Life’s Burning Questions

Today we’ll channel our inner Guy Noir.

Haviland: W, 6 – 5. .268, .333, .512; 13.7 ip, 6 er.  Kyle Blanks went 3 for 4 with a double.  He’s got an OPS of .968 in May.  Carlos Peguero went 0 for 5.  He’s got an OPS of .985 in May.Both of these guys languished in AAA for years. Now suddenly they are dominating MLB pitching.  How did the Chiefest of Calamities get such a golden touch?

Old Detroit: W 9 – 3.  .341, .431, .545; 6.3 ip, 3 er . The lead story for MLB’s website last night was Giancarlo Stanton’s home run that ended up entirely outside Dodger Stadium. It counted the same as a pop up that wraps around the Pesky Pole.  They have a three-point line in basketball to reward the longer shots. They recognize big flies in cricket by counting them for 6 runs.  Isn’t it time for baseball to award two runs for monster blasts that leave the stadium?

Pittsburgh: L, 6 – 9.  .268, .362, .415;  18 ip, 11 er.  Stephen Strasburg chulked (3.3 ip, 7 er) to delay slightly the inevitable Allegheny ascension. Strasburg’s ERA in May is a lofty 12.79.  For the season he “leads” the uninjured Alleghenys with a 6.06 ERA.  We didn’t entirely understand Canberra’s willingness to trade Strasburg for an injured Profar last summer — a sentiment compounded by how the deal dashed our dwindling hopes to overthrow the Alleghenys in the pennant race.  But now Profar has been turned into the next Doug Fister, and Strasburg is sabotaging Pittsburgh’s ascent, can it be that the Captain Kangaroo knew something we didn’t?

Cottage:  L, 5  – 10.  .333, .342, .500; 19.7 ip, 12 er. Kris Bryant went 3 for 4 yesterday with a triple, a homer and a walk.  I was surprised to learn that this lifted his May batting line to only .233, .377, .512.  Given all the hype — the most since Mookie Betts, remember him? — I’d have thought his line yesterday would have more closely resembled his career stats.  Why are you reading here for the first time about Bryant’s 21 K’s in 43 May AB?

Peshastin: “L”, 5 – 3. .303, .378, .394;  9 ip, 3 er.     Logan Morrison hit one of the Mariners’ six homers last night. He’s hitting .306, .419, .833 in May.  Is it possible for a young man to misspend his youth and good fortune for five years, and then suddenly reach his potential?

Portland:  W 2, L (-1); 8 – (-2).  .233, .361, .333; 0 ip, 0 er.  Here is a burning question I don’t have time to answer right now: how did a team erase 2 runs it had previously allowed on a day when it had no pitching?

Canberra:  W, 15 – 7.  .485, .538, .879;  1 ip, 0 er.  Wow. Bryce Harper hit another homer, plus a double and a walk in 4 plate appearances. Jason Kipnis went 3 for four with two doubles and a walk.  Marcus Semien went 3 for 5 with a triple and a homer. Denard Span went 2 for 3 with a double and a walk. Scott Van Slyke went 3 for 4 with a double. Whatever you’re eating for breakfast over there in the greater Suitland area, will any of it be left when I get there Saturday?

Flint Hill: L, 1 – 10. .211, .250, .237;  13.7 ip, 4 er.   Chris Heston pitched a brilliant complete game — 9 ip, 1 er, 10 strikeouts, 0 walks — for the Mound City Dust Devils, Haviland’s AAA team. But fear not, the Tornadoes got some big league pitching.  Collin McHugh went 4.7 innings, allowing 3 earned runs, striking out 3 and walking 2.  Will we catch the Top Tornado sticking pins in his Collin McHugh bobblehead next?  (Editor’s note

Kaline: W 2, L (-1);  14 – 0. .417, .462, 1.028;  13.7 ip, 3 er.  Double wow. Mike Zunino hit two homers amid a 3 for 4 night last night.  Fellow Drive/Mariner Justin Ruggiano blasted a homer in his only trip to the plate. Meanwhile Mark Trumbo clouted two more  wherever it was he played.   The Drive took another 1.2 games off the gap between them and the Dragons.  At the rate they’ve been going lately, they’ll catch Haviland by a week from tomorrow.  Can they keep it up?