Origin Story
It started when my dad (Richard Votaw) was a boy. I’m sure it was his mother’s idea. She (Mildred Votaw) loved party games, and often invented new ones for various get-togethers. This one was planned for a family party which took place every year on New Year’s night, January 1.
How It Works
The plan is simple: each person at the table writes their wish(es) on a small piece of paper, folds it, and puts their name on the outside. Your writing can include New Year’s resolutions, wishes, hopes, or prayers – anything that looks forward to the coming year. No one is allowed to tell what they’ve written; that is kept secret until the next year.
The papers are collected and put in an envelope which is sealed, later to be tucked away for a year. Then the candles are lit. This is the most stressful part of the ritual.
We use ordinary birthday candles, the kind that are designed to go on cakes. Each candle is placed in an individual candle-holder and distributed, one per person. Care is taken to ensure that all candles are of the same length and have sustained no damage of any kind. Wicks are straightened and pointed upward.
Each person is given a match and something to strike it on; at the signal, everyone lights the match and then the candle. A short time of chaos is traditional at this point, as various people (especially young ones) have trouble completing this task. Older folks nearby light their candles first, then assist the younger ones, just as we are instructed to do with oxygen masks on airplanes.
Now comes the waiting period, as each person watches their candle. They want it to last the longest, on the theory that the winner (the person whose candle burns the longest) will get their wishes, and the loser (owner of the candle that goes out first) will not. This has never been proven, but belief persists.
Dick’s New Year’s wish from 1955, a week before Peggy’s birth.
Candle Defenders
Over the years I’ve seen people (generally younger ones) build various defenses around their candle, to prevent stray breezes – people WILL talk – from accelerating its demise. In years past there have been occasional attempts to remove the candle to a safer location, but this is not permitted; the candle must stay on the table in front of its owner, who must remain seated.
As the candles go down, people start to notice (and some complain) that certain candles seem to be going down faster than others. Defensive measures are intensified, but to no avail; each candle is doomed, and there’s nothing that can be done. As each one goes out–you watch for that final puff of smoke–its owners name is written down in a list on the back of the envelope containing the wishes. Finally, only one candle remains lit, and the stopwatch is started.
While the winner gloats, basking in the joy of future wish fulfillment, and superiority over the rest of the table, the timekeeper notes the number of seconds by which the winning candle’s life exceeds that of the others. The winner’s name is carefully noted at the top of the list, and the envelope is put away securely for another year.
Variations on the theme
When I was young, Grandma had a special dessert that was served during the waiting period, while the candles were lit. It was an ice-cream dessert that she bought at the grocery. I don’t know what it was called – snowballs, or something like that – but I remember it had coconut and icing. One year there was no dessert, and we were told that the store no longer carried them. We haven’t seen them since. The present ritual has no dessert component, sad to say.
We always read last year’s wishes, to see what came true and what didn’t. The reading is public, and is the source of laughter and occasional embarrassment. The current practice is to read them first, which of course helps us to know what kinds of things to write down this year. But I think that we used to postpone the reading of the old ones until after the new ones were put away.
Photo credits
Thanks to Sarah for these photos; aren’t they great?
Here’s a set of New Years’ wishes from 1960. Click to enlarge, so you can read them. Or you can read the transcription at right.
New Years’ Wishes 1960
Granddad: I am thankful for our nice family circle and my wish is that we all can enjoy good health and can grow in grace and faith in God.
Dick: I wish for the upcoming Summit Conference in the Spring of 1960 to be a big step towards permanent world peace with Dick Nixon as our next president to lead the world in this goal.
Peggy: I wish for a Tiny Tears doll.
David: I hope I have a Happy New Year.
Doree: This New Year day – we have so many things to be thankful for – I really can’t think of a personal wish for the coming year – except that we be able to continue in the joys of this wonderful family group.
Aunt: I hope I can still drive and take care of myself and Sue.
Grandma: I hope we have no more children this year – maybe next.
I particularly enjoyed reading your description of the tradition, well done, and very accurate. My own strategy for extended candle life is ensuring as few children as possible are seated near me (which explains a series of losses while my kids were little) and shushing anyone who dared whisper in the direction of my candle flame. Also, I keep it far from other candles, so the heat sources don’t accelerate my own candles wax melting.