In quick succession, the underwhelming Phillies and the falling Angels figured out what was wrong with them and decisively and surgically removed the problem: they got rid of guys named Joe.
If things don’t turn around quickly, expect them to make another sweep through the organization. Jo Adell is still corrupting the Angels, and Johan Camargo is still spooking the Phillies. Sure, they aren’t managers, so their influence probably doesn’t touch all the players the same. But these kinds of guys can’t be doing their teams any good. That’s obvious now, right?
Have you deJoed YOUR team? What are you waiting for? Will it take a 12-game losing streak for you to do what needs to be done?
If any team is immune to Joebitis, it’s probably the Alleghenys. They can’t really fall any further, so what does it matter? Furthermore, the A’s seem to have power over their fate in ways the rest of us do not. Consider this, for example: over the first two days of this week, the Mariners (their MLB Week 10 opponents) scored 8 runs and allowed 8 runs. Over the most recent two days, the M’s scored 8 and allowed 8. This being a 7-day, 6-game week, it will be interesting to see how the A’s manage another 8 – 8 stretch. Do you think that is improbable? Maybe for you and I, it might be. But to the Alleghenys it’s easy. They have those 7 EFL championships, right? Doesn’t that seem improbable?
The only Joe to appear for the As this week, so far, is Jose Berrios. Berrios has been occasionally disastrous from the mound, but not this week. The fates of Joes higher than himself has, apparently, grabbed his attention. He went 7 innings with only 2 runs allowed. Either that, or the Alleghenys’ used their odd power over the probabilities in their environment to protect themselves from the Spanish strain of Joebitis.
The Pears sneer at danger. Their soft, juicy image belies their indominatability. They have TWO Joes atop their roster: outfielder Jo Adell, and catcher Joey Bart. Both men try to hide their joeity by dropping or adding a letter to their name, but the disguise fools no one.
Perhaps the Pears should drop the bravado and their Joes. They have a good team, after all. This week, so far, the batters are going .237, .312, .491 plus only 9 replacement PA. The pitching has been scanty — only 12.3 of the needed 21 innings — but what there is has been good (2.20 ERA from four named pitchers). A team that good should not be rotting in 10th place. It’s not like your Joe’s are helping you — they’ve combined this week for 13 plate appearances, 6 k’s, and a. .167, .231, .250 slash line.
If we had to cast an EFL owner as Joe Maddon in a movie, I think it would have to be Mark Johnson, the owner/manager of the Portland Rosebuds. The ‘Buds also have a Jo right atop their roster: pitcher Joan Adon. Jo Adon has been 0% active most of the year, as I recall, and is so now — clearly an attempt by Portland management to protect its team from Joebitis.
It isn’t working. Their MLB opponents this week are the Padres. The Padres so far have scored 17 to 4 for an expected winning percentage of .948! Joan Adon pitched 3 innings in the minors, allowing 8 earned runs… which technically didn’t count against the team, but the next guy on the pitching roster (Shane Baz) is injured and the NEXT guy (Dylan Bundy) coughed up 5 earned runs in 2.3 innings pitched — a chulk, not as big as Adon’s, but still a clear chulk. The next guy hasn’t pitched yet this week, and the NEXT guy — Kevin Gausman — surrendered 3 runs in 3.7 innings, and the NEXT guy (Jon Gray) allowed 5 runs in 5 innings. Finally, the NEXT guy — young Hunter Greene — pitched 7 shutout innings. Joan Adon is not active for the Rosebuds, notice how his bad influence runs all the way to another Jo — Jon Gray. They are like bookends of doom.
Now we come to a delicate topic, which we will face several more times in this post: Mark Johnson is arguably a Jo(e)…
There are no Joes on the Bellingham Cascades. No Jos, no Joans, no Jons, no Johns. They have decent offense (4.8 rc/g) and OK pitching (4.51 ERA). Why can’t they get over the hump and play above .500?
The Cascades’ OPS leader this week is DJ LeMaheiu. D J. The J stands for John. “But,” I hear you squawking. “DJ LeMaheiu is leading the team in OPS. He can’t be sabotaging the team.”
You probably think Shoeless Joe wasn’t in on the scheme to throw the World Series because he batted over .300. Think about that. Shoeless Joe.
And anyway, there’s A J Minter, too, on the Cascades. Alex Jordan Minter.
The Kaline Drive are riddled with Joes. The pitching roster starts with one (Joe Barlow), ends with one (Jose Urquidy) and has one hidding in the middle (JT Brubaker — ie, Jonathan Trey). No batters seem to be Joes, but the team manager and owner is an admitted Johnson. So it’s no surprise they face this week a New York Yankee team outscoring its opponents 18 – 8, turning Kaline’s expected winning percentage (.665) into .282 trash.
I know it’s difficult when one’s own name is Joe-adjacent, but it may be that a roster Joe purge would help mitigate the risk of Joebitis, and might lead Kaline to the promised land.
The last we checked, Canberra’s MLB foe (the Washington Nationals) were outscoring their opponents 15 – 12. The Nats fixed that in a hurry last night, getting whomped 12 – 2 to register a more Nat-ural ratio of 17 – 24. Also, I found a mangled cell in the spreadsheet that was preparjng to saddle the Kangaroos with 187 replacement innings. I fixed, checked other teams, and last week’s Kangaroo archived sheet. None of them had that mangled cell.
Those two corrections helped elevate the Kangaroos to a nice .691 winning percentage this week so far, despite having Jose Igesias (only OPSing .500) and the more discreet JD (Jonathan) Davis (still only OPSing .558). And then there is Jhoan Duran, with his 1 inning of relief pitched without an earned run. Some think he’s a Jo_ if Joans or Johns are. Others say he can’t be a Jo because J is not next to the O. The controversy, last I checked, was focusing on whether the ‘h” is pronounced or left silent.
The Flint Hill Tornados should probably be quarantined. They are so rife with Joes. Blatant ones like Joe Musgrove (not appeared yet this week) and Joey Gallo (OPSing .964 like Joe Jackson). Obscured Jo_’s like Johnny Cueto (no action yet this week) and Josh Lowe (on the MLB IL?). And the disguised ones like AJ Alexy (0 innings) and CJ Cron (OPSing .450), both Johns. And to top it all off, the head of the organization, a Johnson.
The T’s seem to be thriving this week, with that spiffy .721 winning percentage. But their raw winning percentage is only .370. The Royals inflated the Flint Hill balloon for them — an embarrassment for a windy team like the Tornado — by being outscored 10 – 22.
(I originally had the Tornado’s facing the Cubs, but that was an error. When I switched out the Cubs and switched in the Royals, the opposition’s score went from 10 – 21 to 10 – 22, and the T’s weekly adjusted winning percentage soared from .721 to .739.)
Haviland caught a break when the Bosox only won 7 – 5 over the last two games. That cut the Boston raw expected winning percentage from .977 (13 – 2) to .891, and gave the Dragons a little room to maneuver. Excellent pitching (with Joe Ryan discreetly refraining from appearing) for a team 2.70 ERA, along with solid hitting (5.6 rc/g, despite the presence of Jonah Heim and Jordan Luplow), gave the Dragons a raw winning percentage of .785. For the moment that leaves them with a .310 weekly adjusted percentage but they are with range of beating the Red Sox this week. If their Joebitis – compounded by the Dragonmaster’s double Jo_ status — can be kept under control.
And here is some excellent news on that front: J. T. Realmuto is not a Jo__. Realmuto is a Jacob! He’s only OPSing .692 this week, but it’s still worth it to have a bulwark against Joebitis.
Even with JT’s Jacobin status, the Dragons are getting beat up under our system at the moment. If we were playing under our old system,, the Dragons’ .722 raw percentage would put them at 41 – 16 about 1.3 games ahead of the Wolverines. Well, maybe not quite since April and May results would have been fixed in place before the recent Dragon frenzy. Still, they’d be in first place… I’d like to see this rectified over the next few weeks. Ideally by the Wolverines doing better, but even if only by the Dragons not being so dramatically penalized for playing MLB teams who were at their best.
The Seraphim join their kinsmen the Cascades as the only EFL teams entirely Joe-free. How have the Seraphim been rewarded? Well, their EFL foes are the Athletics, currently better known as the Pathletics, outscored 4 – 16 (.059 predicted winning percentage), transforming Salem’s fine .628 weekly showing into a towering, dominant .964. Ronald Acuna is leading the way this week: 6 for 13 with three home runs.
The Balk carry two Jose’s: Jose Alvarado (hasn’t pitched this week) and Jose Quintana (did pitch, but we all wished he hadn’t: 3 ip, 4 er). Maybe the universe thinks that’s enough Joebitis suffering for one team. Because it gave the Balk the Cubs for opponents — they of the 10 – 21 scoring ratio — to elevate the already dominant Balkan .839 raw winning percentage to a stratospheric .958. With six batters OPSing over 1.000, and none over 1.556 (Santiago Espinal), it’s hard to pick a clear star.
Finally, the Wolverines, who have one outright Joe (Joey Wendle, who’s injured) and three Jo_’s: Josh Bell (OPSing .385 this week) Josiah Gray (yet to pitch this week) and Jonathan Loaisiga (on the VIL). Having taken our Joebitis lumps, plus a chulk from our ace Walker Buehler, the Wolverines got key contributions from all of the following, who share one interesting characteristic: Ross Stripling (5 shutout innings) David Phelps (2.3 shutout innings), Luis Garcia (7 for 12 with a double and a homer), and Jurickson Profar (6 for 15 with a double, a homer, and three walks).
Can you detect the common thread there?
They are all players on their second or third stint with the Wolverines. They all either were cast off as no longer wanted or needed, or were reacquired hesitantly out of fear of being burned again. Josh Bell and Jackie Bradley Jr. are also members of this club. Josh is thoroughly back in team ownership’s good graces, even though he’s had a bad week so far. We are still waiting to see if JBJ can come all the way back to enthusiastic approval by OD management.
Joebitis may not be a chronic disorder. All our Jo_s are redeemable. As are our JBJ’s, we hope.