Guess who had the best first week of August. Obviously NOT the Alleghenys, of course, we’ve heard plenty about their woes…
EFL Standings for 2017
EFL | ||||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 73 | 36 | .672 | — | 619.5 | 430.9 |
Cottage Cheese | 72 | 38 | .654 | 1.8 | 604.2 | 434.5 |
Haviland Dragons | 72 | 39 | .649 | 2.2 | 661.0 | 486.3 |
Flint Hill Tornadoes | 71 | 41 | .637 | 3.4 | 575.6 | 432.3 |
Portland Rosebuds | 66 | 45 | .594 | 8.3 | 645.8 | 523.7 |
Kaline Drive | 64 | 47 | .577 | 10.1 | 550.6 | 467.0 |
Peshastin Pears | 61 | 50 | .550 | 13.2 | 547.9 | 502.5 |
Old Detroit Wolverines | 57 | 55 | .510 | 17.6 | 548.7 | 524.1 |
Canberra Kangaroos | 50 | 60 | .450 | 24.2 | 512.4 | 572.2 |
D.C. Balk | 42 | 68 | .381 | 31.8 | 541.0 | 690.8 |
Record since the end of July:
Pittsburgh: W 4, L 1. (.219, .292, .384; 61.3 ip, 28 er). What was all the moaning about? All the A’s had to do was allocate well. They did so. They eliminated 8.3 innings and 17 earned runs from that mediocre pitching line, leaving themselves with a team ERA of 2.53. They eliminated 43.5 of the worst ABs, improving their team slash line to .291, .356, .509. Some of you may have forgotten, during our recent years of Dragon dominance, that the Alleghenys are run by the greatest mastermind in the EFL. Those of you inclined to supply the A’s with pitching aces should never forget this.
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Cottage: W 4, L 2. (.266, .346, .462; 53.7 ip, 24 er, 4.02 ERA.) Mike Trout is in full form: .462 .563, 1.000 for August so far. As the effect of the Alleghenys’ August 7th-tailored allocations wears off, perhaps the Cheese can make a move later this month. But don’t let Pittsburgh get any further ahead.
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Haviland: W 5, L 1. (.245 .329, .469; 77 ip, 16 er) Poor Haviland! Their pitching was so good all across the board in the first week of August they could only meaningfully allocate out the 0.7 ip, 2 er turned in by Enny Romero. On the hitting side, they took out the combined 0 for 6 by Raimel Tapia and Andrew Susac. So that 5 win, 1 loss record was an entire team effort. Without more scapegoats, how will the Dragons propitiate the baseball demons?
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Flint Hill: W 4, L 4. (.214, .282, .346; 64 ip, 20 er ). Those darn Red Sox climbed back into first among MLB teams in the AL East, forcing the Tornados to try to cover 8 games while the Alleghenys only had to cover 4. But worry not — the effect will gradually diminish as August unfolds.
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Portland: W 3, L 3. (.234, .323, .445; 56.3 ip, 28 er, 4.47 ERA) Manny Machado blasted a grand slam home run last night. His post-Wolverine OPS: 1.154. His Wolverine OPS in 2017: .756. Sigh.
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Kaline: W 3, L 3. (.244, .287, .391; 60.7 ip, 31 er, 4.60 ERA). The Drive line looks a lit like the Rosebud line, and the Drive don’t even have a suddenly resplendent Manny Machado to help them. Did you notice how the Wizard conjured Yonder Alonso onto the Mariners to platoon with his Danny Valencia? Let’s see if their symbiosis conjures the Drive back into the pennant race.
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Peshastin: W 3, L 3. (.249, .323, .517; 57 ip, 28 er, 4.42 ERA) This W3, L3 stuff is getting boring. Can someone spice this up? No, Carlos Carrasco, I don’t mean “spice it up by allowing 10 earned runs in 7.3 ip.” Trevor Williams’ 7 scoreless innings of 1-hit ball last night — that’s more like it, you old former Wolverine, you.
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Old Detroit: W 6, L 2. (.286, .367, .515; 52.3 ip, 20 er, 3.44 ERA). Now that’s more like it! Notice how the W’s DIDN’T crumble under the weight of 8 games (after allocating 12 ip, and 11 er out of the pitching line). More evidence that the EFL teams in the AL East should swap places in the standings, if the world were just.
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Canberra: W 3, L 3. (.283, .331, .494; 41.7 ip, 32 er, 6.91 ERA). Sigh. Faulty pitching undermined the Kangaroos. Only Dellin Betances (3 ip, 0 er) and Wandy Peralta (2.3 ip, 1 er) managed ERA’s under 4.50.
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DC: W 6, L 0. (172 PA, .335, .374, .578. 40.7 ip, 11 er, 2.43 ERA) Woah! What’s this? Suddenly the Balk have mastered this game. Andrew Benintendi is OPSing 1.457 so far this month. Dylan Bundy has twirled 15 innings with only 2 earned runs. When the prospects turn the corner, a team can be transformed! Here’s the hottest start in August. Look out, Canberra!
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017
AL East | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Flint Hill Tornadoes | 71 | 41 | .637 | — |
Boston Red Sox | 63 | 49 | .563 | 8.4 |
New York Yankees | 59 | 51 | .536 | 11.4 |
Tampa Bay Rays | 58 | 55 | .513 | 13.9 |
Old Detroit Wolverines | 57 | 55 | .510 | 14.2 |
Baltimore Orioles | 56 | 56 | .500 | 15.4 |
Toronto Blue Jays | 52 | 59 | .468 | 18.9 |
NL East | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Washington Nationals | 66 | 44 | .600 | — |
Miami Marlins | 52 | 58 | .473 | 14 |
Atlanta Braves | 51 | 59 | .464 | 15 |
New York Mets | 49 | 60 | .450 | 16.5 |
Canberra Kangaroos | 50 | 60 | .450 | 16.5 |
D.C. Balk | 42 | 68 | .381 | 24.1 |
Philadelphia Phillies | 40 | 69 | .367 | 25.5 |
AL Central | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 73 | 36 | .672 | — |
Cleveland Indians | 59 | 50 | .541 | 14.2 |
Kansas City Royals | 57 | 54 | .514 | 17.2 |
Minnesota Twins | 54 | 56 | .491 | 19.7 |
Detroit Tigers | 51 | 60 | .459 | 23.2 |
Chicago White Sox | 41 | 68 | .376 | 32.2 |
NL Central | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Cottage Cheese | 72 | 38 | .654 | — |
Chicago Cubs | 58 | 52 | .527 | 13.9 |
Milwaukee Brewers | 59 | 55 | .518 | 14.9 |
St. Louis Cardinals | 56 | 56 | .500 | 16.9 |
Pittsburgh Pirates | 56 | 57 | .496 | 17.4 |
Cincinnati Reds | 46 | 66 | .411 | 26.9 |
AL West | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Haviland Dragons | 72 | 39 | .649 | — |
Houston Astros | 71 | 40 | .640 | 1.1 |
Kaline Drive | 64 | 47 | .577 | 8 |
Seattle Mariners | 57 | 56 | .504 | 16.1 |
Los Angeles Angels | 55 | 56 | .495 | 17.1 |
Texas Rangers | 53 | 58 | .477 | 19.1 |
Oakland A’s | 50 | 62 | .446 | 22.6 |
NL West | ||||
TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
Los Angeles Dodgers | 79 | 32 | .712 | — |
Portland Rosebuds | 66 | 45 | .594 | 13.1 |
Colorado Rockies | 64 | 48 | .571 | 15.5 |
Arizona Diamondbacks | 63 | 48 | .568 | 16 |
Peshastin Pears | 61 | 50 | .550 | 17.9 |
San Diego Padres | 49 | 62 | .441 | 30 |
San Francisco Giants | 44 | 70 | .386 | 36.5 |