Walking Winners

Portland: L, 5-5 (48 PA, .238, .333, .452; 1.7 IP, 1 ER, 5.40 ERA) Portland, I imagine, is happy to have put .3 games between himself and the Tornadoes, especially since his day was mediocre. Scoring 5 runs a game will win some and lose some, just as giving up 5 runs a game will win some and lose some. But it is certainly not a recipe for staying on top of the league, unless the team behind you has an even worse day. Can we talk about Kevin Newman for a second? The Rosebuds made  a splash by trading for a few months of Tatis, Jr., which was, it seems, a good move. But I don’t think it’s the best move he made this summer. The best summer move has been drafting Kevin Newman, who this month is hitting .347, .360, .408, which besides some guy named Mookie is the best on his team. Does anyone even know what Kevin Newman looks like?

Flint Hill: W (-1), L 1, 3-6 (26 PA, .391, .462, .739; 10.7 IP, 10 ER, 8.81 ERA) Happy Edgar Martinez Day! I have to admit, after seeing Joe Jimenez give up 4 ER in 1/3 of an inning, I thought I was doomed. Losing only .3 games to Portland is a testament to the excellent work my guys did with the bat. Last night was an example of how fantasy and real baseball can line up perfectly. My starting LFer, Teoscar Hernandez, was playing against my favorite team, the Red Sox. Hernandez hit two HRs and had 2 BBs, for a 1.000. 1.000. 4.000 line, and the Red Sox won. The best of both worlds! 

Old Detroit: DNP, 3 – (-1) (42 PA, .371, .452, .629; 13.7 IP, 5 ER, 3.29 ERA) Happy Edgar Martinez Day! Three days ago (3 DAYS!!!) the Wolverines were over 8 games back from the Roseburps. Today? 6.4. No need to panic. None at all. Speaking of fantasy and real life colliding, I really want Rafael Devers to continue to crush the ball for the Red Sox. Trust me, I really do. But does he have to do it every single night? Every time he gets a hit (he’s had 18 of them this month for an average of 1.5 hits/game) I simultaneously smile and frown, and do you know what that is doing to my wrinkle lines? Not good! 

Haviland: W 2, L (-1), 17 – (-4) (32 PA, .483, .531, 1.034; 12 IP, 1 ER, .75 ERA) Happy Edgar Martinez on Steroids Day (is that sacrilege?)!I have a problem – who do I write about after a day like this? Harrison Bader was the only Dragon to go hitless yesterday, and Martin Perez was the only Dragon to give up an ER. Everyone else did more than they should have done.The Dragons gained 1.5 games on the Roseburps, and jumped ahead of the Alleghanys for 4th place in the league.

Pittsburgh: “L,” 6-5 (40 PA, .250, .325, .611; 12 IP, 7 ER, 5.25 ERA) Well, there can be no more doubt. I awoke the gremlin, and the results have been pretty good for the Alleghanys. Altuve has resumed his old ways, and it won’t be long before the pitching staff also takes its cue from the little guy.

Canberra: “L,” 7-6  (44 PA, .293, .341, .610; 2 IP, 0 ER, 0.00 ERA) The shrewdest pick-up for the Kangaroos this month is their youngest player, Keston Hiura. He has slashed .400, .474, .780 this month to lead the Roos. Last night he was joined by another young stud, Nick Senzel, and together they led their team to 7 runs scored. A little more pitching and things will be hopping in Canberra. 

Peshastin: W, 4-3 (30 PA, .200, .300, .360; 5 IP, 0 ER, 0.00 ERA) One more double and your slash line would have been a thing of beauty, like your pitching line was. This is the kind of day that is just fine. Some hitting, great pitching, and a nice 4-3 win. Nothing too fancy, just one HR, 1 2B, and 4 walks, and bada bing, bada boom, a win.

Kaline: L, 4-7 (42 IP, .243, .310, .541; 10.3 IP, 8 ER, 6.97 ERA) Is this what you call an MLB hangover? One day after scoring 20 runs the Drive managed a measly 4 runs on their way to a defeat. Kris Bryant and Danny Santana did most of the damage, accounting for all 3 HRs on the day. The pitchers, meanwhile, believed their team would once again score 20 runs, and thus gave up 8 ER (surely we will score more than 10, they thought?). But, alas, they went home defeated. 

Cottage: W, 4-0 (38 PA, .222, .263, .417; 11.7 IP, 2 ER, 1.54 ERA) Ok, Dave. I think you have figured out the problem with your pitching. The guys who threw two days ago? Don’t let them pitch again. Everyone else? Unleash the fromage! Excellent pitching performances from Anderson and Duffy led to a resounding Cheese shutout, and everyone in Cottage is celebrating because at least most of the team is following the plan laid out for them by their owner at the All Star break. 

Bellingham: W, 9-3 (23 PA, .407, .467, .862; 6.3 IP, 2 ER, 2.84 ERA) Happy Edgar Martinez Day! You know what I love most about the Cascade’s roster? Last night, the average age of the players who suited up for them was 31. The oldest (Hunter Pence, 36) was named an All Star, and the second oldest (Brian McCann, 35) OPSed 1.500. How about their pitching staff? Averaging 34 years in age, they combined for a 2.84 ERA on the night. In fact, last night only one player under the age of 30 played for the Cascades, Ronald Acuña, Jr. And you know what he did? He got 0 hits! Maybe you should change your name to the Cascaged…

Brookland: “W,” 3-6 (42 IP, .216, .286, .384; 10.7 IP, 6 ER, 5.06 ERA) 6 out of 9 Out hitters did exactly that – get out every time they came up to bat. 3 of them tried to right the ship (Machado, Gurriel, Jr., and Adam Jones) but it wasn’t enough to overcome the ineptness of the other hitters and the mediocre pitching of Dallas Keuchel (4 ER in 5.7 IP). But at least you still got a win! 

DC: W, 10-7 (31 PA, .333, 419, .630; 8.3 IP, 6 ER, 6.48 ERA) Happy Edgar Martinez Day! Did you notice we had 5 EMDs? That is pretty good day for our league. The Balk provided the 5th and final one, led by 5 hitters who OPSed over 1.000 (Benintendi, Holt, Markakis, McMahon and Russell). Another happy moment for the Balk was the return to form of Mike Clevinger, who threw 6 IP and only surrendered 1 ER. However, if the Balk are interested in earning the number 1 overall pick this next year, they will need to stop having days like yesterday.