The big Fourth of July weekend has been full of fireworks already. On Friday the Cubs lost their second game in a row to the Mets, 10 -2 — their worst loss of the season. This dropped them into a virtual tie with the Rangers for the best record in baseball.
On Saturday The Red Sox lost 21-2 to the fallen Angels. The Rangers got creamed 17-5 by the worst team in baseball, the Twins. The Mariners took down the Orioles (the best non-EFL team in the AL East) 12 – 6. The Indians lost their 14-game winnings streak 12 – 10 to Toronto.
On Sunday the Indians lost again 17-1. The Cubs lost their fourth in a row to the Mets, with their new worst shellacking of the year 14 – 3. The Nationals beat up on the Reds 12 – 1. The Red Sox took revenge on the Angels, 10 – 5. And the Mariners completed their sweep of the Orioles, 9 – 4.
With all those bombs bursting there will be casualties.
EFL Standings for 2016
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 52 | 29 | .637 | — | 450.9 | 339.6 |
| Haviland Dragons | 52 | 31 | .630 | 0.3 | 414.8 | 320.3 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 51 | 33 | .609 | 2 | 433.4 | 341.7 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 46 | 35 | .567 | 5.7 | 435.2 | 377.4 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 47 | 36 | .563 | 5.9 | 402.0 | 349.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 43 | 41 | .514 | 10 | 384.1 | 367.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 41 | 40 | .505 | 10.7 | 355.8 | 351.4 |
| Cottage Cheese | 41 | 40 | .504 | 10.8 | 406.7 | 396.2 |
| Kaline Drive | 33 | 50 | .396 | 19.7 | 397.4 | 484.8 |
| D.C. Balk | 28 | 55 | .343 | 24.1 | 330.5 | 465.5 |
Old Detroit: W 2, L 1; 11 – 13. (.253, .283, .377; 35 ip, 21 er). The Wolverines would be in second place if I hadn’t benched John Lamb at 11:35 last night after I got wind of his nasty 4.3 ip, 8 er start to the month of July.
Haviland: W 2, L 1; 15 – 7. (.268, .318, 469; 34.4 ip, 9 er). Haviland timed its leap well, landing only 0.3 games short of the target, with every right to try to leap again today. Jake Lamb evened out things for the ovine set, going 4 for 12 with a double, a walk and two homers.
Portland: W1, L 2; 13 – 14. (.248, .329, .375; 48 ip, 35 er). This season’s plot was supposed to go like this:
April: Dragons
May: Kangaroos
June: Wolverines
July: Rosebuds
With August and September to be a dogfight with either the W’s, ‘Roos, or ‘Buds coming out on top. The Dragons were supposed to be content dominating April. When the W’s stumbled, that would be the Rosebuds’ cue to sweep onto the stage.
So far Portland has missed its cue. Crummy pitching — and so much of it! 48 innings already. That’s a huge load of 6.56 ERA — 6 games’ worth in 3 days. It’ll take all month just to digest it, leaving the door open for the Dragons to try to commandeer the league. But it’s not your turn, Haviland! Down, Dragons, down!
Pittsburgh: W 3, L 0; 25 – 10. (.319, .405, .532 — Happy Edgar Martinez Month!; 21 ip, 5 er). You all witnessed it — I let James Taillon go to the Alleghenys on their assurances they would not use him to storm from 5th place all the way to the top like they did two years ago and almost did last year. I should never have trusted those heartless piles of granite. Taillon hasn’t even pitched for the A’s yet. The other Allegheny pitchers somehow dodged all the carnage from the weekend to post a sweet 2.14 ERA for the first 10% of the month. Mike Trout’s 1.079 July OPS is only the sixth-best on the Alleghenys — Pedro Alvarez leads with 1.750.
Canberra: W 2, L 1; 11 – 13. (.246, .331, .398; 21.3 ip, 8 er). Now look what you’ve done, Captain Kangaroo! You’ve let the Alleghenys slip past you, on the loose, free to storm the castle. The Kangaroos, so dominant in May, have fallen all the way to 5th place. It’s not like anything melted down in Canberra — it’s the dead of winter there, so nothing’s going to melt. But there was no sparkle, no pizzazz. Haven’t you noticed how hard one has to work to keep the Alleghenys at bay? I think you should end your holiday weekend a day early and do what it takes to get back between the Alleghenys and those of us on top of the standings. Or do I need to find someone else to defend the league from another Allegheny coup?
Peshastin: W 2, L 1; 29 – 17. (.336, .403, .475; 11.7 ip, 6 er). A great weekend at the plate — burgers, ice cream… no I mean the figurative plate: seven hitters with OPS 1.000 or higher, led by Seth Smith’s magical weekend (7 for 13 with 3 homers, including an EFL-irrelevant grand slam just for show). Wade LeBlanc turns out to be a crucial acquisition since all the other Pear starters took the weekend off. If the Pears can get the pitching to match that offense, maybe we won’t need the Kangaroos to hold off the Alleghenys.
Flint Hill: W 1, L 2; 8 – 10. (.221, .293, .288; 38.3 ip, 19 er). Have the Tornados given up on 2016 already? Why? We are only just now entering the heart of Tornado season. Yet their starters tossed a weak 29.3 ip with 16 er, and their hitters produced only one 1.000 OPS (by the amped-up Albert Almora). Byron Buxton managed a 3 for 9 with a triple; no one else OPSed better than .667.
Cottage: W 2, L 1; 24 – 17. (.322, .392, .487; 36.3 ip, 21 er). That Cheesy offense is impressive, enviable. It was built on 5 players OPSing 1.000 or better, led by new Cheese Maikel Franco’s 1.576. The pitching needs to improve, however, if the Cheese have ambitions of keeping up with the Pears. Michael Fulmer provided 7 shutout innings, but the other five starters who appeared allowed 3, 4 or even 7 runs in their truncated appearances.
Kaline: W 3, L 0; 30 – 10. (.328, .427, .604 — Happy Edgar Martinez Month!; 38.0 ip, 13 er). Here we have the best weekend for anyone in the EFL! Mike Zunino blasts two homers in his 2016 debut, posting a showy 2.600 OPS, the best of the seven Drives who came in over 1.000 in that department (with Peter Bourjos narrowly missing being the 8th with his .962 July OPS). Bud Norris pulled off a shutout , and three other starters pitched well to give the Drive their biggest three-day boost of the season.
D.C.: W 2, L 1; 16 – 9. (.296, .343, .418; 25 ip, 7 er.) This also looks more like a first-place team’s line than a cellar-dweller’s. And look at that! The Balk are no longer in the NL East cellar! Perhaps sensing the new competition from a catcher with the initials WC and the misspelled first name, Welington Castillo went .500, .556, .1.375 over the weekend.
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 52 | 29 | .637 | — |
| Baltimore Orioles | 47 | 34 | .580 | 4.6 |
| Boston Red Sox | 44 | 37 | .543 | 7.6 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 45 | 39 | .536 | 8.1 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 41 | 40 | .505 | 10.7 |
| New York Yankees | 40 | 41 | .494 | 11.6 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 33 | 48 | .407 | 18.6 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Washington Nationals | 50 | 33 | .602 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 47 | 36 | .563 | 3.2 |
| New York Mets | 44 | 37 | .543 | 5 |
| Miami Marlins | 43 | 39 | .524 | 6.5 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 37 | 46 | .446 | 13 |
| D.C. Balk | 28 | 55 | .343 | 21.5 |
| Atlanta Braves | 28 | 54 | .341 | 21.5 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 49 | 32 | .605 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 46 | 35 | .567 | 3 |
| Detroit Tigers | 44 | 38 | .537 | 5.5 |
| Kansas City Royals | 43 | 38 | .531 | 6 |
| Chicago White Sox | 42 | 40 | .512 | 7.5 |
| Minnesota Twins | 27 | 54 | .333 | 22 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Chicago Cubs | 51 | 30 | .630 | — |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 43 | 38 | .531 | 8 |
| Cottage Cheese | 41 | 40 | .504 | 10.2 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 41 | 41 | .500 | 10.5 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 35 | 46 | .432 | 16 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 30 | 53 | .361 | 22 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Haviland Dragons | 52 | 31 | .630 | — |
| Texas Rangers | 52 | 31 | .627 | 0.3 |
| Seattle Mariners | 43 | 39 | .524 | 8.8 |
| Houston Astros | 43 | 39 | .524 | 8.8 |
| Oakland A’s | 35 | 47 | .427 | 16.8 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 33 | 49 | .402 | 18.8 |
| Kaline Drive | 33 | 50 | .396 | 19.4 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| San Francisco Giants | 52 | 32 | .619 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 51 | 33 | .609 | 0.8 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 47 | 37 | .560 | 5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 43 | 41 | .514 | 8.8 |
| Colorado Rockies | 37 | 44 | .457 | 13.5 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 37 | 47 | .440 | 15 |
| San Diego Padres | 35 | 47 | .427 | 16 |