TGFF (Thank God for Finals)

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Canberra Kangaroos	14	8	.618	—	107.4	84.5
Cottage Cheese	15	10	.594	0.2	141.4	116.9
Kaline Drive	15	11	.578	0.6	134.5	115.0
Old Detroit Wolverines	13	10	.572	0.9	96.8	83.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes	12	11	.538	1.7	105.4	97.6
Brookland Outs	13	12	.537	1.7	130.9	121.6
Portland Rosebuds	12	11	.535	1.8	105.3	98.1
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	10	12	.466	3.3	119.3	127.6
D.C. Balk	10	12	.443	3.8	76.9	86.2
Peshastin Pears	9	14	.412	4.6	109.1	130.4
Haviland Dragons	11	15	.414	4.8	107.4	127.9

Canberra: “W”, 4 – 6. (.281, .303, .438; 6 ip, 4 er).    Speaking of politics, the Captain Kangaroo is a master. Under pressure yesterday from the Commissioner not to commence running away with the season just yet, the Captain managed to trim the ‘Roos’ winning percentage by 0.013 while dressing it up as a win, so as not to roil the Canberra fanbase with discontent.  I could sure use a little of that magic on the school board right now.

Which reminds me of one of my exam questions:

1. corrupt official
2. delegate
3. lobbyist
4. trustee
5. unfaithful elector

 

The official answer is “trustee”, but I don’t recall anyone calling us that on Tuesday evening at the board meeting.

Cottage: W, 7 – 4.  (.296, .387, .444; 2 ip. 2 er).   Now that I think of it, there are LOTS of ways our league connects with my politics exam. Consider this question:

7. People who enjoy the benefits of a positive externality without helping to pay for them are called what in political science? 

1. clients
2. dependents
3. moochers
4. free riders
5. unanticipated consequences of policy

In our case, Dave is the one whose work on our database is generating positive externalities aplenty, and we all are beneficiaries. But I hesitate to call us “free riders” (as my students hopefully will answer). Let’s just say, in the EFL, the correct answer is “EFL owner not named Dave.”

Kaline:  W 1, L 1; 17 – 12. (.314, .410, .627;  1 ip, 0 er).  Kaline’s AJ Minter was on the mound yesterday trying to earn his first major league save. With two out an the tying run on base, the batter blasted a ball toward deep right center.  Ender Inciarte, one of those mischievous Alleghenys, raced back to the wall and made as if he was going to leap to make a desperate attempt to rob a surefire homer. But then, at the last instant, with a devilish grin spreading across his face, he stopped at the base of the wall, reached back toward the grass, and easily caught the ball.  Minter’s heart stopped pounding, the Wizard’s heart stopped pounding, and the game (and Kaline’s grip on third place) was saved.

Old Detroit: W, 6 – 3. (.296, .377, .444; 11.7 ip, 4 er).  Trea Turner went 5 for 6 with a double, and Jeimer Candelario hit for the cycle  over the course of a double header (4 for 10 with a double, a triple and a homer) to lead the W’s to a W.  One of the beauties of these early season standings is all the fresh names atop the standings.  Maybe this year will be the end of the Ancient Regime of the Triumvirs (now the Duumvirs).  Assuming, of course, the right answer to this question…

9. Which of the following is the best political science definition of a “regime”?

1. an illegitimate government.
2. an evil or unpopular government.
3. an enemy government.
4. a stable governmental system.  
5.  the chain of command within a government

… is “d.”

Flint Hill: L, 7 – 9. (.296, .321, .667; 14.3 ip., 15 er).  Yikes!  That’s a lot of high ERA innings! Tyson Ross just almost threw a no hitter, but he got through only 4 innings with 4 earned runs.  Jeff Samardzija nearly chulked (3.7 ip, 6 er).  Tanner Scott did chulk (1 ip, 2 er).  A fine offensive day in which all 7 Tornado batters contributed, 5 of the OPSing 1.000 or better — all gone to waste. This surely a tragedy… but it’s not a tragedy of the commons, because, as my students can surely tell you, the right answer  to that one is…

18. Which of the following illustrates the idea of a Tragedy of the Commons?

1. the fate of a British government that has lost a vote of no confidence .
2. the suffering of the lower classes when members of the aristocracy abuse them.
3. the event in 1969 when National Guardsmen shot students on the campus of Kent State University.
4. a terrorist attack on the Parliament building in Ottawa, Canada.
5. what happens to students when professors all try to get students to put extra time into their classes.

… answer e.

Brookland: “L”, 4 – 0. (.263, .300, .395;  8 ip, 1 er). Jake Arrieta let only a earned run score in his 7 innings, making up for a lackluster day at the plate… although only ONE Out made nothing but outs.  That one Out was Manny Machado, the $17,750,000 man. One might wonder where the Superstar was while all his teammates were romping around the bases.  Perhaps we’d like to have a chance to get Manny to answer for his absence, but this wouldn’t be a “question time” because, according to question #21 on my exam, question time is one of the following:

1. the moment when a voter decides whom to vote for
2. an event where the prime minister answers questions in parliament
3. the stage in a trial when witnesses are called to the stand
4. the time in an appellate court case when the justices ask questions of the lawyers
5. the British term for “press conference.”

… and getting your superstar to explain his disappearance is not among the options.   Machado might be the opulent potentate of Brookland, but that’s not the same as being prime minister.

Portland: “L”, 4 – 2. (.220, .278, .380; 8 ip, 1 er). Jon Gray righted his listing ship Wednesday to go 6 scoreless innings. Mookie Betts put his team(s) on his back again with two homers in a single game.  You know, Portland looks a little lost right now. I spent all spring touting this team, so I am in a way disappointed.  Despite my efforts, the Rosebuds may lack a sense of political efficacy, which, of course, is (per question #17):

1. a person’s belief that she can influence what government does.
2. measurable success in winning elections.
3. the ability to undo what one’s predecessor did in office.
4. whether a new law works as intended
5. the capability of a nation’s military to get other nations to do what it wants without resorting to violence .

… answer a.

Pittsburgh: L, 12 – 16. (.367, .448, .592 — Happy Edgar Day!; 10.7 ip, 12 er — It’s Happy Edgar Days all around, on the A’s). I don’t know why so many people complain about Allegheny dominance of the league. Whom among us is more generous than the Branch Rickey of our league?  His hitters had a fantastic day at the plate, as did others in our league, but none of us outshone the Alleghenys in being equally generous to their opponents.

And while we are going this sympathy for the “devil” theme:  people in Pittsburgh must wonder why there’s been so much grumbling about the Duumvirs (formerly Triumvirs). Don’t people realize there’s an Iron Rule of Oligarchy? They should refer to question 14:

• The iron rule of oligarchy predicts which of the following?
  1. Decisions will always tend to get made by small groups of people.
  2. Democracies will ultimately become oligarchies.
  3. Dictatorships will ultimately collapse.
  4. Oligarchies always rule harshly.
  5. Tyranny cannot be sustained without the support of at least a small part of society.

Normally the right answer would be “a”, but in our league it just means that Pittsburgh or Haviland will always win.  It’s not their fault. It’s just the way it is.

DC: L, 2 – 7. (.195, .267, .341; 5.7 ip, 5 er) When I commented last week on how low scoring seems to be this season, apparently the Balk were listening.  That’s so heartwarming!  I am used to a lot of people in various arenas not listening.  But one result of listening to the Commissioner for the Balk is this: they are still content with a .600 daily OPS.  This is lunacy!  Sure, Ryan McMahon went 2 for 2 with 2 walks, and Brock Holt went 3 for 4 with a homer and double, and Aaron Altherr homered, too — but the other nine Balky hitters went 2 for 31.  But can’t you see how offenses have come to life like spring daffodils?

Perhaps you were confused. Perhaps you recognized what the Commissioner was spinning as a myth, and you knew the answer to question 6:

6. Which of the following is NOT true about political myths?   

1. they are stories we tell ourselves
2. they are always not true
3. they are one of the key elements in a political culture
4. we use them to explain why things are the way they are
5. they are part of our political socialization

Sure, the right answer is “b”.  But just because something isn’t always not true doesn’t mean it is never not true.

Peshastin: L, 8 – 9. (.343, .400, .600; 9.7 ip, 9 er).  The Pears slot in right between the Alleghenys and the Tornados in treating their opponent not only as they would want to be treated, but almost exactly as they actually were treated. Joey Gallo went 3 for 3 with a walk and no extra bases — I doubt he’s ever done that before.  JT Realmuto had 2 hits in 6 trips — but they were both homers.  I wonder if he’s ever done that before.  So Jameson Taillon had to practically chulk (3.7 ip, 7 er) to make things even because the Pears are run by a professional ethicist who is committed to treating people fairly.  And, as we all know the right answer to question 8,

8. The view of justice which concerns itself with whether people are getting their fair share of good things is called what?

1. criminal justice
2. distributive justice
3. procedural justice
4. rough justice
5. substantive justice

… “b” is the right answer.

Haviland: W 1, L 1; 9 – 14. (.222, .382, .370;  3.7 ip, 2 er).  The Dragons finally broke on through to the other side, somehow sneaking past the Pearish sheep dogs to take up a position in the basement.  Well, at least in terms of games behind — the standings tracker tracks us in terms of winning percentage, where the Pears are still the utmost in arrears.

I am worried about the Dragons’ fan base. After years as one of the EFL Oligarchs, and possessors of our trophy, things have gone very sour so far this year.  The Commissioner keeps calling the Dragons “Duumvirs”, the Alleghneys have repossessed the trophy, and how the Dragons are dragging along in (or very very near) last place. How miserable!

But don’t worry, dear Dragons. We empathize.  In fact, the EFL Commissioner developed (and made students learn about this year) his own concept for what you are going through: the notion of political misery.  As all of you know who have read the Commissioner’s book on terrorism, political misery is connected to tyranny, anarchy and the right answer to Question 2:

2.  Which of the following is among the three kinds of political misery, as we used that term in class?

1. autonomy
2. communism
3. corruption
4. nepotism
5. spoils system

But beyond tyranny, anarchy and corruption, I think another form of genuine misery is being unjustly imprisoned in a dank cell in the EFL basement when you are used to all the glory, deference, and indulgence of an EFL champion. If your unjust treatment endures for decades or generations, perhaps that, too, should be counted as political misery.  If I add persistent injustice to my list I will be sure to acknowledge the Dragons’ crucial contribution to this insight.

…

Ok, esteemed colleagues, I trust you to grade yourselves on this excerpt of my final exam. But I cannot extend this collegiality to my students.  The final exam is over, the last student has staggered out the door. I need to get back to grading now.

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Boston Red Sox	18	5	.783	—
Toronto Blue Jays	14	9	.609	4
New York Yankees	14	9	.609	4
Old Detroit Wolverines	13	10	.572	4.8
Flint Hill Tornadoes	12	11	.538	5.6
Tampa Bay Rays	9	13	.409	8.5
Baltimore Orioles	6	18	.250	12.5

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Mets	15	7	.682	—
Philadelphia Phillies	15	8	.652	0.5
Canberra Kangaroos	14	8	.618	1.4
Atlanta Braves	13	10	.565	2.5
D.C. Balk	10	12	.443	5.2
Washington Nationals	11	14	.440	5.5
Miami Marlins	7	17	.292	9

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Cleveland Indians	13	9	.591	—
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	10	12	.466	2.7
Detroit Tigers	10	12	.455	3
Minnesota Twins	8	11	.421	3.5
Chicago White Sox	5	16	.238	7.5
Kansas City Royals	5	17	.227	8

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Milwaukee Brewers	16	9	.640	—
St. Louis Cardinals	14	9	.609	1
Cottage Cheese	15	10	.594	1.1
Pittsburgh Pirates	13	11	.542	2.5
Brookland Outs	13	12	.537	2.6
Chicago Cubs	11	10	.524	3
Cincinnati Reds	5	19	.208	10.5

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	17	9	.654	—
Los Angeles Angels	16	9	.640	0.5
Kaline Drive	15	11	.578	2
Seattle Mariners	13	10	.565	2.5
Oakland A’s	13	12	.520	3.5
Haviland Dragons	11	15	.414	6.2
Texas Rangers	9	17	.346	8

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Arizona Diamondbacks	16	7	.696	—
Colorado Rockies	14	12	.538	3.5
Portland Rosebuds	12	11	.535	3.7
Los Angeles Dodgers	11	12	.478	5
San Francisco Giants	11	13	.458	5.5
Peshastin Pears	9	14	.412	6.5
San Diego Padres	9	17	.346	8.5