League Updates

Baseball, Apple Pie, and Political Science

I regret to inform you there will be no apple pie on today’s menu.  I have recently received word that my hemoglobin A1c exists, and is “elevated” into the “prediabetic range.”  I attribute this to my skill at taking tests, but the doctor seems to think it reflects some sort of reality. (Perhaps you were thinking of my six-month-long chocolate binge?) So she has told me to “work on significant reduction in… carbohydrate intake including sugar, bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, and corn products” — essentially eliminating my entire diet. Except chocolate.

(No, it’s not on the list.  Read it again: sugar, bread….  Not one word about chocolate. You know the rules of construction: if the author of a document makes a list, by implication anything not on the list is excluded. It’s legally impossible for me to become diabetic from eating chocolate, since it’s not on the list.)

Not all is is lost.  Melanie knew about a thing called “cauliflower rice” which, it turns out, is by far the best use of nature’s sheetrock. I actually liked it!  Just add a little chocolate…

Since I still have substantial stockpiles of breakfast cereal, and don’t know how to eat anything else for breakfast (other than toast, bagels, pancakes, cupcakes, waffles, english muffins, regular muffins, and chocolate chip cookies), I have already had a bowl of carbohydrates today. Apple pie is off limits.

But baseball and political science?  Plenty of that to go around today.

Let’s start with some political science:  MLB has undergone All-Star balloting electoral reform!  They’ve been using a plurality decision rule, where whoever gets the most votes gets to be an All Star Game starter.  Now they are going to a modified run-off model, where the top three vote getters at each position  in the “primary” round face off in a second-round of voting.

Among political scientists, the plurality voting system (the same we use for most elections here in the US) gets a lot of criticism, especially for two reasons:  1.) in races with more than 2 candidates, the plurality voting system often produces a winner who was opposed by the majority; and 2) plurality voting propels the entrenchment of a two-party system.

We don’t want two dominant parties in our league.  We want everyone to have a chance.  A run-off election system is a good move in that direction.

You can check out the new ASG voting here.  I did. Here are my results FOR THE EFL, so I only considered EFL players.

If I had to pick the EFL All-Star lineups today, who would I pick?

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American League

C Santana    M Chavis       M Chapman   J Polanco      J Gallo       A Meadows    M Trout        G Sanchez     D Vogelbach
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National League
     J Bell         M Moustakas   A Rendon        N Ahmed      C Bellinger   J Pederson    H Renfroe      W Contreras
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You will notice how careful I was not to favor Wolverines.  The W’s are in fourth place, so I only elected four W’s to the All-Star team.  If I could include former EFL players, former Wolverine Christian Yelich  would replace someone in the National League outfield, for example, and Ketel Marte night sneak in at second base.
I encourage each of you to weigh in, if you like, on who the EFL All-Stars are so far.  I suspect some of you will disagree with me, even as the League Commissioner, because I have done such a poor job of establishing a proper authoritarian democracy.  But at least I can count on you not be so inane as to feel  “like you have to vote for a Yankee” like Will Leitch does.  In our polity you can vote for whomever you want, even if Mr. Leitch doesn’t grasp that notion.
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EFL Standings for 2019

EFL
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB RS RA
Portland Rosebuds 37 20 .649 349.8 257.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes 36 19 .649 0.3 361.5 265.8
Canberra Kangaroos 32 24 .574 4.3 321.2 276.7
Old Detroit Wolverines 31 24 .563 5 318.9 275.7
Peshastin Pears 30 27 .529 6.8 292.5 275.9
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 28 27 .510 7.9 259.2 253.6
Kaline Drive 29 28 .507 8.1 235.7 231.3
Haviland Dragons 25 32 .439 11.9 267.2 301.8
Bellingham Cascades 24 31 .436 12 267.4 307.1
Cottage Cheese 23 31 .430 12.3 268.8 309.4
Brookland Outs 22 32 .414 13.2 260.4 311.7
D.C. Balk 21 35 .368 15.9 239.0 313.5
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Portland: W, 8 – 4. (21 PA, .350, .381, .550; 6 ip, 2 er) Chase Anderson was good enough to get the Rosebuds a win Thursday, but “good enough” isn’t good enough in Portland. His 5 ip, 2 er were an embarrassment to Rosebud brass.  Anderson is a child fit to be left behind. Or traded for Brad Hand, according to this morning’s announcement. Some people think immigration should be based on merit. The Rosebuds are waaay ahead of them.  Portland believes in emigration based on (lack of) merit.
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Flint Hills: W 1, L (-1); 8 – 0. (24 PA, .524, .583, .952; 7 ip, 6 er, 7.71 ERA). Adalberto Mondesi, son of Raul, went 3 for 3 with a homer and a walk to lead the Tornado attack. Nepotism! The mark of a corrupted polity. The Tornado team teems with it, or the appearance of it. Tyler Mahle is Greg Mahle’s little brother.  There are two Barneses on the team; Austin is also Mike Gallegos’ nephew. Derek Dietrich is Steven Demeter’s grandson.  Mike Trout: isn’t he Steve Trout’s son, Dizzy Trout’s grandson? I know Baseball Reference says Mike is the son of Jeff, but does that seem likely, considering Jeff never got out of the minor leagues?
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You still doubt the Tornados’ commitment to nepotism?  Look at the top of our league.  A tiny elite, with one requirement for admission. The test you have to pass is a DNA test. Those two teams in tight orbit around each other, never more than a game apart.  And they don’t let anyone else come close!  Isn’t the EFL a democracy?  I mean, we re-elect our Commissioner every year, we vote on rules. How can this elitist, aristocratic oligarchy have any place in our polity?
Canberra: L, 5 – 7.  (24 PA, .190, .280, .476;  no pitching).
Old Detroit: DNP, 1 – 6. (34 PA, .313, .353, .531;  3.3 ip, 6 er, 16.20 ERA).  No, the Kangaroo/Wolverine cluster is not another snobby nepotistic oligarchy.  First of all, you can’t be an oligarchy if you aren’t ruling anything.  We’re just a little family scratching out an existence and tending to our wounded, like the wounded psyche of of Yusei Kikuchi, who came harrowingly close to chulking yesterday with his 3.3 ip, 6 er performance.  Also, that and being a Mariner pitcher sent repeatedly to be slaughtered… it’s too much for one person to manage without the support of family.
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Peshastin: L, 4 – 7.  (12 PA, .200, .333, .200; no pitching). The Pears appear to still be feeling the effects of jet lag. Only three hitters showed up! With the team’s leader away, it looks like standards of diligence have sagged badly. Anarchy fails again.
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Pittsburgh: L, 3 – 6.  (17 PA, .188, .235, .375;  no pitching).  Nearly the same in Pittsburgh, whose leadership has also been traveling.
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Kaline: DNP, (-1) – 0.  (17 PA, .125, .300, .125; no pitching).  Three in a row like this! Did the Wizard travel in May, too, without notifying the league office?
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Haviland: W (-1), L 1; (-3) – 4. (22 PA, .182, .182, .273; 4.3 ip, 6 er, 12.46 ERA).  Maybe the Dragons would have been better off with no pitching, like their neighbors.
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Bellingham: W, 2 – (-1). (20 PA, .263 .300, .368;  6 ip, 1 er, 1.50 ERA).  A nice pitching performance from Dakota Hudson, who is obviously so much better than Yusei Kikuchi (and the other three Wolverine pitchers who got torched on Wednesday).
Cottage: DNP, 3 – 0. (15 PA, .462, .533, .769; no pitching). If you are only going to  get 15 PA from four batters, these are pretty good PA to get. All four batters (Moncada, Ramos, Thames and Verdug0) OPSed 1.000 or better.
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Brookland: DNP, (-1) – (-4). (30 PA, .286, .333, .393; 9 ip, 2 er, 2.00 ERA). Charlie Morton delivered 7 solid innings with only 2 earned runs allowed.
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DC: W, 9 – 8. (15 PA, .538, .600, 1.077 (!!); 6 ip, 5 er, 7.50 ERA).  Perfectly replacement level pitching, but outstanding hitting from Kole Calhoun, Ryan McMahon , and Ryan O’Hearn.  Willians Astudillo was 0 for 1, so he didn’t really help.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2019
AL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
New York Yankees 36 19 .655
Flint Hill Tornadoes 36 19 .649 0.3
Tampa Bay Rays 35 19 .648 0.5
Old Detroit Wolverines 31 24 .563 5
Boston Red Sox 29 27 .518 7.5
Toronto Blue Jays 21 35 .375 15.5
Baltimore Orioles 17 39 .304 19.5
NL East
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Philadelphia Phillies 33 23 .589
Canberra Kangaroos 32 24 .574 0.9
Atlanta Braves 30 26 .536 3
New York Mets 27 29 .482 6
Washington Nationals 24 32 .429 9
D.C. Balk 21 35 .368 12.4
Miami Marlins 19 35 .352 13
AL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Minnesota Twins 37 18 .673
Pittsburgh Alleghenys 28 27 .510 8.9
Cleveland Indians 28 28 .500 9.5
Chicago White Sox 27 29 .482 10.5
Bellingham Cascades 24 31 .436 13
Detroit Tigers 21 32 .396 15
Kansas City Royals 19 37 .339 18.5
NL Central
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Chicago Cubs 31 23 .574
Milwaukee Brewers 32 25 .561 0.5
Pittsburgh Pirates 27 28 .491 4.5
St. Louis Cardinals 27 28 .491 4.5
Cincinnati Reds 26 30 .464 6
Cottage Cheese 23 31 .430 7.8
Brookland Outs 22 32 .414 8.7
AL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Houston Astros 37 20 .649
Oakland A’s 29 27 .518 7.5
Kaline Drive 29 28 .507 8.1
Texas Rangers 27 27 .500 8.5
Los Angeles Angels 27 29 .482 9.5
Haviland Dragons 25 32 .439 12
Seattle Mariners 24 35 .407 14
NL West
TEAM WINS LOSSES PCT. GB
Los Angeles Dodgers 38 19 .667
Portland Rosebuds 37 20 .649 1
Peshastin Pears 30 27 .529 7.9
San Diego Padres 29 27 .518 8.5
Colorado Rockies 28 27 .509 9
Arizona Diamondbacks 28 29 .491 10
San Francisco Giants 22 33 .400 15