Melanie, in a rare miss-step, just gave me Fail Better: Why Baseball Matters by Mark Kingwell. She saw it at Powell’s and thought I would like it.
She was right. But I am supposed to be grading.
I am on page 32. I like the book, but it isn’t perfect. It’s overwritten, sentences wandering from topic to topic so the author can pick up and display every clever turn of phrase he finds. Also, he is afraid we don’t know anything. His editor was too timid to risk coming between Kingwell and his words.
Yes, I am in love with my words, too. And I don’t even have an editor. But love is incompatible with greed or gluttony. I am married to only one beautiful woman. I play in only one fantastic fantasy league. If I could pare a post to only one perfect word, you would never hear the end of it.
I can’t, so I will try to forgive Kingwell his logorrhea. To his credit, he chose a pithy epigraph:
” All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
— Samuel Beckett, Worstward Ho (1983)
Fail better. I wonder if it can be a fitting epigraph (not an epitaph) for my pithed Wolverines this year.
EFL Standings for 2017
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Cottage Cheese | 19 | 5 | .777 | — | 148.8 | 79.8 |
| Peshastin Pears | 17 | 9 | .665 | 2.1 | 115.5 | 81.9 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 15 | 8 | .648 | 3.2 | 115.3 | 85.0 |
| Kaline Drive | 16 | 9 | .637 | 3.2 | 114.6 | 86.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 14 | 10 | .583 | 4.6 | 111.7 | 94.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 13 | 12 | .530 | 5.9 | 141.9 | 133.8 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 10 | 13 | .453 | 7.7 | 84.1 | 92.4 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 11 | 14 | .424 | 8.5 | 104.7 | 121.9 |
| D.C. Balk | 10 | 15 | .394 | 9.3 | 122.8 | 152.3 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 10 | 16 | .391 | 9.5 | 112.4 | 140.4 |
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Cottage: W, 6 – 3. (.268,.388, .463; 9 ip, 3 er). Chris Archer and two relievers pitched well, and Bryce Harper went out of April like a lion (2 for 4 with a homer and two walks). Harper (.391, .509, .772) edged Trout (.364, .443, .707) for Cheese of the Month. Aaron Hicks finished a close third (.295, .429, .614). Ivan Nova was the Cheese Pitcher of the Month (36 ip, 6 er) with Dylan Bundy a very close second (32.7 ip, 6 er). I don’t think “Fail Better” works for the Cheese, at least not at this point in the season. They have to fail first to establish a baseline before they can fail better.
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Peshastin: L, 1 – 4. (.154, .214, .231; 3 ip, 3 er). EDITOR’S CORRECTION: The Pear stats have been revised since I first published this. I discovered that Hunter Renfroe’s stats had not been accumulating for the Pears — he was activated in the allocations file, but not in the BP file. I caught it in time so there’s no permanent damage to the standings. However, Renfroe wasn’t helping the Pears, net, so they take a small hit today with the adjustment, ending up less than 0.1 games further back (still showing as 2.1 games) and 0.010 worse by winning percentage. The Pears went out of April like lambs. Lambs shorn — and possibly slaughtered, to hear Phil tell it yesterday in my kitchen eating the cookies Melanie made. Starling Marte: gone for half the season, self-inflicted PED wounds. Mitch Haniger, team leader on offense (1.054 OPS): gone for who knows how long, injury. I tried to encourage Phil, to remind him of the awesome responsibility of the second-place team (to make sure there’s an exciting pennant race), etc. I am willing to offer advice. After all, last year the Wolverines finished 0.7 games out of first, so clearly we know what it takes to be an ideal second-place team. Phil needs to fail just a scoosh better than he’s failing now.
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Flint Hill: W, 9 – 5. (.360, .467, .600; 9.3 ip, 2 er). What a great day for a Tornado! Todd Frazier homered to get his season OPS over .700, and team offensive leader Daniel Murphy went 2 for 4 with a homer and a walk to nudge his April OPS closer to 1.000 (.969). Fifth starter Jesse Hahn put together a strong start (6 ip, 2 er). And the Tornados find themselves in 3rd place, microns ahead of the Drive, with a chance to be in the thick of the pennant race (if the Cheese permit one).
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Kaline: L, 2- 5. (.171, .293, .257; 2.7 ip, 2 er). The Drive stumbled across the April finish line with an ineffective day in relief pitching and hitting. Kris Bryant homered and Drive sensation Aaron Judge walked three times and singled… but that was pretty much it for offensive highlights. Judge ended April the clear Drive leader (.303, .411, .750) with his 10 homers. James Paxton is the Drive Ace: 32.3 ip, 5 er, for an ERA of 1.39. Still, the Drive are an inspiration to all of us who want to dream of being in a pennant race. They started the season worse than anyone ever has, with a first-day winning percentage of 0.005. Over a season, a team with a .005 winning percentage would go 0.8 and 161.2. Of course, it’s pretty easy to fail better than that…
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Pittsburgh: W 1, L 1; 16 – 13. (.433, .485, .800; 1 ip, 0 er). For a doubleheader, even with the awesome offensive slash line, the Allegheny performance seems thin. Only 1 inning? The Alleghenys leave April saddled with 12.7 replacement innings. Only 33 PA? Oh, well, I guess they have plenty of plate appearances. And anyway, it’s all just enough to sneak them ahead of the Dragons, which if you aren’t going to win the pennant is a pretty good consolation prize. You should also scroll down and see how the Alleghenys are now tied with Cleveland for first place in the AL Central. Flint Hill is only 0.1 games behind the Yankees and Red Sox, and Kaline is the same distance behind the Astros. (Of course, Peshastin and Cottage lead their divisions).
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Haviland: W (-1), L 2; (-2) – 14. (.138, .194, .241; 2.7 ip, 7 er). I asked John on Saturday if he thought the Dragons had the horses to make a race with the Cheese. He answered cautiously, doubtful they did. He’s probably even more doubtful today. Josh Smoker’s 5 er in 1 ip were the killer, but there wasn’t much to kill with the offense going 4 for 29 with a homer and 2 walks. 3 of the four hits, and half the walks, were by Miguel Sano.
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Old Detroit: “L”, 4 – 3. (.175, .327, .300; 6.3 ip, 2 er). Yesterday Phil spoke of his team as having a “Wolverine hitting day.” He meant by that a day when the team taken as a whole OPSes less than .600. So already our offensive woes have become part of the league lexicon. Fantastic. Laugh at the Wolverines if you like, I don’t care. Laugh at Madison Bumgarner and his dirt bike, Rich Hill and his blister, Tyler Skaggs and his latest broken body part. Laugh at Kyle Schwarber’s .204 batting average, or Dan Vogelbach’s .143, or Steve Pearce’s .167, or Jurickson Profar’s .135 (and .424 OPS). Laugh at Austin Hedges going 1 for 27 until I sent him to Toledo, after which he went 15 for 52 with 3 doubles, 6 homers and 3 walks for .288, .328, .692. Yes, that’s right, Austin Hedges over the last 2/3 of the month was the best Wolverine hitter… and none of it counted. Yet, here we are, atop the heap of losing teams, a step or two away from the Dragons. We have not yet begun to fail… better!
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Canberra: “W”, 3 – 6. (.188, .278, .250; 8.3 ip, 5 er). Yes, alas, the Kangaroos hit like Wolverines yesterday — Wolverines not banished to the minors, that is — and Martin Perez pitched like… well, not Wolverines, we did better, generally, than 4 earned runs in 5 ip. Mark Reynolds went 0 for 4, leaving him just short of a 1.000 OPS (.968) and ceding the team’s top OPS to Michael Conforto’s 1.055 in only 64 PA (compared to Reynolds’ 104). Blake Snell acted like the Kangaroo April ace, turning in a strong 3.42 ERA. At least Ryan got to spend his birthday at the Nationals’ 23 – 5 blowout win over the Mets.
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D.C.: “W”, 4 – 5. (.297, .297, .432; 2 ip, 0 er). With a little pitching, just think what they could have done. Say, had Sam Dyson not been in Suitland, his 2 scoreless innings might have earned the Balk a real win. As it is, the Balk will take some getting used to the rarified atmosphere of 9th place. The top Balk hitter is Corey Seager, OPSing .961. Behind him are seven other solid hitters OPSing between .753 and .916. That’s a good lineup — I wish I had those numbers. The Balk are CLEARLY failing better these days.
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Portland: W, 10 – 1. (.406, .472, .750; 6 ip, 0 er.) The best day for the Rosebuds all year, and it lands on a birthday. Not Mark’s birthday, but still… German Marquez pitched 6 scoreless innings,which would be good enough. But on top of that, Anthony Rendon went 6 for 6 with three homers and a double: possibly the best offensive day in the history of the EFL. (And, because it was someone’s birthday yesterday, Ryan got to be present to witness Rendon’s career day.) Without Rendon, the Rosebuds went only 7 for 26 with a double and three walks: .269, .344, .308. Still better than a Wolverine day. With Rendon’s monster day, the Rosebuds gained 0.6 games on the Cheese and entire game on the Balk. I expect this to be just the start of a lot of better failing in Portland.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Baltimore Orioles | 15 | 8 | .652 | — |
| New York Yankees | 15 | 8 | .652 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 15 | 8 | .648 | 0.1 |
| Boston Red Sox | 13 | 11 | .542 | 2.5 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 12 | 14 | .462 | 4.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 10 | 13 | .453 | 4.6 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 8 | 17 | .320 | 8 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Washington Nationals | 17 | 8 | .680 | — |
| Miami Marlins | 11 | 12 | .478 | 5 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 11 | 12 | .478 | 5 |
| Atlanta Braves | 10 | 13 | .435 | 6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 11 | 14 | .424 | 6.4 |
| New York Mets | 10 | 14 | .417 | 6.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 10 | 15 | .394 | 7.1 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 14 | 10 | .583 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 14 | 10 | .583 | — |
| Chicago White Sox | 13 | 10 | .565 | 0.5 |
| Minnesota Twins | 12 | 11 | .522 | 1.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 12 | 12 | .500 | 2 |
| Kansas City Royals | 7 | 16 | .304 | 6.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cottage Cheese | 19 | 5 | .777 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 13 | 11 | .542 | 5.6 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 12 | 12 | .500 | 6.6 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 13 | 13 | .500 | 6.6 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 11 | 13 | .458 | 7.6 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 11 | 13 | .458 | 7.6 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 16 | 9 | .640 | — |
| Kaline Drive | 16 | 9 | .637 | 0.1 |
| Haviland Dragons | 13 | 12 | .530 | 2.8 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 14 | 13 | .519 | 3 |
| Texas Rangers | 11 | 14 | .440 | 5 |
| Oakland A’s | 11 | 14 | .440 | 5 |
| Seattle Mariners | 11 | 15 | .423 | 5.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Peshastin Pears | 18 | 8 | .675 | — |
| Colorado Rockies | 16 | 10 | .615 | 1.6 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 16 | 11 | .593 | 2.1 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 14 | 12 | .538 | 3.6 |
| San Diego Padres | 11 | 16 | .407 | 7.1 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 10 | 16 | .391 | 7.4 |
| San Francisco Giants | 9 | 17 | .346 | 8.6 |
Your “fail better” quote reminds me of another one, that I’ve seen a few times recently and saw again already today, by G.K. Chesterton: “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” I am posting it here in hopes that someone will explain it to me, since I do not understand it. Or perhaps I am misquoting it?