It’s a NUU Day! ( A Non-Update Update)

No standings update is possible, but we can at least look at some leading indicators.  Like which players made headlines on the MLB website for their Sunday exploits?  These things change by the hour, but at THIS hour the top ten highlights are, in order:

1. Kershaw wins a complete game in which he has the only RBI.
2. Christian Vasquez hits a game-winning homer off Dellin Betances (which I saw live on TV!) — so a Drive homers off a Drive.
3. Arenado hits his 11th homer.
4. With two outs in the bottom of the ninth, Miguel Sano hits a double but gets thrown out trying to turn it into a triple (on a nifty J.D. Martinez to Jose Iglesias to Mike Aviles relay).  So a Dragon throws out a Dragon (with a little mischievous help from a Wolverine), sending the Twins to their 18th loss.
5. Kershaw again.
6. Cubs wear silly suits as they leave for a road trip. .
7. Kangaroo Chris Carter hits two homers and a double. The first one comes off Rosebud Tom Koehler, on his way to  2.1 ip, 8 er near quadruple chulk.
8. Manny Machado dives for a  Cheesy Todd Frazier  grounder. It deflects up off the end of Manny’s glove, but somehow fellow Wolverine JJ Hardy reaches back and snags it, and then throws just in time to Kangaroo Chris Davis. It is truly heartwarming to see the mammals teaming up to devour the milk products. 
9. Wolverine Gregory Polanco hits a homer into the Allegheny River. 
10. Jason Grilli gets Anthony Rizzo to fly out to the warning track for the final out to nail down the Atlanta Braves’ win against the Cubs. If only the Cubs had a real body of water beyond the left field bleachers instead of the phony Waveland Avenue. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. I’ve walked on it.  There aren’t any waves on “Wave”land Avenue.

Other highlights:

•  Jake McGee strikes out Balk Welington Castillo, who was  pinch-hitting as the tying run at the plate, to secure the Rockies’ win. There is a certain satisfaction in this.
• Drive Marcus Stroman celebrates his 25th birthday by pitching 8 innings and allowing only 1 run. There is a different satisfaction in this.
• Rosebud Chris Sale holds the Orioles to one run for 5.3 innings.
• Blake Wood, making his Pear debut (maybe — he has to get allocated for some innings yet), shuts out the Pirates for two innings to get a win. Balk Scott Schebler delivers the game winning double in the 11th.
• The Tigers beat the Twins thanks to a homer by Nick Castellanos and a double by Jarrod Saltalamacchia (both of them Alleghenys). (Plus, of course, the aforementioned TOOTBLAN by Miguel Sano.)
• Pear Max Scherzer (7 shutout innings) bests Dragon Carlos Martinez (6.7 ip, 4 er) in St. Louis.
• Dragon Vincent Velasquez (6 shutout innings) outduels Pear Danny Salazar (7 ip, 2 er) in Philadelphia.  So the Pears get 14 ip, 2 er, while the Dragons get 12.7 ip, 4 er.  Advantage Pears, but really advantage both of them versus the rest of the league. 
• Rosebud Kole Calhoun walks to force in a run against Cole Hamels. (Kole – Cole: get it?)
• Allegheny Domingo Santana leads off the Brewers/Marlins game with a homer off Koehler. (Cole and Kole are about equally Coal, but Santana’s victim is Koehler.)
• Stinking Allegheny Jose Altuve leads off the Astros/Athletics game with a homer against Tornado Doug Fister. (Sorry, Jamie — it’s been hard to get the Tornados into this thread. Give me something better to work with next time.)
• Finally: former Allegheny (and formerer Wolverine) Shelby Miller coughs up 3 runs in 3.2 innings to improve his season ERA to 8.49.  And he only cost the D-backs current Alleghenys Aaron Blair (3.18 ERA so far), Ender Inciarte and Dansby Swanson.

Quiz: if he’s your general manager, how much longer does Dave Stewart keep his job?  Or is the uninterrupted tenure of his EFL alter ego in the Wolverine front office giving Stewart the cover he needs to avoid the axe?