I was so proud of yesterday’s post, the first for June, EFL baseball back on the air. I had a great theme, I had a great joke I pulled on Ryan and his good-sport response, I had running gags. And I had the Wolverines in first place.
But then I got a note from Jamie Johnson… The Johnsons are the league’s most hard-working practitioners of step 2 in our error-correction process:
- The Commissioner makes an error.
- An EFL owner spots the error, tells the Commissioner.
- The Commissioner fixes the error (or sometimes Dave has to fix it for him).
- Repeat.
The younger the Johnsons are, the harder they work at this. Jamie is pretty young. (He may be pretty old, too, but we’ll have to wait and see.)
Anyway… I got a note from Jamie Johnson in which he speculated that maybe I had loaded his entire season’s worth of stats, instead of just June’s.
It was awful. He was right. Which means the Commissioner has done that three times in the last dozen or so updates. I had a busy day Thursday so I couldn’t fix it right away. I believe I have fixed it now.
If you are a teensy bit skeptical that I do have it right now, that’s fine. Mild, non-incapacitating skepticism is a good approach to life. Without it faith is impossible, if you define faith as “acting as if something is true even when you don’t know for sure it’s true.” I am not troubled by an undercurrent of doubt in the Commissioner. Our error correction system, so vital to the league, runs on mild doubt about the Commissioner.
But in this case I can bolster your faith with evidence. The W’s are back in third place. Clearly their tenure in first place was just too good to be true, and is already over. The Rosebuds are there now, as foretold in the dark days of winter. Take comfort all ye who would otherwise despair: at least the standings are correct now.
EFL Standings for 2018
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Portland Rosebuds | 35 | 26 | .581 | — | 292.3 | 245.6 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 35 | 25 | .578 | 0.3 | 265.0 | 225.7 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 34 | 24 | .578 | 0.4 | 242.4 | 207.1 |
| Brookland Outs | 35 | 27 | .571 | 0.5 | 337.7 | 291.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 30 | 28 | .522 | 3.7 | 243.3 | 232.3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 32 | 30 | .511 | 4.2 | 316.0 | 309.0 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 31 | 29 | .509 | 4.4 | 316.2 | 317.4 |
| Haviland Dragons | 30 | 32 | .486 | 5.8 | 266.2 | 276.5 |
| Kaline Drive | 30 | 32 | .485 | 5.9 | 269.9 | 278.4 |
| D.C. Balk | 26 | 34 | .428 | 9.2 | 243.2 | 280.7 |
| Peshastin Pears | 25 | 36 | .417 | 10 | 253.3 | 301.1 |
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Portland: DNP, 0 – (-2). (.348, .375, .522; 10 ip, 2 er). Jose Berrios tossed a complete game, allowing only 2 earned runs, and the thin red line of the travel-day Rosebud offense managed to turn 24 plate appearances into a big day at the plate. With the Wolverines suddenly jammed into reverse, it was a cinch for the Rosebuds to assume the EFL mantle.
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Canberra: DNP, (-1) – 2. (.161, .235, .452; 0.3 ip, 2 er). It’s a little surprising the Kangaroos managed to keep their grip on second place. With his homer and a double in four trips to the plate, Alex Bregman saved his team from falling into third or fourth place.
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Old Detroit: W (-3), L (-1); (-23) – (-12). This grotesque result is entirely due to the messed up situation in the AL East, where the Red Sox have played 5 more games than the Yankees. Right now the Sox are more games above .500, but the Yankees have the better winning percentage. Yesterday the Red Sox lost so the Yankees moved ahead, I guess, and the W’s (and Tornadoes) saw four games evaporate from their records.
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Brookland: DN, 1 – (-2). (.367, .400, .667; 2 ip, 0 er). Cody Bellinger is starting to hit like he was supposed to: 3 for 4 yesterday with a homer, a double, and a walk. Jose Martinez is even hotter : 2 for 3 with a walk yesterday, batting .500, .526, .833 in June.
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Flint Hill: W (-3), L (-1); (-17) – (-13). (.233, .258, .367; 7 ip, 0 er). Flint Hill is tough. They withstood the loss of two months’ statistics, and four evaporated games, and are still exactly as many games out today as they supposedly were yesterday. Perhaps the Tornados are just the most consistent team in the league, churning out the same ratio of run scored and allowed every day. I think I can skip updating them the rest of the year. We’ll just put them 3.7 games out of first from here on out. Miles Mikolas will pitch 7 innings every day and allow 0 earned runs.
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Cottage: W 1, L 1; 2 – (-1). (.250, .318, .700; 6 ip, 2 er). Joc Pederson was supposed to be the stud Bellinger was instead. Yesterday, for maybe the first time ever, both LA prospects met expectations. Joc did it by going 3 for 5 with a double and two homers.
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Pittsburgh: W 1, L (-1); 0 – 0. (.391, .440, .478; 1 ip, 0) How did the Alleghenys score only one run with those raw batting stats? Even without adding a game to their record, that OPS should have gotten more than 1 run added to their season totals with that hitting. Well, here’s one thing: Steven Piscotty went 3 for 3 yesterday, but he’s allocated at 0% this month. Of course, this is only temporarily comforting. Pittsburgh has all three of his roster moves left, so he can activate most of Piscotty today if he wants.
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Haviland: L, 3 – 5. (1.000, 1.000, 2.000; 4 ip, 5 er). Wow! What a batting line! I’ve never seen its equal for an entire team. Does this mean the Dragons are still batting, rapping out double after double? Well, no, it means they had only one batter Thursday (Yasiel Puig) who pinch hit a double.
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Kaline: “L”, 4 – 4. (.304 .304, .652; 6 ip, 1 er). Jesse Winker could have been a Dragon yesterday: he also went 1.000, 1.000, 2.000, although in his case it means he went 3 for 3 with a homer. Winker’s having a good June: 8 for 20 with a double, a homer and three walks, for a 1.078 OPS. That’s even better than Leonys Martin’s 1.059 June OPS (7 for 25 with two doubles, a triple, two homers, and 4 walks).
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DC: W 1, L (-1), 3 – 0. (.286, .362, .548; 0.7 ip, 0 er). An enviable batting line. Any team that did this regularly would walk away with the league title. Newly-acquire Danny Valencia led the way with his 2 for 4 with a homer and a walk.
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Peshastin: W (-1), L 1; 0 – 1. (.192, .276, .385; 5 ip, 3 er). Notice how little it took to flip the Pears from 26 – 35 to 25 – 35: 1 run scored against them. (Actually, it was 1.2 runs.) Notice also that the the Pears actually gained a half-game on first place. Most of that was the Wolverines dropping 4 games from their record — the Pears did lose about 0.4 games’ ground to the Rosebuds. But still, about 38% into the season, our last place team is still within 10 games of first place. Quite a few teams have made up deficits like that to win their divisions over the course of MLB history. The Pears are still not out of it.
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In fact, the Pears, in 11th place, are closer to the lead in the EFL than 5 of the 6 last place teams in MLB, all of whom are in 5th place. The only last place team closer than 10 games to first among its MLB competitors is the San Diego Padres in the thoroughly mediocre NL West which is really led, in ironic reality, by the Portland Rosebuds (and trailed by the Pears).
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At this time last year the spread from first place (Haviland) to last place (DC) was 17.8 games, with just 10 teams involved. We have improved competitive balance top to bottom by 7.8 games, or 44%! Haviland led the Cheese last year by 1.7 games. The Tornados were in 4th place, 2.6 games back. Today the Kangaroos are in second place, 0.3 games back (82% closer) and the Outs are in 4th place, 0.5 game back (81% closer). We have improved the drama in the pennant race by 81%.
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Last year on this date the Wolverines were in 9th place 15.6 games back. Today they’re in 3rd place, 0.4 games back. So, even though this is the day after the W’s brief appearance in first place, we have improved Commissioner happiness by 97.5%. Don’t sneer. Employee morale is always important, so this is good news for everyone. Although it’s probably even more important to keep Dave happy. Last year the Cheese were in second place 1.7 games back. This year they are in 6th place, 4.2 games back.
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Oh well, we can’t have everything. Just think, Dave, if you were 32 – 30 on June 8, 2017, you’d be in 7th place, about 9.5 games back. So you should be happy, too!
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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018
| AL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Boston Red Sox | 43 | 20 | .683 | — |
| New York Yankees | 40 | 18 | .690 | 0.5 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 34 | 24 | .578 | 7 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 30 | 28 | .522 | 10.2 |
| Tampa Bay Rays | 28 | 33 | .459 | 14 |
| Toronto Blue Jays | 27 | 35 | .435 | 15.5 |
| Baltimore Orioles | 19 | 42 | .311 | 23 |
| NL East | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Washington Nationals | 35 | 25 | .583 | — |
| Atlanta Braves | 36 | 26 | .581 | — |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 35 | 25 | .578 | 0.3 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 32 | 28 | .533 | 3 |
| New York Mets | 27 | 32 | .458 | 7.5 |
| D.C. Balk | 26 | 34 | .428 | 9.3 |
| Miami Marlins | 22 | 40 | .355 | 14 |
| AL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Cleveland Indians | 32 | 28 | .533 | — |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 31 | 29 | .509 | 1.5 |
| Detroit Tigers | 30 | 34 | .469 | 4 |
| Minnesota Twins | 27 | 32 | .458 | 4.5 |
| Chicago White Sox | 20 | 40 | .333 | 12 |
| Kansas City Royals | 21 | 42 | .333 | 12.5 |
| NL Central | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Milwaukee Brewers | 37 | 25 | .597 | — |
| Chicago Cubs | 35 | 24 | .593 | 0.5 |
| Brookland Outs | 35 | 27 | .571 | 1.6 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 33 | 27 | .550 | 3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 32 | 30 | .511 | 5.3 |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 31 | 31 | .500 | 6 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 22 | 41 | .349 | 15.5 |
| AL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Seattle Mariners | 39 | 23 | .629 | — |
| Houston Astros | 39 | 25 | .609 | 1 |
| Los Angeles Angels | 35 | 28 | .556 | 4.5 |
| Oakland A’s | 32 | 31 | .508 | 7.5 |
| Haviland Dragons | 30 | 32 | .486 | 8.9 |
| Kaline Drive | 30 | 32 | .485 | 8.9 |
| Texas Rangers | 27 | 38 | .415 | 13.5 |
| NL West | ||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB |
| Portland Rosebuds | 35 | 26 | .581 | — |
| Arizona Diamondbacks | 32 | 29 | .525 | 3.4 |
| Colorado Rockies | 32 | 30 | .516 | 3.9 |
| Los Angeles Dodgers | 31 | 31 | .500 | 4.9 |
| San Francisco Giants | 31 | 31 | .500 | 4.9 |
| San Diego Padres | 29 | 35 | .453 | 7.9 |
| Peshastin Pears | 25 | 36 | .417 | 10 |
We ARE happy. We are back above .500. Woo-hoo!
Paradise Lost was more accurate than I thought. Sigh.
Here’s a little lesson to jot down and remember for the future: if you have a two-way player, it takes 2/3 of your month’s moves to replace him.