with one walk. Looking on the bright side,  Woeverine hitters constructed a nicely symmetrical batting line.
Haviland: W, 6 – 3. (.389, .421, .444; 1 ip, 0 er). All that offense with only one extra base hit( a double) and one walk? Well, you can put up big numbers pretty easily when you only have 19 plate appearances.
Pittsburgh: W, 5 – (-1). (.304, .304, .478; 9 ip, 0 er.)  See, if the first place teams diddle around with little losses, the big boys (Dragons, Alleghenys) will swoop back to the top and then where will we be? David Price wasn’t fooling around: 8 shutout innings! Aledmys Diaz wasn’t goofing off: 2 for 5 with a double and a homer.
Peshastin: “L”, 7 – 6. (.333, .429, .333;  1 ip, 0 er).  Thanks a lot, Peshastin.  The little pleasure I was taking in achieving offensive symmetry is ruined now that YOU achieved symmetry along with a 7 – run offense.
Canberra: L, 3 – 5. (.211, .286, .263; no pitching).  A nondescript day for the Kangaroos. So I won’t spend a lot of time trying to describe it. This will have the benefit of not distracting Ryan from rethinking his position on rooting against the Marlins.
Flint Hill: L, 1 – 7. (.133, .188, .133; 7.3 ip, 5 er). There are worse things than being nondescript.  Another symmetrical offensive line — but by now we realize that just means nobody walked, which drains all the magic out of it. Bad pitching thanks to Robbie Ray’s 5 earned runs in 5.7 innings.
Cottage: L, 4 – 9. (.217, .250, .522; 5.0 ip, 6 er). The Braves sent Matt Wisler to the minors after this performance. If it weren’t for Max Kepler’s 2 for 3 with a homer and walk, there’d be no good news today out of the Cottage.
Kaline: “L”, 7 – 4. (.333, 474, .467; 1.3 ip, 0 er). An enviable offensive performance featured four hitters (out of 8) at or over 1.000 OPS, including Ichiro’s 3.000 OPS for his pinch-hit double.  He now only needs 2 more hits to reach 3,000 in MLB.  I read somewhere that he’ll be starting today. That game will begin at 4:10 PDT. His season line: .335, .408, .394.  That’s his highest batting average since 2009, his highest OBP since 2004, his highest slugging percentage since 2012, and his highest OPS since 2009.
True, Ichiro’s 3,000th hit will drive up attendance and revenue and line Loria’s pockets, and if they can give Ichiro one more chance at the offseason Loria will get even richer.   I’m going to root for Ichiro and Yelich anyway (but not Tom Koehler as long as he’s helping the Rosebuds abscond with first place) and I don’t think any of us will mind if Ichiro’s success fills Tom Johnson’s fantasy pockets a little fuller.
D.C.: W, 10 – 6. (.458, .552, .958; 2 ip, 0 er). Mitch Moreland blasted 2 homers in 3 plate appearances to lead the massive Balkan attack. Newly-recovered Aaron Altherr added a 3 for 4 with a homer.
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Old Detroit Wolverines 64 37 .632
Baltimore Orioles 58 43 .574 5.8
Toronto Blue Jays 57 45 .559 7.3
Boston Red Sox 55 45 .550 8.3
New York Yankees 52 49 .515 11.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes 50 51 .492 14.1
Tampa Bay Rays 39 61 .390 24.3
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Washington Nationals 60 42 .588
Miami Marlins 55 47 .539 5
Canberra Kangaroos 54 48 .532 5.7
New York Mets 53 48 .525 6.5
Philadelphia Phillies 47 57 .452 14
Atlanta Braves 35 67 .343 25
D.C. Balk 34 68 .336 25.8
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 59 40 .598
Cleveland Indians 57 42 .576 2.2
Detroit Tigers 54 48 .529 6.7
Chicago White Sox 50 52 .490 10.7
Kansas City Royals 49 52 .485 11.2
Minnesota Twins 38 63 .376 22.2
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago Cubs 61 40 .604
St. Louis Cardinals 55 47 .539 6.5
Pittsburgh Pirates 52 48 .520 8.5
Cottage Cheese 49 52 .482 12.3
Milwaukee Brewers 44 56 .440 16.5
Cincinnati Reds 40 61 .396 21
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Haviland Dragons 65 38 .627
Texas Rangers 59 44 .573 5.5
Houston Astros 55 46 .545 8.5
Seattle Mariners 51 49 .510 12
Oakland A’s 47 55 .461 17
Los Angeles Angels 46 56 .451 18
Kaline Drive 44 59 .432 20
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Portland Rosebuds 65 37 .638
San Francisco Giants 59 43 .578 6.1
Los Angeles Dodgers 57 45 .559 8.1
Peshastin Pears 55 47 .541 10
Colorado Rockies 50 52 .490 15.1
San Diego Padres 44 58 .431 21.1
Arizona Diamondbacks 42 60 .412 23.1