MLB is touting Tuesday as a day of wild record setting. What they mean by that is records like this:
- Shohei Ohtani was “the first player to earn a win in one game, then homer in a start as a non-pitcher in his next game since Babe Ruth in 1921.” Did you follow that? It doesn’t matter. As they explain, it’s not even a record since Ruth already did it. But Ohtani did set a record, I am pretty sure. He is the ONLY player to win a game, then homer in a start as a non pitcher in his next game who has two names ending in “i.” Now THAT’s a record.
- MLB tells us San Diego’s “Carlos Villanueva tied Jarrett Parker (Sept. 26, 2015 for the Giants) for the second-fewest career games logged by any Major Leaguer who has homered three times in one contest since 1908.” First — it’s not a record. Bobby Estalella did it in his 10th game. THAT’s the record. And it’s not even the runner up. Villanueva only TIED Parker. And none of these guys has had even an all-star game appearance.
- The Cardinals and Brewers became the first teams in history to start and end a game with back-to-back homers. Two Cardinals led off the game with consecutive homers, and former Wolverine Christian Yelich tied the game with two outs in the ninth with a homer, followed by another homer by an obscure non-EFLer (Ryan Braun).
OK, that last one is legit. But I bet we can come up with even better records in the EFL.
EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 5 | 1 | .830 | — | 23.6 | 10.7 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 4 | 1 | .808 | 0.4 | 37.7 | 18.4 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 3 | 2 | .699 | 1 | 26.9 | 17.6 |
| Brookland Outs | 3 | 1 | .710 | 1.1 | 24.6 | 15.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 4 | 2 | .632 | 1.2 | 28.4 | 21.7 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 2 | 2 | .583 | 1.6 | 21.0 | 17.8 |
| D.C. Balk | 2 | 3 | .477 | 2.1 | 21.2 | 22.2 |
| Cottage Cheese | 2 | 2 | .428 | 2.3 | 19.1 | 22.1 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 2 | 4 | .403 | 2.6 | 25.1 | 30.6 |
| Peshastin Pears | 1 | 4 | .237 | 3.3 | 13.9 | 24.9 |
| Haviland Dragons | 1 | 5 | .246 | 3.5 | 26.2 | 45.9 |
Old Detroit: “W”, 1 – 3. (.156, .206, .188; 0 ip, 0 er). Lewis Brinson (0 for 6 ), Carlos Gonzalez (0 for 4) and Michael Taylor (0 for 2) tied a Wolverine record for worst outfield batting line (.000, .000, .000).
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Canberra: W, 11 – 4. (.393, .500, .536; 1.3 ip, 0 er). The Kangaroos had a great day, extending the modern-day EFL record for most days in a row in which the Mock Family has held onto the first two spots in the EFL standings. (By “modern-day” I mean “after the first EFL season when the Mock Family was half the league… before the arrival of any of those Johnsons.”)
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Portland: “L”, 7 – 4. (.324, .400, .647; 11 ip, 5 er). Second baseman Aledmys Diaz (3 for 3 with a double and a homer) and shortstop Carlos Correa (2 for 2 with a homer and a walk) tied the all-time record for middle-infielders batting in a single game with their 1.000, 1.000, 2.400 line.
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Brookland: W, 4 – 3. (.345, .387, .448; 11.3 ip, 3 er). Robinson Chirinos didn’t walk again yesterday, setting a new Outs record for the umpteenth day in a row of most plate appearances at the start of the year without a walk (19).
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Kaline: “W”, 0 – 4. (.267, .343, .333; 7.3 ip, 4 er). Normally, ex-Wolverines on other EFL teams go off like fireworks as soon as they escape the clutching confines of Old Detroit. Jorge Soler (0 for 8 with two walks) is close to the all-time worstEx-Wolverine performance record at the start of a tenure for a new team. I don’t know what that record is for sure, and I think this feeling of perverse satisfaction would be familiar if I’d felt it this way before. I wonder if my pleasure makes up for the Wizard’s disappointment in the global utility index… if not, I apologize, Tom.
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Pittsburgh: L, 2 – 6. (.219, .286, .250; 5 ip 4 er.) Pittsburgh started the season in last place, so it is clearly gearing up to break its own record for biggest comeback in a pennant race. The chart of the Alleghenys’ place in the standings — see below — even looks like an Allegheny mountain: massive rather than magestic, rounded rather than jagged…
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DC: “L”, 5 – 2. (.231, .355, .269; 2.7 ip. 0 er). Balky ownership set a franchise record, if not a league record, for most dramatic conversion about a player. DC tried to release Jarlin Garcia on March 26, but the Commissioner ruled the attempt illegal, maybe even nefarious and malicious. One week later, on April 3, a Balkan press release announced that Garcia would be activate “to the max(imum)” — so DC could take 84% advantage of Garcia’s stellar 6 scoreless innings in relief in a 17-inning game. I hope Garcia doesn’t get the idea that he is loved unconditionally in DC. The record is pretty clear to the contrary.
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Cottage: W (-1), L 1; 1 – 9. (.265, .286, .500; 3.3 ip, 11 er). Scott Alexander set the 2018 record with a nonuple chulk Tuesday (0.3 ip, 3 er). Josh Tomlin also chulked (3 ip, 8 er). These are not all-time records, but with all that chulking the Cottage coracle will be riding noticeably lower in the water for quite some time.
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Flint Hill: L, 1 – 4. (.167, .255, .214; 8.3 ip, 4 er). Manuel Margot went 0 for 4 Tuesday, lowering his line to .100, .217, .100 for the season which, if he keeps it up, will be a record low for a lead-off hitter.
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Peshastin: L, 1 – 6. (.182, .200, .303; 5 ip, 1 er). So far, 5 games into the season, their rotation presumably having rotated, the Pears have produced only three starting pitchers: Flaherty, Skaggs, and Taillon. The three have done well (16.7 ip, 3 er) but with only two relievers toeing the rubber, too, the Pears are infested with replacement innings: about 15 innings’ worth already. I don’t know what the record for replacement innings is, but the Pears appear to be pushing it.
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Haviland: W (-1), L 2; 0 – 7. (.125, .176, .250; 2.3 ip, 1 er). Bryce Harper homered again, in his own person this time rather than masquerading as his brother Bryan. Harper went 1 for 3 with a walk, accounting all by himself for half the Dragons’ total bases, plus all of the team’s walks. He went .333, .500, 1.333. The rest of the team went .103, .133, .135. Will Harper set a record for percentage of a team’s offense produced by one person? I doubt it. Yonder Alonso, Zack Cozart, Brandon Nimmo, Colby Rasmus, Amed Rosario, and Gary Sanchez won’t all go 0 for the season.
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Boston Red Sox | 5 | 1 | .833 | — |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 5 | 1 | .830 | — |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 4 | 2 | .667 | 1 |
| New York Yankees | 3 | 2 | .600 | 1.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 2 | 4 | .403 | 2.6 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 1 | 4 | .200 | 3.5 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 1 | 4 | .200 | 3.5 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 4 | 1 | .808 | — |
| Washington Nationals | 4 | 1 | .800 | — |
| New York Mets | 3 | 1 | .750 | 0.5 |
| Atlanta Braves | 3 | 2 | .600 | 1 |
| D.C. Balk | 2 | 3 | .477 | 1.7 |
| Miami Marlins | 2 | 4 | .333 | 2.5 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 1 | 3 | .250 | 2.5 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 2 | 2 | .583 | — |
| Chicago White Sox | 2 | 2 | .500 | 0.3 |
| Minnesota Twins | 2 | 2 | .500 | 0.3 |
| Cleveland Indians | 2 | 3 | .400 | 0.8 |
| Kansas City Royals | 1 | 3 | .250 | 1.3 |
| Detroit Tigers | 1 | 4 | .200 | 1.8 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 4 | 0 | .000 | — |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 4 | 1 | .800 | 0.5 |
| Brookland Outs | 3 | 1 | .710 | 1.2 |
| Cottage Cheese | 2 | 2 | .428 | 2.3 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 2 | 3 | .400 | 2.5 |
| Chicago Cubs | 2 | 3 | .400 | 2.5 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 1 | 3 | .250 | 3 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Houston Astros | 5 | 1 | .833 | — |
| Seattle Mariners | 3 | 1 | .750 | 1 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 4 | 2 | .667 | 1 |
| Kaline Drive | 4 | 2 | .632 | 1.2 |
| Texas Rangers | 2 | 4 | .333 | 3 |
| Oakland A’s | 2 | 4 | .333 | 3 |
| Haviland Dragons | 1 | 5 | .246 | 3.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 4 | 1 | .800 | — |
| Portland Rosebuds | 3 | 2 | .699 | 0.5 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 2 | 3 | .400 | 2 |
| San Francisco Giants | 2 | 3 | .400 | 2 |
| Colorado Rockies | 2 | 3 | .400 | 2 |
| Peshastin Pears | 1 | 4 | .237 | 2.8 |
| San Diego Padres | 1 | 4 | .200 | 3 |