It’s July 4th and Newberg mayor Rick Rogers, and his city council, banned fireworks this year due to the extreme heat. It appears the he may have also done so in the EFL.
Nearly all EFL teams have played at least half of their allotted 162 games. There are not a lot of fireworks at the top of the standings, with the Wolverines maintaining a strong 5+ game lead over the challengers, despite a few days spent a little closer to first by the like of the Balk, Pears and Drive. Except in the race for second place, where there are now 3 teams in a virtual tie (.005 percentage points separate the three teams – Pears, Tornadoes and Drive), and one team (Balk) whose winning percentage is better but who has played 6 fewer games than OD and so is a similar 5+ games behind.
If each team in the EFL was a type of firework, what would we each be?
EFL Standings for 2021
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 60 | 24 | .711 | — | 491.0 | 312.4 |
| D.C. Balk | 52 | 26 | .662 | 5.1 | 441.3 | 317.3 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 54 | 30 | .646 | 5.4 | 410.7 | 305.0 |
| Peshastin Pears | 53 | 29 | .648 | 5.6 | 398.9 | 300.9 |
| Kaline Drive | 54 | 30 | .643 | 5.7 | 450.3 | 338.7 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 48 | 30 | .610 | 9.1 | 397.9 | 322.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 50 | 34 | .595 | 9.7 | 410.1 | 351.9 |
| Cottage Cheese | 44 | 40 | .529 | 15.3 | 475.2 | 461.8 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 42 | 40 | .513 | 16.6 | 414.3 | 401.7 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 39 | 43 | .482 | 19.2 | 333.2 | 347.7 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 35 | 47 | .429 | 23.5 | 410.8 | 479.2 |
Neighborhood Aerial Firework Category
Each neighborhood has the home known to light beautiful fireworks shooting into the sky while everyone else oohs and aahs and wishes they had fireworks half as awesome.
Old Detroit: W, 4-2; 48PA, 6.7IP
| AVG: 0.238 | OBP: 0.313 | SLG: 0.405 | OPS: 0.717 |
| ERA: 1.34 | WHIP: 0.746 |
The Wolverines are the only team in this category, known by all the neighbors to have the nicest fireworks and the rest of the neighborhood unsure of where to get similar mortars or if they could even afford them. Even on a day like yesterday, where the hitting was just ok, they managed to create even more distance between themselves and the second place teams. Tommy Edman went 2 for 5 with 2 doubles, and Carlos Correa added on a home run and two walks, but not much else happened worth noting. The pitchers threw well, with Ross Stripling getting the bulk of the innings (5.7) and giving up only one earned run.
Colorful Fountain Category
Most of the oohs and aahs in a typical neighborhood firework display come from fountains, known to last a long time (in terms of firework lifespan) and to have many different colors and schemes. These are neat, but not amazing.
DC: “W,” 7-7, 41PA, .7IP
| AVG: 0.389 | OBP: 0.439 | SLG: 0.583 | OPS: 1.022 |
| ERA: 12.86 | WHIP: 4.286 |
There were some fireworks from the Balk batters yesterday, along with a dud from the mound. Generally speaking, though, the Balk have been a steady fountain this season, sometime strong and beautiful, sometimes a little weaker, but then returning to strength a moment later. Two Balk batters (Matt Chapman and Asdrubal Cabrera) had three hits apiece, and three batters (Xander Bogaerts, Santiago Espinal and Ryan McMahon) had two hits apiece. Bryce Harper and Espinal both added home runs in an attempt to push the Balk to victory. But not enough pitching (and what there was bad) caused them to finish tied (though earning a database win).
Flint Hill: “L,” 7-4; 50PA, 14IP
| AVG: 0.256 | OBP: 0.360 | SLG: 0.442 | OPS: 0.802 |
| ERA: 3.86 | WHIP: 1.000 |
The Tornadoes are the steady fountain that is enjoyable, but lasts so long that people wish it would be done before it is even over. For what seems to be about 1,000 days the Tornadoes have been about 5 games back of the Wolverines, and even after a good day (better than the stats above due to allocations), nothing much happened. Tim Anderson collected two doubles, Sean Murphy collected three singles, and Enrique Hernandez and Tyler Naquin each added a home run. Two relievers each added one inning with no runs, but Yu Darvish surrendered 4 runs in 6 innings.
Peshastin: L, 0-12; 37PA, 3IP
| AVG: 0.176 | OBP: 0.243 | SLG: 0.176 | OPS: 0.420 |
| ERA: 15.00 | WHIP: 2.667 |
The Pears are the fountain that is, for one moment, a brilliant display of pyrotechnic wonder and the next moment, a dud emitting merely sparks and puffs of smoke. This back and forth display is exciting for those who watch, though maddening for its owner. Yesterday the Pears were puffs of smoke and that’s about it. The team only got on base 9 times in nearly 40 plate appearances, and Ozzie Albies had two of the teams 6 total hits. The pitching was even worse, with two relievers coughing up 5 runs in 2 innings, though Yimi Garcia and his 0 runs in one inning tried to offer a glimpse of beauty. The Pears lost almost an entire game off the leading Wolverines yesterday.
Kaline: L, 4-8; 66PA, .7IP
| AVG: 0.241 | OBP: 0.364 | SLG: 0.389 | OPS: 0.753 |
| ERA: 0.00 | WHIP: 2.857 |
The Drive are the massive fountain that emits a truly voluminous display of colorful sparks, almost so much you get lost in the sheer amount and miss the small beauty of each spark. Among yesterday’s 66 total plate appearances, 7 different batters collected at least one hit. Aaron Judge added a home run, as did Jonathan Schoop. The team also earned 11 total walks. But perhaps you missed the truly awesome day that Omar Narvaez had – 5 for 6! It is not often that a player gets five hits, and Omar did just that (even though they were all singles). Only one pitcher appeared of 2/3 of an inning – Darwinzon Hernandez, and didn’t surrender a run.
Cool Packaging Category
Some fireworks come in the most amazing packaging. Crafted to look like a swarm of bees, or a tank, or even a motorcycle with two working wheels. They look really good, but most of the time they do not perform as well as one would expect.
Canberra: W, 6-2; 31PA, 7.7IP
| AVG: 0.233 | OBP: 0.258 | SLG: 0.567 | OPS: 0.825 |
| ERA: 1.17 | WHIP: 1.039 |
The Kangaroos jumped over the Dragons (no small feat, that) on the strength of great pitching and decent hitting. Last month Canberra took on an enormous amount of replacement at bats which skewed their otherwise good month. This month, thus far, they are about league average in terms of replacement at bats, and things are so far trending upward for them. Yesterday Eric Haase was almost the entire offense, collecting two home runs and a single. Manuel Margot added his own home run that cleared the LF fence by about one inch. The pitching was, as has been the case lately, very good. After leading the EFL in team ERA for the month of June, Jake Odorizzi and James Karinchak tossed 7.7 innings giving up a combined 1 run.
Haviland: L, 0-9; 51PA, 6IP
| AVG: 0.106 | OBP: 0.176 | SLG: 0.149 | OPS: 0.325 |
| ERA: 9.00 | WHIP: 1.833 |
Some days you wish for all replacement innings and plate appearances, and this was one of those days for the Dragons. This performance was truly abysmal on both sides of the game. The batters collected 5 total hits, one of them a triple for JT Realmuto. The other 4 hits were singles. Surprisingly, the batters only whiffed 11 times, which means they put the ball in play, but just right at people. The pitching was also very bad, with both pitchers giving up a run for every inning they pitched – Tarik Skubal gave up 5 in 5 innings, and Joe Barlow gave up 1 in 1.
The Three Seconds of Glory Category
There are fireworks that look really cool and do something really cool, but last only 3 seconds. The teams in this category have flashes of brilliance but haven’t (yet) sustained it for a long enough time to move into a higher category.
Cottage: “L,” 1-0; 44PA, 14.4IP
| AVG: 0.211 | OBP: 0.318 | SLG: 0.289 | OPS: 0.608 |
| ERA: 1.88 | WHIP: 0.694 |
The Cheese owner must be positively beaming over that pitching line! For a team that has been in the bottom of the league in pitching 2 of the first 3 months, that line is something the Cheese fans hope becomes regular (which is difficult to become when Cheese is involved). Alex Cobb had the best performance, tossing 7.7 innings and giving up only 1 run. Taijuan Walker did his best to keep up, giving up two runs in 5.7 innings. Brandon Nimmo returned to collect 3 hits, and Shohei Ohtani prepared for the home run derby by earning 3 walks. A resurgent Abraham Toro added a home run, seemingly the only run the Cheese could muster.
Pittsburgh: L, 5-8; 36PA, 9.4IP
| AVG: 0.294 | OBP: 0.333 | SLG: 0.412 | OPS: 0.745 |
| ERA: 7.66 | WHIP: 2.234 |
Pittsburgh defeated itself yesterday, getting enough runs to most often win, but surrendering too many runs to make a win possible. Dominic Smith collected three hits, including a double, and Trevor Larnach went 2 for 2 with a home run. Bu Cody Ponce gave up 5 runs in 1.7 innings, and Kyle Muller have up 3 in 5.7 innings, and those 8 runs were too many to overcome.
Bellingham: W, 6-(-2); 38PA, 12.3IP
| AVG: 0.258 | OBP: 0.395 | SLG: 0.419 | OPS: 0.814 |
| ERA: 2.20 | WHIP: 1.138 |
The Cascades got great pitching from 4 different pitchers yesterday. Tyler Mahle went 5 innings and gave up one run, Shane McClanahan went another 5.3 innings and gave up 2 runs, and Brusdar Graterol and Jake McGee added 2 scoreless innings. Rhys Hoskins took Yu Darvish deep, and added a double, and Curt Casali tried to help Darvish out by adding 2 hits, one double, of his own.
Portland: “L,” 2-2; 33PA, 17.3IP
| AVG: 0.143 | OBP: 0.273 | SLG: 0.179 | OPS: 0.451 |
| ERA: 4.16 | WHIP: 1.272 |
The Rosebuds got two good pitching outings and one not so good. Adbert Alzolay gave up 3 runs in 7 innings, and Eric Lauer was even better, surrendering only one run in 6.3 innings. Bu Sammy Long gave up 4 in 4 innings. Dylan Carlson was the only batter to collect and extra base hit (a double), and Jorge Polanco added in 2 singles of his own.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2021
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 60 | 24 | .711 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 54 | 30 | .646 | 5.4 |
| Boston Red Sox | 52 | 32 | .619 | 7.7 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 47 | 36 | .566 | 12.2 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 43 | 38 | .531 | 15.2 |
| New York Yankees | 41 | 40 | .506 | 17.2 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 27 | 56 | .325 | 32.2 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| D.C. Balk | 52 | 26 | .662 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 48 | 30 | .610 | 4 |
| New York Mets | 42 | 36 | .538 | 9.6 |
| Washington Nationals | 40 | 41 | .494 | 13.1 |
| Atlanta Braves | 40 | 42 | .488 | 13.6 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 39 | 41 | .488 | 13.6 |
| Miami Marlins | 35 | 46 | .432 | 18.1 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago White Sox | 49 | 33 | .598 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 42 | 38 | .525 | 6 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 42 | 40 | .513 | 6.9 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 39 | 43 | .482 | 9.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 37 | 46 | .446 | 12.5 |
| Kansas City Royals | 35 | 47 | .427 | 14 |
| Minnesota Twins | 33 | 48 | .407 | 15.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 51 | 33 | .607 | — |
| Cottage Cheese | 44 | 40 | .529 | 6.6 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 42 | 40 | .512 | 8 |
| Chicago Cubs | 42 | 41 | .506 | 8.5 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 41 | 43 | .488 | 10 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 29 | 53 | .354 | 21 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Kaline Drive | 54 | 30 | .643 | — |
| Houston Astros | 51 | 33 | .607 | 3 |
| Haviland Dragons | 50 | 34 | .595 | 4 |
| Oakland A’s | 49 | 36 | .576 | 5.5 |
| Seattle Mariners | 44 | 40 | .524 | 10 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 41 | 41 | .500 | 12 |
| Texas Rangers | 33 | 50 | .398 | 20.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Peshastin Pears | 53 | 29 | .648 | — |
| San Francisco Giants | 52 | 30 | .634 | 1.1 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 52 | 31 | .627 | 1.6 |
| San Diego Padres | 49 | 36 | .576 | 5.6 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 35 | 47 | .429 | 17.9 |
| Colorado Rockies | 36 | 48 | .429 | 18.1 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 23 | 62 | .271 | 31.6 |