The other day, I think it was, I used to read to the Captain Kangaroo a book entitled The Monster at the End of this Book. The refrain on almost every page was “there’s a monster at the end of this book!” We loved the book because it was just for pretend.
Except now it’s not.
Well, I know, this is a fantasy league. So one could argue it’s for pretend. But really you could say that about MLB, too, since it Doesn’t Really Matter. So, in the context of the social construct of the EFL, I can definitively say: there really is a Monster at the end of THIS book.
Don’t believe me? Turn the page…er, I mean, scroll down. But do it slowly.
(Note: I didn’t post commentary on the standings yesterday — it’s crazy time! — although I did update the standings. Today’s post will refer to Saturday morning’s standings to record W/L and RS/RA. )
EFL Standings for 2017
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Cottage Cheese | 14 | 4 | .798 | — | 115.0 | 57.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 14 | 5 | .720 | 1.2 | 88.8 | 55.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 11 | 8 | .596 | 3.5 | 117.1 | 96.3 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 10 | 7 | .591 | 3.8 | 77.1 | 64.2 |
| Kaline Drive | 11 | 8 | .584 | 3.8 | 71.3 | 60.2 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 9 | 9 | .515 | 5.1 | 70.6 | 68.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 7 | 10 | .439 | 6.4 | 64.1 | 72.5 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 8 | 11 | .441 | 6.5 | 70.7 | 79.7 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 8 | 10 | .424 | 6.7 | 70.9 | 82.6 |
| D.C. Balk | 7 | 11 | .371 | 7.7 | 85.5 | 111.3 |
A quick glance at the standings reveals that, if you take the league in 1.3 game chunks, we have four tiers of teams: The Elite, The Good, The Average, and the Victoriously Challenged. Let’s give each their due.
—- THE ELITE (within 1.3 games of the lead)—-
Cottage: W 1, L 1; 12 – 8. (.282, .370, .451; 12 ip, 6 er). Ok, let’s not panic. The Cheese’s lead in the standings grew, yes. A 12 – 8 run differential puts a team close to a .692 winning percentage — or a record of 100 – 44 the rest of the season, for a 114 – 48 final record. Yes, we know that. But the Cheese fell this weekend to a winning percentage under .800. That’s encouraging. And surely they can’t continue to run out a 3.09 team ERA, not having only one elite pitcher in Chris Archer. Aaron Hicks cannot keep OPSing 1.182, tucked neatly between Harper (1.340) and Trout (1.099). Right?
Peshastin: W 1, L 1; 11 – 9. (.250, .346, .485; 38IP, 14 ER.) I was talking with the Chief Allegheny on Friday, and we agreed that the worst thing is if there’s no pennant race. (Actually, I have to report, the Allegheny’s concurrence with this principle was not pure. He said there was one year he didn’t think the lack of a race was all that bad. I presume he meant the year the Allegheny’s won by just the slimmest margin… less than 20 games.) So our hopes are built on the Pears — who just lost Starling Marte for 80 games. Mitch Haniger has been filling in ably (.500, .600, .750 over the weekend), and Joey Gallo has stepped things up (.200, .429, .800 over the weekend), as has Devon Travis (.375, .375, .875). It would help if Danny Salazar and Jameson Taillon could quit coughing up 4 runs in 5 ip apiece.
(From elite Peshastin to the merely Good is a gap of about 1.4 Standings Chunks.)
—- The Good —-
Haviland: W 1, L 1; 15 – 14. (.326, .370, .791; 12.7 ip, 9 er). Only 7 Dragons batted over the weekend, producing only 46 PA, so I presume (without checking) they accumulated some replacement ABs. But oh, those seven! Geovany Soto went 0 for 3, and Zach Cozart only managed 1 for 4 with a double. Neil Walker reached an OPS of .952 with only a homer and a walk in 7 trips to the plate. The other 4 were all over 1.000, led by Anthony Rizzo (3 for 8 with a double, two homers, and walk.) Alas! Kavin Gausman stank: 5 er in 5.3 innings, as did 3 of the 5 relievers who tried to pick up the slack.
Flint Hill: W1, L 1; 11 – 8. (.267, .333, .417; 14 ip, 7 er). Daniel Murphy’s grand slam made the headlines out there in the mainstream media, but we don’t care about RBI’s in the EFL. Dan Straily’s 14 strikeouts in 7 innings also don’t phase us — well, unless you’re a Wolverine fan wondering how your team’s management could trade away Straily.
Kaline: W 1, L 1; 4 – 1. (.227, .246, .352; 24.3 ip, 3 er). Fantastic pitching saved the weekend in Kaline. Marcus Stroman allowed 1 er in 9 ip, Chris Anderson allowed none in 6 ip. And Michael Fulmer did well, too ( 7 ip, 2 er). On offense Aaron Judge hit a 460-foot homer which was as valuable to us as a 280-foot homer would have been. This kept Kaline in a near tie with its standings mates, three teams only 0.3 games apart.
—- The Average (exactly 1.3 games from the Good and the Victoriously Challenged) —-
Pittsburgh: W 0, L 2; 6 – 14. (.191,.257, .382; 9.7 ip, 8 er). Lance Lynn did his job (6 ip, 1 er) but the other four pitchers failed miserably, including a near-Royal Chulk by Jose Torres (0.33 ip, 3 er). This left the A’s at 9 – 9, although their .515 winning percentage reveals a trace of their historical excellence might still be present here.
—- The Victoriously Challenged (within 1.3 games of the bottom) —-
Old Detroit: W 1, L 1; 11 – 11. (.243, .357, .386; 12.3 ip, 8 er). Finally! The Wolverines are back in First Place. (Among the VC, that is.) This despite Madison Bumgarner’s treacherous dirt bike, Matt Moore’s latest meltdown (4 ip, 6 er), and Manny Machado’s hard slide and near- decapitation. And now Dan Vogelbach is bach! And Kolten Wong and Christian Yelich both went 2 for 2 with 2 walks Sunday!
Portland: W 1, L 1; 8 – 8. (.234,.347, .484; 11.3 ip, 5 er). The Rosebuds do not belong down here with us VC’s. Anthony Rendon should not be going 0 for the weekend. Yasiel Puig should do better than 1 for 8, and Carlos Correa than 1 for 9. Although that 1 was a homer… Still, the Rosebuds should break out any day now.
Canberra: W 2, L 0; 14 – 9. (.286, .405, .471; 8.7 ip, 4 er). The Kangaroos shouldn’t be down here, either, although they seem to have realized that on their own this weekend and decided to do something about it. EWIE Mark Reynolds continues his torrid hitting, going 3 for 9 with a double and a homer over the weekend to leave his season OPS at exactly 1.000. And the reason for the sudden Kangaroo surge? Have you seen the Balk lately?
D.C.: W 2, L 0; 17 – 14. (.348,, .423, .565; 20.3 ip, 13 er). On Saturday, Jharel Cotton, gave up 2 er in 6 ip, followed by spotless relief from Barraclough and Alex Wilson. This was enough to secure a win. On Sunday, Balkans Musgrove and Samardzija combined to ring up an ERA of 8.74 ( 11.3 ip. 11 er ). The Balk still won, thanks to a .439, .500, .780 team batting line led by Benintendi’s 5 for 5, and seven other hitters also OPSing over 1.000. This is a dangerous last place team. To those of us in the lower reaches of the standings, it feels like last place isn’t the usual cellar into which you quietly sink. It’s a big, barking, snarling dog who might be friendly but certainly doesn’t act like it. So there’s a sense of desperate urgency back here — nearly panic. Because there really is a monster down here at the end of this “book.”
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Baltimore Orioles | 12 | 5 | .706 | — |
| New York Yankees | 11 | 7 | .611 | 1.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 10 | 7 | .591 | 2 |
| Boston Red Sox | 11 | 8 | .579 | 2 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 10 | 10 | .500 | 3.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 7 | 10 | .439 | 4.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 5 | 13 | .278 | 7.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Washington Nationals | 13 | 5 | .722 | — |
| Miami Marlins | 10 | 8 | .556 | 3 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 9 | 9 | .500 | 4 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 8 | 10 | .424 | 5.4 |
| New York Mets | 8 | 11 | .421 | 5.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 7 | 11 | .371 | 6.3 |
| Atlanta Braves | 6 | 12 | .333 | 7 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Detroit Tigers | 10 | 8 | .556 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 10 | 8 | .556 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 9 | 9 | .515 | 0.7 |
| Chicago White Sox | 8 | 9 | .471 | 1.5 |
| Minnesota Twins | 8 | 10 | .444 | 2 |
| Kansas City Royals | 7 | 11 | .389 | 3 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cottage Cheese | 14 | 4 | .798 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 10 | 8 | .556 | 4.4 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 10 | 9 | .526 | 4.9 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 9 | 10 | .474 | 5.9 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 9 | 11 | .450 | 6.4 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 8 | 10 | .444 | 6.4 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 13 | 6 | .684 | — |
| Haviland Dragons | 11 | 8 | .596 | 1.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 11 | 8 | .584 | 1.9 |
| Oakland A’s | 10 | 9 | .526 | 3 |
| Texas Rangers | 9 | 10 | .474 | 4 |
| Seattle Mariners | 8 | 12 | .400 | 5.5 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 8 | 12 | .400 | 5.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Peshastin Pears | 14 | 5 | .720 | — |
| Colorado Rockies | 13 | 6 | .684 | 0.7 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 12 | 8 | .600 | 2.2 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 9 | 10 | .474 | 4.7 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 8 | 11 | .441 | 5.3 |
| San Diego Padres | 8 | 12 | .400 | 6.2 |
| San Francisco Giants | 6 | 13 | .316 | 7.7 |