I did the Baseball Prospectus stats update, and updated the standings, before my noon class, and spent 75 minutes talking about Con Law while my subconscious processed the question “What is today’s EFL update going to be about?” When I got back after class I noticed I had the following email (name changed in my usual diligence to protect fellow EFL owners from being embarrassed by their own behavior):
|
6:08 AM (8 hours ago)
|
 |
||
|
||||
I’ve got time at 11 this morning to do the stats update of that would be helpful. You know I’m eager now that I’m .5 games back…but if you are wanting to do it then that is fine.
—
[Name Redacted], PhD
Xxxxxx Xxx University
Of course I did not give in to this kind of thing. The last thing anyone wants is an EFL owner with uncontrolled rampant conflicts of interests doing updates. Maybe if he had sent the email at a more civilized hour… As far as I know he was up all night, unable to manage his emotions, until finally at 6:08 AM he couldn’t restrain himself any further!!! (pant! pant!)
So now I have a few minutes to write an update. Let’s see if God was merciful, allowing this poor man to be released from his sleep-depriving torments.
EFL Standings for 2019
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Portland Rosebuds | 101 | 55 | .646 | — | 985.5 | 728.3 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 101 | 56 | .642 | 0.5 | 972.2 | 721.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 91 | 66 | .579 | 10.4 | 908.1 | 770.6 |
| Peshastin Pears | 86 | 70 | .551 | 14.8 | 821.2 | 743.8 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 85 | 71 | .544 | 16 | 818.7 | 734.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 81 | 75 | .521 | 19.6 | 885.8 | 842.8 |
| Kaline Drive | 78 | 78 | .499 | 22.9 | 762.0 | 764.1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 78 | 79 | .496 | 23.4 | 869.1 | 879.6 |
| Cottage Cheese | 73 | 83 | .471 | 27.4 | 880.7 | 930.0 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 65 | 91 | .418 | 35.6 | 704.3 | 840.1 |
| Brookland Outs | 63 | 93 | .406 | 37.5 | 732.9 | 882.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 62 | 95 | .393 | 39.6 | 677.9 | 844.9 |
Nope. He’s right where he was yesterday.
.
I guess God is expressing mercy by limiting this man’s suffering to a week, max.
.
Portland: W, 8 – 2. (47 PA, .391, .396, .696; 14.7 ip, 5 er, 3.07 ERA)
The sleeping Rosebush awoke with a vengeance Sunday, taking no prisoners — nor any walks! — on the way to a big, badly needed win.
.
Flint Hill: W, 5 – 0. (37 PA, .294, .351, .294; 16.3 ip, 1 er, 0.55 ERA).
The Tornados also put on an impressive show, especially in pitching, where Miles Mikolas spun 7.7 sterling innings with only 1 earned run… and six relievers twirled 8.7 more with NO earned runs. They needed something stunning like this to keep pace with the Rosebuds.
.
Old Detrot: W, 7 – 6. (56 PA, .224, .321, .449; 11 ip, 6 er, 4.91 ERA)
Yeah, more of the same. This league is bad for my soul sometimes, so envious I get about Rosebud hitting and Tornado pitching…
.
Peshastin: W, 8 – 3. (42 PA, .314, .429, .743; 1 ip, 0 er, 0 era)
… or even Peshastin hitting. Now I have to wonder whether the Pears will pass the W’s, even though they’re still 4 games back!
.
Pittsburgh: W, 4 – 0. (35 PA, .233, .343, .333; 12 ip, 4 er, 3.000 ERA).
Jurickson Profar has had another disappointing season, running a .706 OPS so far. But Sunday he led the Alleghenys with a homer, a double, and a single in four trips to the plate.
.
Haviland: “L”, 14 – 13. (33 PA, .414, .485, .897; 21 ip, 17 er, 7.29 ERA)
It was almost like the Dragons were playing themselves. Dragon hitters clobbered pitchers; Dragon pitchers got clobbered by hitters. They’re almost a perfect match for each other.
.
Kaline: W, 6 – 2. (53 PA, .208, .283, .479; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA).
The Drive moved even closer to the perfect .500 record. It took 5 batters OPSing over 1.000, four of them clouting homers (O. Arcia, K Farmer, A Judge, AJ Pollock).
.
Canberra: L, 6 – 7. (49 PA, .289, .347, .578; 5 ip 3 er, 5.50 ERA).
The Kangaroos matched the Drive offense, at least, but not the pitching. So they slipped a little off the .500 pace. Not irrecoverably, but the path now is distinctly if slightly uphill.
.
Cottage: W, 14 – 0 !! (30 .464, .500, 1.036; 5 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA).
The biggest, baddest, best day of any EFL team Sunday happened at the Cottage. Eight Cheeses came on the Cheese plate. Seven of them OPSed over 1.000, from Wilson Ramos’ 1.167 to Francisco Mejia and Eric Thames’ 2.500. Luis Severion fired 5 scoreless innings. The Head Cheese looks at this and asks “where has this been all season?” I look at this and ask “Why can’t my team ever do this?”
.
Bellingham: L, 2 – 4. (14 PA, .167, .286, .250; 4.3 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA)
With the Cheese zooming away, the Cascades have settled into their autumnal dormancy. Is snow falling in the higher elevations yet?
.
Brookland: “L”, 5 – 4. (15 PA, .267, .267, .800; 7.3 ip, 2 er, 2.45 ERA)
Jose Martinez blasted a pinch-hit triple for the rare 4.000 OPS. He and Bellinger and Jones did all the work to make the narrow win possible, along with some decent pitching by Keuchel and Vincent.
.
DC: L, 1 – 3. (35 PA, .167, .286. .233; 6 ip, 2 er, 3.oo ERA)
Too bad there wasn’t some hitting, given the nice job Trevor Williams and Jarlin Garcia did from the mound.
.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2014
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| New York Yankees | 102 | 55 | .650 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 101 | 56 | .642 | 1.1 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 92 | 64 | .590 | 9.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 91 | 66 | .579 | 11.1 |
| Boston Red Sox | 81 | 74 | .523 | 20 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 63 | 93 | .404 | 38.5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 51 | 105 | .327 | 50.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Atlanta Braves | 96 | 61 | .611 | — |
| Washington Nationals | 85 | 69 | .552 | 9.5 |
| New York Mets | 81 | 74 | .523 | 14 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 79 | 75 | .513 | 15.5 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 78 | 79 | .496 | 18.1 |
| D.C. Balk | 62 | 95 | .393 | 34.3 |
| Miami Marlins | 54 | 101 | .348 | 41 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Minnesota Twins | 96 | 60 | .615 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 92 | 64 | .590 | 4 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 85 | 71 | .544 | 11.1 |
| Chicago White Sox | 68 | 87 | .439 | 27.5 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 65 | 91 | .418 | 30.7 |
| Kansas City Royals | 57 | 100 | .363 | 39.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 46 | 109 | .297 | 49.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 89 | 67 | .571 | — |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 86 | 70 | .551 | 3 |
| Chicago Cubs | 82 | 74 | .526 | 7 |
| Cottage Cheese | 73 | 83 | .471 | 15.6 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 73 | 83 | .468 | 16 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 65 | 91 | .417 | 24 |
| Brookland Outs | 63 | 93 | .406 | 25.7 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 102 | 54 | .654 | — |
| Oakland A’s | 94 | 62 | .603 | 8 |
| Haviland Dragons | 81 | 75 | .521 | 20.8 |
| Kaline Drive | 78 | 78 | .499 | 24.1 |
| Texas Rangers | 75 | 81 | .481 | 27 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 70 | 86 | .449 | 32 |
| Seattle Mariners | 66 | 90 | .423 | 36 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 101 | 55 | .646 | — |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 100 | 56 | .641 | 0.8 |
| Peshastin Pears | 86 | 70 | .551 | 14.8 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 80 | 76 | .513 | 20.8 |
| San Francisco Giants | 75 | 81 | .481 | 25.8 |
| San Diego Padres | 70 | 86 | .449 | 30.8 |
| Colorado Rockies | 67 | 89 | .429 | 33.8 |
Oh sure, in my desire to ease your burden I get portrayed as a deviant owner. That hurts! As if a 17-3 record this month is hard enough to believe, you cast aspersions on my character. Don’t give the Rosebuds fodder (true or not!) to ask for a recount if indeed the Tornadoes prevail after this week is over. The on thing I know about life is that little brothers (or is it older brothers?) need no help thinking their sibling is somehow getting an unfair advantage. Who cares if my ERA this month is a full two runs lower than my season ERA? Who notices that my best hitter this month is a guy named Luis Arraez while other well-known players named Trout and Baez have been shelved by injuries? Surely nothing sinister is happening here!