I did a double whammy on an innocent Japanese phenom yesterday or the day before. I praised him. Ohtani had to leave yesterday’s game after two innings injured with blister … and humiliated with 3 er allowed.
I also jinxed an EFL owner by comparing him to Ohtani. The Outs already have taken a tumble since then.
I did a double whammy on another innocent EFL owner today.
Here are the standings as I first calculated them this morning, bleary-eyed, in my jammies and a hurry:
EFL Standings for 2018
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
RS |
RA |
| Kaline Drive |
11 |
6 |
.635 |
— |
79.9 |
60.6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos |
10 |
6 |
.609 |
0.5 |
82.2 |
65.8 |
| Cottage Cheese |
9 |
8 |
.541 |
1.6 |
83.3 |
76.8 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
8 |
7 |
.539 |
1.7 |
74.4 |
68.8 |
| Portland Rosebuds |
8 |
8 |
.509 |
2.2 |
70.7 |
69.4 |
| Haviland Dragons |
9 |
8 |
.507 |
2.2 |
78.6 |
77.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines |
8 |
8 |
.488 |
2.5 |
58.0 |
59.4 |
| Brookland Outs |
8 |
9 |
.479 |
2.7 |
88.1 |
91.8 |
| D.C. Balk |
8 |
8 |
.472 |
2.7 |
62.3 |
65.8 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes |
7 |
9 |
.445 |
3.2 |
61.2 |
68.4 |
| Peshastin Pears |
6 |
10 |
.373 |
4.3 |
64.7 |
83.9 |
I noticed the Drive’s ascent into first place, giving us a break from the Kangaroos plaguing our yard and eating all the plantings. I also noticed the Wolverines’ rise from 9th to 7th place — no sudden Dragonish soaring, but not too bad for earthbound mammals. Then I went to take my shower and begin a very full day.
About 11 am I opened an email from an owner whom I will not name so as not to shame:
“Most Esteemed Commissioner” (or wording to that effect):
It might be because of percentage allocated, but it looks like there are perhaps some of stats missing from my team from last night (JBJ, Moncada, Solarte and maybe others?) on the EFL stats page. Am I missing something or is the stats page missing something? Based on my offensive stats last night I should have scored more than 4 runs, I think!
<name redacted>
Dear <name redacted>
I don’t know. I may not have time to get to it today. I am attaching the stats I used for today’s updates. Maybe you can spot the problem.
Ron
“Most Beneficent Commisioner (implied):
“Yes – that list doesn’t include any of my offensive statistics from yesterday. It does include my pitching stats, but no offense.”
<name redacted>
Dear <name redacted>:
None taken. I’ll fix it tomorrow. Thanks for ferreting out the problem.
— Ron
So I did. And what a difference it made! See if you can spot it in these, the CORRECTED Standings for today. And let’s see if I can jinx anyone else.
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
RS |
RA |
| Kaline Drive |
11 |
6 |
.635 |
— |
79.9 |
60.6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos |
10 |
6 |
.609 |
0.5 |
82.2 |
65.8 |
| Cottage Cheese |
9 |
8 |
.541 |
1.6 |
83.3 |
76.8 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
8 |
7 |
.539 |
1.7 |
74.4 |
68.8 |
| Portland Rosebuds |
8 |
8 |
.509 |
2.2 |
70.7 |
69.4 |
| Haviland Dragons |
9 |
8 |
.507 |
2.2 |
78.6 |
77.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines |
8 |
8 |
.488 |
2.5 |
58.0 |
59.4 |
| Brookland Outs |
8 |
9 |
.479 |
2.7 |
88.1 |
91.8 |
| D.C. Balk |
8 |
8 |
.472 |
2.7 |
62.3 |
65.8 |
| Flint Hill Tornados Ferrets |
7 |
9 |
.463 |
2.9 |
63.5 |
68.4 |
| Peshastin Pears |
6 |
10 |
.373 |
4.3 |
64.7 |
83.9 |
Kaline: W, 3 – 0. (.264, .35o,.302; 10.7 ip, 2 er). Trevor Williams laid a fine foundation, with 6.7 ip, 2 er. But the key was the three relievers, led by our old almost-friend Brian Johnson, who combined for 4.7 scoreless innings. Steve Pearce also throve in Toronto’s long delayed double header, going 5 for 8 with a double to raise his OPS to a would-be-Wolverine-leading .997.
.
Canberra: L, 3 – 6. (.233, .361, .267; 7.7 ip,. 5 er) Kangaroos bound. So I assume they are unfazed by being down for a moment. It’s part of their gait. They go down to go back up. Right? Altavilla will not always blow the game with 2 runs in a crucial inning. Greg Holland will get outs most of the time. Corey Kluber — well, he’s pretty much aways going to do something like 6.7 ip, 1 er, but that’s just there to keep the bounding around on a higher plane.
.
Cottage: W, 8 – (-10). (.333, .405, .667; 7 ip, 0 er). Poor Mike Moustakas — unsigned until the very end of the winter, almost an afterthought in the EFL draft, career leaking away… until yesterday he went 5 for 9 with a homer and a double. That’s Pearcean! It was wasted in the Royals’ doubleheader sweep, but redeemed in the Cheese surge in the standings.
.
Pittsburgh: W 2, L 3; 16 – 17. (.313, 346, .458; 6.3 ip, 1 er) I believe this is the first quintuple header in EFL history. The Alleghenys did well to essentially break even. They piled up 51 plate appearances to hold off the replacement demons, OPSing just over .800. They got a fine 6.3, 1 er performance from David Price (5 ip, 1 er) and Joe Jimenez (1.3 ip, 0 er). Those Alleghenys just know how to win, even in the worst adversity.
.
Haviland: “W”, 2 – 2. (.206, 282, .324; 3 ip, 0 er). Not much happened in Haviland yesterday to change the Dragons’ position. Mediocre offense, scanty but effective pitching, and the Dragons were content to glide for a day.
.
Old Detroit: W, 4 – 1. (.225, .354, .400; 6.3 ip, 0 er). I’d take that offense all year if someone offered it to me guaranteed. I’d take the pitching, too, but I don’t really need 0.00 ERA. I don’t think… Trea Turner was the straw in the drink Monday, going 3 for 4 with two doubles and a walk (and a SB).
.
Brookland: L, 3 – 7. (.207, .361, .414; 7 ip, 5 er). Jake Odorizzi stumbled on the mound: 5 ip, 4 er). Miguel Andujar (2 for 4 with a double and a homer) and CJ Cron (2 for 3 with a HBP) led the Wolverine-class offense.
.
DC: “W”, 3 – 4. (.195, .320, .341; 7 ip, 1 er). Too much (49 PA) of a poor offense is not a good thing. But you always want all the 7 ip, 1 er pitching you can get. This time it was mostly the 5 scoreless innings twirled by… former rejectee and castaway Jarlin Garcia! I dare you to DFA him now.
.
Flint Hill: W, 6 – 1. (.294, .366, .618; 8 ip, 0 er). Yep, you got it, the ferreters-out from Flint Hill gained 2.4 runs scored, 0.016 in winning percentage, 0.3 in games behind, and 0 in W/L (after rounding). And as for the other half of my double-whammy: doesn’t Flint Hill Ferrets flow off the tongue better than Flint Hill Tornados?
.
Peshastin: W, 9 – 8. (.368, .442, .658; 3 ip, 3 er). Happy Edgar Day … again. Didn’t the Pears just have one of these? This one was BIG: 43 plate appearances. Javier Baez led the way going 3 for 4 with a homer and a double . Realmuto homered and singled among his first four ABs of the season.
