Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

EFL Standings for 2017

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Cottage: W, 5 – (-1). (.250, .325, .500; 22.0 ip, 3 er). All three Cheese pitchers — three starters, including the soon-to-become Tornado Charlie Morton — come through in a pinch.  This was crucial because…

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Haviland: W, 14 – 4. (.344, .382, .906; 3.7 ip, 2 er)... the Dragonish offense got super-offensive yesterday, clouting 6 homers on the way to a blowout win. Former Wolverine Anthony Rizzo had two of the dingers, as did former Hagerstown Sun Stephen Souza.

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Pittsburgh: “W”, 2- 5. (.197, .267, .282; 1.3 ip, 1 er).  The Alleghenys did not keep up with the fireworks just above them in the standings.  Instead, over 44 plate appearances, their lineup showed all the symptoms of wolveritis. This would be an unfortunate turn of events for Allegheny fans, just as the team was emerging from exile to reassert its ancient claim to the EFL throne.

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Kaline: L, 2 – 6. (.213, .283, .319;  10 ip, 8 er). The Drive offense also showed signs of incipient wolverism, despite Michael Saunders’ homer and walk in three plate appearances.  This alarming event was compounded by Drive pitchers having a WORSE day than Wolverine hurlers yesterday (see below).

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Flint Hill: L, 1 – 4.  (.179, .172, .250; 1 ip, 0 er).  The Tornadoes apparently feel their opportunity slipping away.  They just traded Logan Forsythe  to the Cheese for Charlie Morton and Archie Bradley (effective June 1, of course). This was a brilliant deal, both for the beleaguered league leaders, but also for the now-fifth-place-but possibly-soon-eighth-place Tornadoes, who need a boost badly.

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Canberra:  W, 8 – 2. (.316, .366, .605; 15.7 ip,, 5 er).  Kangaroo management was in the EFL box seats at the ballpark in DC yesterday, whence he texted this photo of Wolverine prospect Rob Whalen warming up in the Seattle bullpen.

 

 Whalen didn’t get into the game, but Kangaroo Koda “Kid” Glover did, “closing” the game with a scoreless inning, and topping off a huge win for Canberra.  Jose Abreu (4 for 5 with a homer and a double) and Alex Bregman (3 for 4 with a homer and a double) also helped vault the ‘Roos past two of their rivals in a single bound.

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Portland: W, 5 – 4. (.241, .313, .517;  14.7 ip, 6 er). This is an ok day, nothing really wrong with it — just not big enough to prevent the ‘Roos from sailing past overhead.

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Peshastin: W, 7 – 6. (.289, .320, .609;  6 ip, 3 er). Ditto, although with a bit more hitting and a little less pitching.

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Old Detroit: L, 4 – 6. (.304, .360, .522; 11.7 IP, 8 ER). Jose Iglesias hit a homer, a double, and a single and got intentionally walked despite his sub-.600 OPS for the season. He led a contingent of P-WIES (Present Wolverine Infielders Excelling Somehow) who combined for all 7 of the W’s hits, all five of their extra bases, for a joint .467, .500, .750 batting line.  I left first baseman Josh Bell (0 for 6) and catchers Contreras and Hedges (0 for 2) out of the infield for narrative purposes. I left all the Wolverine outfielders out because none of them played: injured, demoted, or benched in MLB because they stink so bad, every single one of them.  Fortunately the pitchers were there to pick them up. Well, not the starters — Hill and Moore ran up a 7.20 ERA between them, 8 runs in 10 innings, with 8 strikeouts and 10 walks. Shane Greene was there for the team, though, with his 1.7 innings of shutout relief.  But our long nightmare is almost over — Rob Whalen is in the big leagues!  (Who’s Rob Whalen?  The guy almost no one has ever heard of who is going to be the wonder story of the 2017 season — a Fidrych or a Valenzuela for 2017; the Travis Story of relief pitchers — that kind of thing. Yeah, we’re desperate in Old Detroit.)

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DC: L, 3 – 12. (.292, .296, .333; 12.7 ip, 14 er).  Starters Gsellman and Hellickson tanked, combining for 11 innings and 10 earned runs.  Then fireman Sam Dyson came on in relief — and allowed four hits and three walks without retiring anybody!  It could have been much worse. Sharp-eyed Balk management noticed yesterday they weren’t getting stats for Anthony Swarzak.  I was alerted — not previously alert, mind you, only made alert by the query from the Balk — I was alerted, and corrected the error, adding 19.7 ip and 3 er to the team’s totals for May. Plus Swarzak was available to come in to relief Dyson. Coming in with the bases loaded and no one out (in his EFL manifestation), Swarzak retired the side without allowing anyone to score, and then pitched 2/3 more scoreless innings. By bringing in Swarzak’s stats (and his actual pitching last night), the Balk saved at least 9 runs from being scored against them this month.

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017