Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

EFL Standings for 2016

Haviland: L, 6 – 6.

Old Detroit:  L, 2 – 9.

For the first six days of July the Woeverines have averaged 50.67 raw AB per day, including three days with batting averages at or under .200.  It’s not just crummy hitting, it’s crummy hitting on staggeringly massive scale. The Dragons are playing well — they probably would have caught the W’s eventually, and Jake Lamb had another great day with a homer and two walks — but the swiftness of their victory was driven by the utterness of the W’s offensive collapse.  And I do mean “offensive.”

Portland:  W,  7 – 1.   Here come the Rosebuds!  Can they save the league from another reign of reptilian terror?

Pittsburgh:  W, 9 – 6. Aggh! Here come the Alleghenys… again. Sigh.

Canberra:  L,  1 – 4.

Peshastin: L, 3 – 7.

Cottage: W, 5 – 1.

Flint Hill: L, 2 – 6.

Kaline:  L, 1 – 4.

DC: “W”, 7 – 12.

And you thought the aftermath of Brexit was disruptive.  Look at all the teams that suffered from the destruction of the benign Wolverine administration!  With the glaring exception of one opportunist * profiting from disorder, the good citizens of the lower reaches of the EFL saw their retirement savings evaporate in a general market collapse.

I apologize for the W’s failure to maintain good order.I have called a Wolverine team meeting.  That should fix things.  And if it doesn’t… maybe the Rosebuds can ride in on their white horses and save us.

* Cheese is made from milk.  Milk in Spanish is “leche”, which forms the root of the word “lecherous.”  So of course the Cheese are likely to prosper in times of civil disorder.