Tips for Shopping at the Wolverine Flea Market

Some of you have heard how I am thinking about selling some of my short term assets.  ‘Tis sad but true.

In fact, it’s so true that I have been practicing in that most vicious of negotiation settings: the used car market. My record in that venue is pretty impressive. Just before we were married Melanie watched me apply my negotiation skills as we were buying a Ranger pickup truck. I came away with one of the dealership’s pens thrown in for free. Four years ago we got our deal made, Melanie went home, and I came home in our new Mazda without the sunroof Melanie thought we were getting, and with a useless maintenance plan we’ve never successfully invoked to save us any money.

Every time I practice I get better.  A couple of weeks ago I sold my mom’s van for her on Craig’s List.   Sold it in 24 hours after the ad went up.  Melanie thought I gave the buyers an awfully good deal, but I was just warming up.

Last week the clutch on our Subaru went out; the estimate to fix it was $1700, and the Kelly Blue Book value of the car (with a working clutch) was in the vicinity 0f $2200. Yesterday we went car shopping.  Practically the first car Sam noticed was a “light yellow” (I hate yellow, but it’s really more of a Bruin-style Old Gold) 2000 BMW 323i.  It was “only” $4996, with no warranty. I say “only” because everything else sort of like it in age and miles was that much or higher.  We wanted something with fewer miles so we looked all day. In the end we came back and test drove the BMW — and here is where I got in some really good practice.

First, I kept a lid on Sam who was all keyed up about the car.  He only made gushing comments twice in the presence of the salesman. Second, when Melanie said “well, I’m sold” I got her to stop saying that. Third after I had blurted out “I don’t understand why it’s only $5000” I managed to tack on some goop about how there had to be something wrong with it, right?

By stifling all those unproductive comments, we got the salesman to bring the price down to $4796. Well, actually, Melanie did that. By asking. But later, when she was off to the bank to get a cashier’s check since we’d forgotten the check book, the salesman came back and said his manager had decided the price needed to be $4996.  I sat there quietly for a while, then I got up the nerve to object, saying Melanie was at the bank on the assumption of $4796 and it didn’t feel good to have the price pop back up $200 when we were already drawing money out of the bank for the lower price. And they came back down to $4796.

That was yesterday. Today I sold the crippled Subaru.  The dealer yesterday had offered $500 for trade in value for the Subaru sight unseen.  We turned that down. Today a local guy who deals in cars asked if I’d sell it for $500, knowing all about the clutch. I told him I had been thinking about $1000… well, actually, what I said was “I have been thinking more like $800 to  $1000.”  We settled this afternoon at $700.  I have the money in my pocket right now.  The pocket I got wet washing the Subaru.

So — watch out. Sure, if I say “why would you be willing to give up that great prospect for my rent-a-player” it MIGHT be an indication I am putty in your hands. If I say I’ll throw in “$500,000 or $1,000,000”,  you should ignore the number that favors you because… well, because.  If you want to know where the title is and I have to run upstairs and dig around in a file until Melanie finds it… that’s PROBABLY just a ruse to get you to think I hadn’t even thought about that part of the transaction until just that second.

And if you want a ride in the BMW… well, it does have a nice sun roof.  But you’d better arrange for the ride before whatever it is that’s wrong with the car breaks.  You’ll know that’s happened when I start calling the car “Schwarber.”  Nice German ring to it, don’t you think?