(Note: a mysterious glitch has appeared in my process of updating the league stats, just yesterday and today, just about pitchers, which corrected itself somehow yesterday but not today. While I spent two hours carefully documenting that what was happening was impossible, Jamie unbeknownst to me processed the stats update, leaving to me the writing part. Thank you, Jamie! And curse you, technology demons!
My best theory is this: Dave has been cussing at his computer over all the times I ask Dave frustrating questions, and the computer has determined that the level of frustration from its beloved owner has reached the preset limits, so the computer did something to take appropriate vengeance on the thing disturbing its master. Yesterday was just a temporary suspension, a warning shot. Today Dave’s computer has put me on the permanent restricted list. If only my computer loved me as much.)
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 11 | 3 | .786 | — | 84.1 | 43.8 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 10 | 4 | .729 | 0.8 | 59.3 | 36.1 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 7 | 3 | .695 | 2.1 | 63.1 | 41.8 |
| Haviland Dragons | 8 | 5 | .647 | 2.1 | 54.5 | 40.3 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 8 | 5 | .646 | 2.1 | 72.0 | 53.3 |
| D.C. Balk | 7 | 3 | .654 | 2.5 | 47.7 | 34.7 |
| Kaline Drive | 8 | 5 | .589 | 2.8 | 58.2 | 48.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 8 | 7 | .556 | 3.2 | 64.3 | 57.5 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 7 | 6 | .552 | 3.3 | 57.9 | 52.1 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 7 | 8 | .485 | 4.2 | 64.5 | 66.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 5 | 9 | .379 | 5.7 | 75.5 | 96.6 |
(And why shouldn’t it love me? I make beautiful things with my computer, including these colorful standings, with the right team at the top! But probably not for long.)
(One more note: today’s standings are a sacrament, practically, since I am writing them while attending church. Via Zoom, of course. I am not quite confident enough of my theology to try this while attending in person. My pastor is right now GUESSING at a possible mid-June start of meeting in person outside. Which will make this form of worship impossible.)
Old Detroit: L, 3 – 6. (37 PA, .214, .333, .214; 8 ip, 5 er, 5.63 ERA). In what might have been the worst day of the last two weeks for the Wolverines, and the absence of three of the projected top four W hitters, Josh Bell finally took leadership of the offense. Unfortunately, he was going the wrong direction (0 for 5, no walks). Fortunately, Bell’s leadership is still developing, so everyone else managed to reach first base once or twice.
Flint Hill: W, 4 – 2. (34 PA, .250, .294, .344; 15 ip, 3 er, 1.80 ERA). I am not sure why the Tornados didn’t gain more than half a game with all that marvelous pitching. Yu Darvish spun 7 sterling innings (1 er), and German Marquez followed with 7 bronze innings (2 er). Meanwhile Enrique Hernandez went 4 for 5 with a double.
Canberra: W 2, L 0; 15 – 9. (32 PA, .355, .375, .710; 19.6 ip, 9 er, 4.13 ERA)
Friday I tried to explain to Connor, the kid living with us while he works to finish high school, how the mean, median, and mode work. Too bad I didn’t have these standings to work with. The mean number of games behind in our league (counting the team that’s 0 games behind) is 2.6. The median is 2.5 (the Balk), a little lower than the mean because the Cheese are behaving a little extremely,
The mode, however, is only 2.1, and begins at third place in the league! This is a great thing if you want pennant race drama. It means the two leaders have a pack of hounds on their tails! Well, ok, a … mass (I guess?) of improbable marsupials, impossible monsters, and immovable mountains.
The marsupial members of this memorable assembly leapt from 6th to 3rd place. They got a TON of reasonably solid pitching, and added another ton of outstanding offense. Dane Dunning’s 6 shutout innings made up for Joey Lucchesi’s 3 earned runs in 3 innings. Vlad Guerrero went 2 for 5 with a homer and walk to provide the solid foundation on which Jackie Bradley Jr could scamper for a triple, two singles and a stolen base in 4 plate appearances.
Haviland: W (-1), L 0; (-7) – (-6) (41 PA, .118, .268, .206; 6.7 ip, 3 er, 4.03). Not one of the Dragons’ better days – but still good enough to advance 0.2 games toward first and mix in the middle of the menagerie menacing the league leaders. Maikel Franco was nearly the entire offense (3 for 5 with a homer), the rest of the team going 1 for 29. Tyler Glasnow stifled the Yankees — go Glasnow! — allowing 1 earned run in 5 innings.
Pittsburgh: W 0, L 2; 9 -11. (31 PA, .222, .323, . 296; 8.3 ip, 6 er, 6.51 ERA). A double loss might have moved the mountains further from first if the W’s hadn’t had a slightly worse day. Luis Robert had a good day (2 for 4 with a stolen base) and Garrett Hampson basically matched him (2 for 4 with a double). They can be credited with keeping the A’s from plummeting past the third place pile.
DC: W 2, L 0; 9 -7. (47 PA, .273, .319, 432; 10 ip, 3 er, 2.70 ERA). Xander Bogaerts could teach Josh Bell a few things. Most urgently, how to lead in the right direction, which turns out to be essentially the opposite of 0 for 5: 4 for 5 with a double. Triston McKenzie led on the pitching side, with 5 shiny innings (1 earned run). We can thank the Balk that our median leans clearly toward excellence, coming in 0.1 games ahead of the mean.
Kaline: W 0, L(-1); (-2) – (-6). (44 PA, .275, .341, .600; 3 ip, 3 er, 9.00 ERA. The offense was great, including 2 more homers from Willson Contreras, and a fine 3 for 5 with two doubles from Jesse Winker. But Kwang Hyun Kim continued to struggle. He’s had 3 appearances so far in 2021, including 2 starts. All that amounts only to 5 innings, because of the 9 earned runs he has allowed. On the other hand, he may be getting better. Before yesterday’s 3 innings of 9 ERA pitching, he had only completed 2 innings for 6 earned runs, a 27.00 ERA. Next time, if the trend continues, he should be good for at least 6 innings of 3.00 ERA, and he’ll be fine
Peshastin: W (-1), L 2; 1 – 10. (34 AB, .185, .265, .185; 6 ip, 6 er, 9.00 ERA). The Pears copied the Kaline ERA, but did it over twice the innings. Huascar Ynoa was the bad kind of goat, coughing up 3 homers and 6 earned runs in 4 innings. Yimi and Genesis patched things up just enough to keep the Pears ahead of the Cascade by providing 2 earned-run free innings. (Yes I left out Garcia and Cabrera’s last names, but with Huascar Ynoa setting his colorful example with both names, I thought it fitting to highlight Yimi and Genesis’ equally ear-catching names.)
Bellingham: W 1, L 1; 10 – 7. (40 PA, .324, .375, .351; 8 ip, 2 er, 2.25) Staying in front of the Cascades is no small feat, especially after their Saturday doubleheader. They exhibited no power, living almost entirely on singles– only one Rhys Hoskins double and three walks spicing up the bland but nourishing fare. As for pitching: Brett Anderson pitched 7 scoreless. Jake McGee’s small chulk (1 ip, 2 er) may have been the main thing keeping the Cascades behind the Pears.
Portland: L, 3 – 7. ( 34 PA, .226, .294, .323; 3.4 ip, 2 er, 5.29 ERA). The Rosebuds sank back under .500, perhaps only for the moment, sunk by weak hitting and sparse (and weak) pitching. Joe Jimenez can be tabbed for the pitching problems, only managing 0.7 ip while surrendering 2 earned runs for a modest triple chulk.
Cottage; L, 3 – 6. ( 75 PA !!!, .290, .297, .377; 1 ip, 0 er, 0.00 ERA). Do you see what I see? A HUGE number of plate appearances. Four batters went 0 for the day, accounting for 20 plate appearances. If only the Head Cheese had tuned his vast offensive resources to leave those 4 deadbeats on the bench, his team could have gone 20 for 55 for a .352 batting average with a .473 slugging percentage. And while you’re at it, Mr. Cheese, you might want to work on walking more than once in 75 plate appearances. Even with a hit by pitch, the Cheese’ OBP was only .007 better than their batting average.
The Cheese has already taken advice offered in an earlier update to transform some of its hitting into pitching for next month. Thank you for setting such a great example for everyone.
Final note: Take heart, Head Cheese. The Cotties are ahead of the Yankees!
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2021
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 11 | 3 | .786 | — |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 10 | 4 | .729 | 0.8 |
| Boston Red Sox | 10 | 4 | .714 | 1 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 7 | 8 | .467 | 4.5 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 7 | 8 | .467 | 4.5 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 7 | 8 | .467 | 4.5 |
| New York Yankees | 5 | 9 | .357 | 6 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 7 | 3 | .695 | — |
| D.C. Balk | 7 | 3 | .654 | 0.4 |
| New York Mets | 6 | 4 | .600 | 0.9 |
| Miami Marlins | 7 | 7 | .500 | 1.9 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 7 | 7 | .500 | 1.9 |
| Washington Nationals | 5 | 7 | .417 | 2.9 |
| Atlanta Braves | 6 | 9 | .400 | 3.4 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 8 | 5 | .646 | — |
| Kansas City Royals | 8 | 5 | .615 | 0.4 |
| Bellingham Cascades | 7 | 6 | .552 | 1.2 |
| Cleveland Indians | 7 | 7 | .500 | 1.9 |
| Chicago White Sox | 6 | 8 | .429 | 2.9 |
| Minnesota Twins | 6 | 8 | .429 | 2.9 |
| Detroit Tigers | 6 | 9 | .400 | 3.4 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cincinnati Reds | 9 | 5 | .643 | — |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 8 | 6 | .571 | 1 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 7 | 7 | .500 | 2 |
| Chicago Cubs | 6 | 8 | .429 | 3 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 6 | 9 | .400 | 3.5 |
| Cottage Cheese | 5 | 9 | .379 | 3.7 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Haviland Dragons | 8 | 5 | .647 | — |
| Los Angeles Angels | 8 | 5 | .615 | 0.4 |
| Seattle Mariners | 9 | 6 | .600 | 0.4 |
| Kaline Drive | 8 | 5 | .589 | 0.7 |
| Oakland A’s | 8 | 7 | .533 | 1.4 |
| Houston Astros | 7 | 7 | .500 | 1.9 |
| Texas Rangers | 6 | 9 | .400 | 3.4 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 13 | 2 | .867 | — |
| San Francisco Giants | 8 | 6 | .571 | 4.5 |
| San Diego Padres | 9 | 7 | .563 | 4.5 |
| Peshastin Pears | 8 | 7 | .556 | 4.7 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 7 | 8 | .485 | 5.7 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 5 | 10 | .333 | 8 |
| Colorado Rockies | 4 | 11 | .267 | 9 |
You would have no way to know this, unless you read the Transactions, but 13 of those Cheese PA were benched. AND we added a ninth pitcher! So now we’re only 1 short. If the Yankees would just wake up and realize that the solution to their pitching woes is Deivi Garcia, we’d make it to 10 pitchers for the month.