EDITOR’s NOTE: Most of this post was written on the train from Seattle to Oregon City yesterday, July 24. Amtrak promised wifi service, but none was delivered. So I couldn’t finish this on the train – it turns out my phone couldn’t generate a wifi hot spot while zooming from one cell tower to another.
I post this hastily on Wednesday morning to capture in amber a phenomenon increasingly rare in nature: the Wolverines in first place. I already have seen the W’s hitting on Tuesday (6 for 40 or so) and do not expect this snowball to last the morning on this hot July day. Enjoy the spectacle while you can!
My birthday is coming up on Monday. The Rosebuds have very graciously arranged for the Wolverines to make a cameo appearance in first place. Thank you for the present, Mark! It is warmly appreciated! You don’t have to let the W’s stay in first all the way until my actual birthday. This one day, in the beautiful Pacific Northwest 80-ish degree sunshine, riding the Coast Starlight back to Oregon from seeing my daughter and grandsons to seeing my youngest sons – this is more than generous already.
EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | |||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA | |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 62 | 40 | .606 | — | 478.8 | 383.2 | |
| Portland Rosebuds | 60 | 40 | .604 | 0.4 | 520.9 | 415.7 | |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 56 | 41 | .573 | 3.7 | 440.4 | 380.1 | |
| Brookland Outs | 56 | 43 | .561 | 4.8 | 520.0 | 461.5 | |
| Cottage Cheese | 55 | 44 | .555 | 5.4 | 515.9 | 457.9 | |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 51 | 48 | .517 | 9.1 | 523.7 | 510.0 | |
| Kaline Drive | 53 | 49 | .515 | 9.3 | 465.3 | 444.0 | |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 52 | 50 | .507 | 10.1 | 454.6 | 448.0 | |
| Peshastin Pears | 47 | 53 | .469 | 14 | 423.8 | 454.5 | |
| Haviland Dragons | 47 | 55 | .459 | 15 | 439.2 | 478.5 | |
| D.C. Balk | 39 | 58 | .405 | 20 | 402.4 | 490.2 | |
(Stats are for Monday’s games)
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Old Detroit: W 2, L 0; 14 – 2. (46 PA, .275, .348, .475; 7 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). The Wolverines have been in a very good place since the All-Star break: OPSing .811, most days coming in over .800, and compiling 39 innings with 10 er for an ERA of about 2.31. Allocation has helped a lot: DeSclafani and Richard have a combined July ERA of about 14.00, but they are the two Wolverine pitchers allocated at 0%. The W’s have gone 4 – 0 since the break, outscoring their foes 32.7 – 10, and have gained 3.4 games against the Rosebuds. This cannot last. Mallex Smith cannot continue to OPS at a 1.127 pace. Mallex and the Wolverines will come crashing (or maybe if we’re lucky gliding) down from this peak experience, and the real EFL pennant race will resume with the Wolverines in the role of the lovable but kind of nerdy also-ran, the boy next door who should get the girl but doesn’t.
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Portland: W 0, L 2; 4 – 8. (24 PA> .261, .346 .391; 5.7 ip, 5 er, 7.94 ERA) I suppose this makes the Rosebuds into the handsome, brilliant star athlete who does get the girl because what girl can resist that package? Their roster is jammed full of such types, but the pitching and the hitting has suddenly begun struggling. Gausman, for example, got knocked around Monday for 5 er in 4.7 innings. I don’t have any idea why they’re slumping, and despite the advertised free wifi, this Amtrak train’s connection is totally inaccessible so far, so I can’t look up anything. I am still mostly convinced the ‘Buds will be back before long:
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Canberra: W, 11 – 11. (41 PA, .359, .390, .641; 11 ip, 11 er, 9.00 ERA) The Kangaroos have had a pretty good month. Monday they had 7 hitters OPSing 1.000 or more, but also saw a good rotation (Kluber, Lucchesi, Mayza) get slammed for 9 earned runs in 10.7 innings. And then Seranthony Dominguez sextuple chulked. They have stemmed their slide toward the exits of the pennant race, and they have already shored up their pitching staff for the last two months of the season. I suppose the Kangaroos would be the other star athlete, this one with the quirky mystique of the Australian exchange student. You know, the kind of guy eagles land on in the outfield. “Why do birds follow you around…” Rats. I can’t remember how the rest of that Carpenters song goes.
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Brookland: W 2, L 0; 9 – 7. (46 PA, .179, .304, .359; no pitching) No more EFL typecasting! I’m already out of ideas that aren’t lame or creepy. OK, one more – the Outs are the new kid in town with the mysterious past but who is immediately moves into the starting lineup and nearly topples the pecking order.
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Cottage: W 1, L 1; 15 – 15. (42 PA, .297, .381, .649; 12.3 ip. 10 er). I suppose the Cheese would be Mr. Krabs who tries to woo the girl with extravagant spending – fine jewels, super-expensive Trout dinners – and who, when things don’t go swimmingly, complains to Spongebob about “spending all me hard-earned cash!” (But who, by the way, is still hanging around and having an excellent July).
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Pittsburgh: W 1, L 1; 14 – 15. (36 PA, .424, .472, .848; 5.3 ip 1 er, 1.69 ERA). What a great day to be an Allegheny!! There have been many, many, many such days in Allegheny history, but fewer than normal lately. Maikel Franco led the way with his 3 for 4 with 2 homers! Now that I have ignored my better judgment about the typecasting theme so thoroughly, I might as well cast the Alleghenys as the slightly older hunk who has already had romantic success with an incredible series of women. Now he’s a little jaded about the whole process and hasn’t yet shown that much interest in the woman of the hour. But all the other guys are afraid he might decide to make one more conquest.
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Kaline: W, 2 – 1. (38 PA. .250, .368, .344; 6 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Why didn’t I quit when I said I would? Why did I start this at all? If I don’t come up with roles for the rest of the league, they’ll be consigned to walk-on part without speaking lines. Let’s see: consider Trevor Williams, who cannily outpitched Corey Kluber with 6 shutout innings. This exemplifies the Wizard, who is the brainiest kid in the class whom the girls have so far foolishly passed over in favor of taller, shallower guys.
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Flint Hill: W 2, L 0; 24 – 14. (44 PA, .343, .432, .714; 1.7 ip, 2 er) He tries hard. He hocks his future to buy the snazziest car, and quickly learns a cruel lessen about how essential it is to just be one’s self. And then, at the last minute, after he has already ditched some of the glitzy stuff he had used to try to woo the woman, she suddenly smiles at him. (E.g., three guys get homers and doubles — Bauers, Khris Davis, Schoop.) Is it too late?
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Peshastin: W 0, L 2; 5 – 11. (20 PA, .300, .300, .350; 9.7 ip. 5 er) Only 20 plate appearances? How is that going to get it done? I’m not sure Phil is paying enough attention… but then, he’s the only one (as far as I know) who is successfully actually getting the girl at the moment.
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Haviland: W 2, L (-1); 8 – (-7). (32 PA, .143, .242, .143; 8 ip, 1 er). Haviland is the guy who won the girl in the previous movie but, for some sad, unclear reason, is pining for the prize again this time. But it’s a much rougher go this time around – perhaps issues left over from the previous relationship are handicapping him? There are signs of hope (eg. Sean Newcomb going 6 innings with only 1 earned run) – can he build on them for a brighter future?
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DC: L, 3 – 8. (39 PA, .324, .359, .486; 6 ip, 3 er). What can I say? The Balk is the librarian. Even when Matt Chapman goes 3 for 5 with a homer, how is the librarian going to get the girl’s attention? Of course, the librarian eventually figures it out and/or gets spotted by a smart woman, but this usually takes more than two or three seasons to work out.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Boston Red Sox | 71 | 31 | .696 | — |
| New York Yankees | 63 | 35 | .643 | 6 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 62 | 40 | .606 | 9.2 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 51 | 49 | .510 | 19 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 52 | 50 | .507 | 19.3 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 46 | 53 | .465 | 23.5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 28 | 73 | .277 | 42.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 56 | 41 | .573 | — |
| Atlanta Braves | 54 | 43 | .557 | 1.6 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 55 | 44 | .556 | 1.6 |
| Washington Nationals | 49 | 50 | .495 | 7.6 |
| Miami Marlins | 43 | 59 | .422 | 15.1 |
| New York Mets | 40 | 57 | .412 | 15.6 |
| D.C. Balk | 39 | 58 | .405 | 16.3 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 54 | 45 | .545 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 51 | 48 | .517 | 2.8 |
| Minnesota Twins | 45 | 53 | .459 | 8.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 43 | 59 | .422 | 12.5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 35 | 64 | .354 | 19 |
| Kansas City Royals | 30 | 69 | .303 | 24 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago Cubs | 58 | 41 | .586 | — |
| Brookland Outs | 56 | 43 | .561 | 2.5 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 57 | 45 | .559 | 2.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 55 | 44 | .555 | 3.1 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 52 | 49 | .515 | 7 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 50 | 50 | .500 | 8.5 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 44 | 56 | .440 | 14.5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 66 | 36 | .647 | — |
| Seattle Mariners | 60 | 40 | .600 | 5 |
| Oakland A’s | 58 | 43 | .574 | 7.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 53 | 49 | .515 | 13.5 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 50 | 51 | .495 | 15.5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 47 | 55 | .459 | 19.2 |
| Texas Rangers | 42 | 59 | .416 | 23.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 60 | 40 | .604 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 56 | 44 | .560 | 4.4 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 55 | 46 | .545 | 5.9 |
| Colorado Rockies | 53 | 46 | .535 | 6.9 |
| San Francisco Giants | 51 | 50 | .505 | 9.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 47 | 53 | .469 | 13.6 |
| San Diego Padres | 42 | 61 | .408 | 19.9 |