Adieu to April

April almost went out like a lion — at least from the Australian point of view.

Haviland: L, (-1) – 3.  (.143, .211, .171; 12.7 ip, 5 er).  Some of you may remember the Chief Dragon wondering at the draft yesterday why the daily update wasn’t done at 7:15 AM just so he could crow about the bad day the Wolverines had Friday.  Well, the Commissioner lives to make EFL owners happy, so he got up at 6 am on a SUNDAY to get the darn update done so the Chief Dragon could crow about it at church this morning. But look at this!  The Dragons had their worst day of the season so far, coming within a hair of losing their entire 1.6-game lead in a single day.  I wonder if there’ll be any crowing at church this morning.

Canberra:  W 2, L  (-1); 13 – 0. (.488, .521, .814 — Happy Edgar Martinez Day! (And then some!); 8 ip, 0 er).  So, so, so close! The Kangaroos came just this far from ending the month in first place and, for the first time ever, not having the right to match anyone at the next monthly draft. The much maligned Rick Porcello dominated from the mound, and almost every Kangaroo batter really did batter opposing pitchers.  If only it had been every Kangaroo batter doing the battering: the ‘Roos would be in first place.  Who was this sluggardly “slugger”?  Who managed only a walk in 5 plate appearances to bring up the rear in the Kangaroo attack?  Just that slacker Bryce Harper.

I’m sorry, Ryan, I tried to get you your first first place for your birthday. But they wanted to charge me extra for the Bryce Harper Enhancement Option, which I figured wouldn’t be necessary and not worth the $0.75.  My bad.  But here’s some great news: I spent that 75¢ on some pretty good lightly-used birthday candles!

Old Detroit: W, 6 – (-5). (.265, .342, .559; 23.3 ip, 3 er) So this is what good pitching feels like.  I have to say it feels wonderful. Wade Miley finally made me look less stupid for thinking he’d thrive in Safeco.  He pitched a complete game shutout ( the first of his career! ) in Safeco last night. This will save Miley from being benched in May.  Liriano, Erasmo — they did wonderfully, too. Even Colin Rea turned in solid innings (6 of them, with only 2 er).  So when Mike Broadway got busted to the minors yesterday (thanks, Giants), I activated Rea to the tippy-top most maximumest: 3%.   So the W’s got 0.8 innings of Rea’s 4.61 ERA to take a nibble out of the replacement relief innings we’d accumulated.  Jackie Bradley Jr. turned a mediocre team hitting performance into something much better with his 3 for 3 with a walk, a double, and two triples (3.667 OPS).

Pittsburgh: L,  4 – 4. (.206, .270, .441;  0.7 ip, 0 er)  If you look at the complete MLB/EFL standings below, you’ll notice something really spectacular:  four EFL teams are in first place!   The Dragons lead the AL West — of course. How could they not?  The Kangaroos have edged ahead of the Nationals and the red-hot Mets in the NL East. The Wolverines are barely outpacing the Orioles in the AL East, and the Alleghenys… no, wait, I’m sorry.  The Alleghenys are NOT in first place.  So — ok, it’s hard to get used to saying this, but the Alleghenys languish in second pl…  Wait, wait, I’m so, so sorry.  The Alleghenys are not in second place, either.  Now take it easy, it’s not their fault.  Who could expect the mightiest franchise in EFL history to outpace a Chicago team in this year dominated by the Windy City?

No, I don’t know what their excuse is for trailing the Tigers.   Pedro Alvarez can’t be their whipping boy anymore, not after leading the team again yesterday with his 3 for 5 with a double and a homer. Alvarez’ OPS over the last seven days of April, roughly since he was scapegoated by Pittsburgh’s management:  1.333, leading the team, .448 points ahead of Mike Trout, the fabled fifth-best hitter on the Alleghenys.

Portland: W (-1), L 2; 5 – 10. (.233, .324, .433; 8.3 ip, 10 er)  The mighty Mariners battered Yordany Ventura around yesterday with… umm, well 3 hits?  Oh, and 6 walks.  And two well-timed homers, adding up to 5 er in 4 ip.  Chase Anderson almost matched Yordany, taking 4.3 innings and 3 homers to cough up 5 er, to help wilt the Rosebuds on the last day of April.

And yet…

The wilted Rosebuds are in first place in the NL West!  Where all it takes to be on top is to be at or above .500.  And they are only 0.1 games behind the mighty Alleghenys.

Flint Hill: W, 5 – 3.  (.250, .444, .350; 14 ip, 4 er).  The Tornados sent the Pears back into 7th place with a strong performance from both hitters and pitchers. Wil Myers Went 2 for three with 2 doubles and 2 walks to lead the offense.  Jesse Hahn appeared from out of nowhere to produce 6.7 scoreless innings. Mat Latos could have helped Flint Hill with its sibling rivalry issues if he hadn’t surrendered 4 er in 5 ip, making Tornado fans everywhere worry about whether Latos is going to relapse into his bad patterns of the last couple of years.

Peshastin: L, 3 – 6. (.238, .289, .381; 1 ip, 0 er).  April has been a bit of a struggle for the Pears.  Everyone thought they had a good team when the season started, but they have been languishing in the bottom half of the standings all month. Seth Smith homered for the second consecutive day (and the second consecutive plate appearance, too) to keep the Pears from drooping further than one place in the standings on the final day of the month.  Peshastin management spent every last dime in the team coffers at the draft, and picked up some serious talent, so Pear fans are hoping the trend in May will be more consistently upward.

Cottage: W (-1), L 1; 0 – 2 (.143, .308, .429; 0.7 ip, 2 er).  On April 22 — just nine days ago — the Head Cheese published on these pages the following comment:

Huzzah! The Cheese, for the first time all year, have risen to the heights of mediocrity (a goal we share with the Drive). Our other main goal, to beat the Pears, has been way too easy this year, not worthy of huzzahs.

“…way too easy this year…”  Hmm.  Well, at least you got the “not worthy of huzzahs” part right.

Kaline: L, (-1) – 5. (.067, .176, .067; 1 ip, 0 er).  Ben and Sam seem to get a lot of “free days” from their teachers in middle school.  These are days when the teacher does not give a lesson and the kids are not required to do any particular work. In theory they are supposed to use the time to complete homework, read for another class, etc. But I am pretty sure there’s a lot of slacking going on.

I don’t remember ever getting “free days” in school. It’s a trend I am not happy about.  But perhaps I need to relax and get with the times, like the Wizard does.  He apparently gave the Drive a free day to celebrate the end April.  Maybe he is surprised by the results, but I could have told him this would happen.

D.C.: L, 0 – 4.  (.188, .235, .250; 6.3 ip, 1 er. )  The first months of an expansion franchise can be very difficult, as April was for the Balk. But fear not, Balkans! Your long April nightmare is over!  Now you can get started on your long May nightmare.