Here’s a quick trivia quiz: who famously said “¿Por qué no te callas?” to whom in 2007?
I will let you ponder this while I drone on about something or other.
.
(Hint — Neither of the parties to the famous quote is in the EFL, although one played baseball, competing in a national championship tournament.)
.
Sometimes it is better to just shut up. (Hint: the quote, in English, is “Why don’t you be quiet?” or “Why don’t you shut up?”) For example:
- I should have shut up rather than gushing to Melanie “These muffins are better than the ones you usually make!” (“These” muffins were made from a mix in a box. She usually made muffins from scratch.)
.
Below I will discuss some things better left unsaid. Further below I will give you the answer to the quiz. To be safe, try to decide your answer before you look at today’s standings. (Hint: the quote uses the second person familiar pronoun “te” (a form of “tu”), usually used within one’s family. In public it would be used typically by adults addressing children.) (Which, in the case of this quote, was especially insulting.)
.
EFL Standings for 2017
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 82 | 39 | .680 | — | 693.2 | 472.4 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 78 | 44 | .643 | 4.3 | 636.5 | 472.7 |
| Haviland Dragons | 79 | 44 | .639 | 4.6 | 733.8 | 549.6 |
| Cottage Cheese | 77 | 45 | .635 | 5.3 | 662.7 | 498.0 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 72 | 49 | .595 | 10.3 | 700.5 | 567.6 |
| Kaline Drive | 70 | 53 | .568 | 13.4 | 613.4 | 532.3 |
| Peshastin Pears | 67 | 54 | .551 | 15.6 | 591.3 | 540.6 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 64 | 58 | .529 | 18.3 | 608.3 | 560.0 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 57 | 64 | .468 | 25.7 | 578.7 | 618.4 |
| D.C. Balk | 47 | 74 | .391 | 35 | 605.3 | 757.7 |
.
Pittsburgh: W 1, L . 1; 11 – 12. (.333, .375, .639; 17.7 ip, 11 er). I regret saying to Mark several years ago in a fit of impatience to get a (already bad) deal done, “I’ll throw in Altuve.” Mark has regretted for almost as long saying “It would be good for the league if someone new would win this year.” It was true then (when I happened to be in first). It’s even truer now.
.
Flint Hill: “L”, 7 – 4. (.273, .385, .576; 3 ip, 0 er). Eleven Tornados batted Saturday. All of them had exactly 4 plate appearances — except the unfortunate Bradley Zimmer, who had 0. I bet Jamie has had moments of regret for saying “Zimmer for the minimum” on draft day. Zimmer started August by going 0 for 36 at the plate.
.
Haviland: L, 2 -9. (.212, .341, .394; 8.7 ip, 9 er). Kevin Gausman surrendered 5 runs in 4 innings and the bullpen fanned the flames.
.
Cottage: L, 6 – 8. (.277, .320, .553; no pitching.) The hitting was good — well planned, well executed. But why oh why did you tell the pitchers they could have the day off? Sure, tomorrow is the Great Eclipsopocalypse — but the Cheese are already squarely within the zone of totality! They don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. You didn’t schedule your game to coincide with the eclipse like those Volcanoes, did you?
.
Portland: W, 6 – 2. (.270, .325, .432; 15 ip, 4 er). Logan Morrison is finally having a good year. He pinch-hit against his former Mariner teammates last night and blasted a homer. I drafted Morrison in the first round as a rookie but stupidly subscribed to his Twitter feed, which in those days he filled with embarrassing inanities. He ignored my repeated mutterings of “¿Por qué no te callas?” I finally had to trade him to the Cheese just to recover some peace and quiet — but he wore out his welcome at the Cottage, too.
.
Kaline: W 3 – 0. (.214, .327, .333; 16.3 ip, 2 er). Has the Wizard ever said anything he came to regret? Asher Wojciechowski gave up 2 runs in 2 innings yesterday, but that’s not all that big of a reason to regret saying “Wojciechowski for the minimum”, which is an accomplishment all by itself.
.
Peshastin: “W” 4 – 6. (.250, .353, .386; 2.3 ip, 2 er.) At last night’s Settler’s game Phil moaned a bit about his Pears’ poor play. I blurted “How will you feel when the Wolverines pass you?” Soon after that Phil spent all his fish to steal all my cards to keep me from winning.
.
Old Detroit: L, 0 – 4. (.143, .200, .286; 2.0 ip, 1 er) … And shortly after that I discovered my team’s poor play Saturday evening. So I taunted Phil after the universe had already acted to set me back (by 0.1 games) in Project Pass the Pears.
.
Canberra: W, 6 – 6. (.300, .323, .633; 9 ip, 6 er). Late in the 1990’s my family was looking for candles for Ryan’s birthday cake. I had some used candles I’d saved, but they found a new box. I cried out “Not the good candles!”
.
DC: L, 2 – 5. (.185, .313, .259; 2 ip, 1 er). Rob is so quiet. Has he ever said anything he wished he hadn’t? I mean, since he agreed to join our league?
.
Trivia Answer: Spanish King Juan Carlos asked Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez “¿Por qué no te callas?” when Chavez wouldn’t quit interrupting the Spanish prime minister’s address to the Ibero-American Summit in Santiago, Chile.
.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 78 | 44 | .643 | — |
| Boston Red Sox | 70 | 52 | .574 | 8.5 |
| New York Yankees | 66 | 56 | .541 | 12.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 64 | 58 | .529 | 14 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 60 | 63 | .488 | 19 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 59 | 64 | .480 | 20 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 60 | 65 | .480 | 20 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Washington Nationals | 73 | 48 | .603 | — |
| Miami Marlins | 59 | 62 | .488 | 14 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 57 | 64 | .468 | 16.4 |
| Atlanta Braves | 54 | 67 | .446 | 19 |
| New York Mets | 54 | 67 | .446 | 19 |
| D.C. Balk | 47 | 74 | .391 | 25.7 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 44 | 77 | .364 | 29 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 82 | 39 | .680 | — |
| Cleveland Indians | 68 | 53 | .562 | 14.3 |
| Minnesota Twins | 62 | 59 | .512 | 20.3 |
| Kansas City Royals | 61 | 61 | .500 | 21.8 |
| Detroit Tigers | 53 | 69 | .434 | 29.8 |
| Chicago White Sox | 46 | 74 | .383 | 35.8 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cottage Cheese | 77 | 45 | .635 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 65 | 57 | .533 | 12.5 |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 64 | 60 | .516 | 14.5 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 63 | 60 | .512 | 15 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 59 | 64 | .480 | 19 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 53 | 71 | .427 | 25.5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Haviland Dragons | 79 | 44 | .639 | — |
| Houston Astros | 76 | 47 | .618 | 2.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 70 | 53 | .568 | 8.8 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 63 | 60 | .512 | 15.7 |
| Seattle Mariners | 63 | 61 | .508 | 16.2 |
| Texas Rangers | 61 | 61 | .500 | 17.2 |
| Oakland A’s | 53 | 70 | .431 | 25.7 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 87 | 34 | .719 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 72 | 49 | .595 | 15 |
| Colorado Rockies | 68 | 55 | .553 | 20 |
| Peshastin Pears | 67 | 54 | .551 | 20.3 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 67 | 56 | .545 | 21 |
| San Diego Padres | 55 | 68 | .447 | 33 |
| San Francisco Giants | 50 | 75 | .400 | 39 |
Your storytelling exceeds your memory, O Chief Commenter. *I* was the one who said “Zimmer for the minimum.” Jamie was the one who checked my budget and carefully placed his bid slightly higher, taking advantage of my poor estate. So he gets only what he deserves.
I am conflicted, however, because at the moment he has the best chance of fulfilling the Pittsburgh Pronouncement. So I am rooting for Flint Hill, until the Cheese take over in September.
I regret saying to myself “I think I’ll allocate both Fuller and McHugh at 33% this month.” 13 shutout innings yesterday x .33 = sadness.