No-No Things

We had another one of those no-no things last night.

Be careful how you read that.  I didn’t say we had a “know no thing.” The Know Nothings were a political party in the 1850’s.  They were sort of the Deplorables of their day.  They originally called themselves the Native American Party — one of history’s ironies since they held no sympathy for actual Native Americans.  On the other hand, they focused most of their lack of sympathy on immigrants and Catholics, and especially immigrant Catholics, a category into which not many Native Americans fell.

I am not literally a Know Nothing, since I know a few things. Specific to today’s news, I don’t know nothing about no-no things.

EFL
Team		Wins	Losses	Pct.	GB	RS	RA
Cottage	Cheese	21	13	0.611	—	201.6	160.6
Canberra	Kangaroos	20	14	0.589	0.7	157.2	131.4
Portland	Rosebuds	20	15	0.582	0.9	153	131.1
Old Detroit	Wolverines	20	15	0.558	1.8	142.4	127.2
Brookland	Outs	19	15	0.555	1.9	174.9	157.8
Kaline	Drive	21	17	0.544	2.1	181.2	166
Flint Hill	Tornadoes	19	16	0.536	2.5	152	141.5
Haviland	Dragons	18	20	0.47	4.9	151.5	163.1
Pittsburgh	Alleghenys	14	21	0.412	6.8	185.3	221.4
Peshastin	Pears	13	22	0.382	7.9	151.8	192.1
D.C.	Balk	12	22	0.368	8.3	118.5	159

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Cottage: L, 2 – 6.   (.174, .269, .326; 20 ip, 13 er) For example, one thing I know about no no things is that if you want to be somebody in the EFL you need one.  The first-place Cheese had the first one, from unlikely source Sean Manaea.   I say “unlikely” since no one that I know of saw this coming, and also since Manaea yesterday gave up 4 earned runs in 5.7 innings. Ivan Nova did even worse (5 er in 2 ip), so Manaea didn’t fall as far as he might have.

Canberra:  W, 4 – 3.

Portland: W, 5 – 0.

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Old Detroit:  L, 5 – 9. (.205, .308, .528; 19.3 ip. 10 er).  The Wolverines are 6/9 of somebody. Their young stud Walker Buehler pitched the first 6 innings of a no hitter last week in Mexico. I frankly expected the Ws to be basking in second or third place glory befitting their somebodiness. That was before all these upstarts,  these hoi polloi,  these unwashed masses who know nothing about no-no things crashed the gates and trampled the flower beds — or, in the case of the Rosebuds, were the flower beds allowing themselves to be trampled.

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Brookland: W 2, L (-1); 10 – 1.

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Kaline: W 3, L 1; 22 – 10. (.308, .364, .615; 15.7 ip. 5 er) . The latest arrival at the EFL Hall of Somebodiness is Kaline, thanks to James Paxton’s brilliant no hitter yesterday. You’ve probably read about all the firsts his feat produced: first Canadian to pitch a no hitter in Canada; first time no hitters have been pitched in three different countries, first player to throw a no hitter and allow an eagle to perch on him in the same season; and so on. Here’s one you probably haven’t seen before: Paxton’s was the first no hitter pitched against a teammate as the opposing starting pitcher.

Flint Hill: W, 7 – 4.

Haviland: W 2, L 2:

Pittsburgh: W (-1), L 2;  3 – 11. 

Peshastin: L, 1 – 3.

D.C.: W (-1), L 2: 5 – 14. 

 

Some of you may be wondering why you got no write up.  I guess I just lined up all the non-no-hitting teams and threw my own little no-no at them.  But I gave you fair warning: “one thing I know about no no things is that if you want to be somebody in the EFL you need one.”