Years ago, we used to do a combined Easter with some distant relatives who live in town. A couple of the adults would hide nearly 100 eggs in the backyard, and then unleash 6 kids to hopefully find them all.
Except we never really counted how many we put out. And after a while the interest in the hunt would wane until, whether all the eggs had been found or not, the hunt was ended. Months later, while working or playing in the yard, forgotten eggs would be found, the contents emptied to see if the candy inside was still edible.
Today, this Easter Monday, perhaps there are forgotten Easter eggs waiting to be found and opened. Let’s see who might have been your team’s Easter Egg of the Day.
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
RS |
RA |
| Haviland Dragons |
3 |
1 |
.768 |
— |
18.4 |
10.1 |
| Old Detroit Wolverines |
2 |
1 |
.821 |
0.1 |
22.7 |
10.6 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes |
2 |
1 |
.708 |
0.4 |
13.3 |
8.5 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
2 |
1 |
.643 |
0.6 |
20.3 |
15.1 |
| D.C. Balk |
2 |
1 |
.602 |
0.8 |
12.3 |
10.0 |
| Canberra Kangaroos |
1 |
2 |
.452 |
1.2 |
23.8 |
26.2 |
| Portland Rosebuds |
2 |
2 |
.432 |
1.3 |
18.4 |
21.1 |
| Bellingham Cascades |
1 |
2 |
.299 |
1.7 |
7.5 |
11.5 |
| Kaline Drive |
1 |
3 |
.302 |
1.9 |
8.5 |
12.9 |
| Cottage Cheese |
0 |
3 |
.109 |
2.2 |
8.7 |
25.0 |
| Peshastin Pears |
0 |
4 |
.082 |
2.7 |
10.1 |
34.0 |
Haviland: L, -2-(3)
| AVG: 0.114 |
OBP: 0.205 |
SLG: 0.171 |
OPS: 0.377 |
PA: 39 |
| ERA: 4.34 |
WHIP: 1.325 |
IP: 8.3 |
It’s a good thing yesterday was simultaneously Easter and the day after Haviland management’s second dose of the COVID vaccine; otherwise, they might have been too miserable to enjoy the day. The Dragon hitters combined for 4 total hits, with two of them doubles from new members Jonah Heim and Maikel Franco. The pitchers, Domingo German and Tarik Skubal, did ok to helpd salvage some semblance of hope, but the Dragons should take their main solace yesterday from the resurrected Lord and not their team’s performance. The Dragon’s Easter Egg of the Day was Tarik Skubal (5.3 IP and 2 ER).
Old Detroit: W, 11-3
| AVG: 0.417 |
OBP: 0.464 |
SLG: 0.708 |
OPS: 1.173 |
PA: 28 |
| ERA: 1.50 |
WHIP: 1.167 |
IP: 6.0 |
The Wolverines, taking their first day off of writing the update this season, took advantage of being able to devote all of their attention to playing instead of analyzing – and it paid off big time! Nate Lowe and Will Smith both homered, and Jurickson Profar chipped in 2 hits and every Wolverine batter got at least one hit yesterday. On the pitching side, 3 pitchers combined to throw 6 total innings and give up one run. The Wolverines’ jumped from 4th to 2nd in one day. The Wolverine Easter Egg of the Day: Chris Paddack.
Flint Hill: W, 2-0
| AVG: 0.158 |
OBP: 0.233 |
SLG: 0.289 |
OPS: 0.522 |
| ERA: 2.28 |
WHIP: 0.914 |
IP: 19.7 |
Tornado hitting was abysmal yesterday, but it didn’t matter because the pitching (with the worst performer already riding the Tornado pine) was sterling. A total of 6 hits were earned by the Tornadoes in 43 PAs. One of those 6 was a HR by Mazara (allocated at 33%) and another a 2B by Clint Frazier (a stinking Yankee). Our star, Mookie Betts, walked twice but then was caught stealing and then tagged out on another ill-advised baserunning mistake. But the pitching! Zach Eflin in his Tornado debut twirled 7 innings of 1 run baseball, and Julio Urias matched him exactly, to each earn a share of the Tornado Easter Egg of the Day.
Pittsburgh: “W,” 5-5
| AVG: 0.258 |
OBP: 0.324 |
SLG: 0.355 |
OPS: 0.678 |
PA: 34 |
The Alleghenys managed a decent day despite no pitching. It came in the form of 8 hits, led by Christian Vazquez’s 3 hits, one of them a 2B. Every hitter but the two who’s initials are MM got a hit, which means something, but what? The Allegheny Easter Egg of the Day is Christian Vazquez (now make him help the Red Sox win a game, please, Mark!)
DC: “W,” 2-3
| AVG: 0.208 |
OBP: 0.345 |
SLG: 0.208 |
OPS: 0.553 |
| ERA: 3.36 |
WHIP: 1.308 |
IP: 10.7 |
The Balk eked out a win in the standings, though it is one of those fake EFL wins. Balk hitter managed as many hits as walks (5), but none of those hits went for more than a single (yes, even Joey Gallo himself had two hits, both singles!). How about Myles Straw, though? In 4 PAs he managed 3 BBs, to help the Balk OBP our tremendously. Balk pitchers had a good day, hurling almost 11 innings while surrendering only 3 runs. Unfortunately, 3 runs allowed is more than 2 runs scored. Ian Anderson tossed a gem, giving up one run in 5 innings while striking out 7, to earn the Balk Easter Egg of the Day.
Canberra: “L,” 7-7
| AVG: 0.250 |
OBP: 0.290 |
SLG: 0.571 |
OPS: 0.862 |
PA: 31 |
| ERA: 0.00 |
WHIP: 0.000 |
IP: 1.0 |
The Roos slugged their way to 7 runs, but forgot to send enough pitchers to the mound to earn a win. 3 different players hit a HR (Kyle Tucker, Vladito, Mitch Garver) and Alex Bregman chipped in 2 singles. But whether by design or oversight, only one pitcher made an appearance, throwing 1 inning and giving up 0 runs. His name? Emmanuel. Which leads me to believe that the Roos’ lack of pitching eas strategic. On the day most churches celebrated Easter (Orthodox Christians will celebrate May 2nd), the Roos sent out a guy named Emmanuel who put up a 0 (which looks a lot like an empty tomb). Coincidence? I think not. Thus, the Roos owner earns his team’s Easter Egg of the Day for his brilliance!
Portland: L, 1-9
| AVG: 0.147 |
OBP: 0.256 |
SLG: 0.206 |
OPS: 0.462 |
PA: 39 |
| ERA: 9.00 |
WHIP: 2.333 |
IP: 3.0 |
The Rosebuds were basking in the sunshine a bit too much yesterday, it seems, and not playing baseball as they should have been. Five hitters got a hit (two of them 2Bs and the rest 1Bs), and 4 BBs were earned (2 of them by Luis Urias), but nothing much else happened that is worth noting. Luis Urias had the best day, going 1 for 2 in addition to those two BBs. The pitchers didn’t throw many innings, but did enough damage to earn a loss for their team. The Rosebud Easter Egg of the Day goes to Luis Urias.
Bellingham: L, 1-4
| AVG: 0.120 |
OBP: 0.185 |
SLG: 0.160 |
OPS: 0.345 |
PA: 27 |
| ERA: 0.00 |
WHIP: 1.000 |
IP: 1.0 |
The Cascades followed suit among most EFL teams, putting up dreary offensive numbers yesterday. They combined for 3 hits (1 2B and 2 1Bs) total. Hanser Alberto tallied the lone double. And the pitching was good, but minimal, with only AJ Minter appearing for 1 inning. The Easter Egg of the Day goes to Alberto and his double.
Kaline: L, 0-3
| AVG: 0.097 |
OBP: 0.125 |
SLG: 0.129 |
OPS: 0.254 |
PA: 32 |
| ERA: 2.93 |
WHIP: 0.894 |
IP: 12.3 |
The Drive hitting as awful as their pitching was amazing, and as well know, you have score at least one run to win a game. Unfortunately, an OPS of .254 won’t give a team much of anything that it would actually want to keep. The Drive owe ALL of their offense yesterday to one man – Yuli Gurriel, who kept all of the team’s hits (3) for himself. Willson Contreras did not help matters, though, going 0 for 4 with 4 Ks. But the Drive pitching was really good, getting an excellent performance from Aaron Civals (7ip, 2er) and a good performance from Jose Urquidy (4.3ip, 2er). Surprise standout Julian Merryweather tossed another perfect inning to add to the pitching festivities. The Drive Easter Egg of the Day is Yuli Gurriel, whose herculean effort demonstrated that at least someone cares to swing the bat.
Cottage: L, 3-7
| AVG: 0.190 |
OBP: 0.227 |
SLG: 0.381 |
OPS: 0.608 |
PA: 22 |
The Shohei Show came to town last night! Ohtani became the first player in the Statcast era (I think it is about 10 years old) to throw a pitch faster than 100 MPH and hit a ball harder than 110 MPH. Is that not an incredible feat? However, it seems his Cheese teammates were content to watch him do all the work while contributing very little to help the cause. Ohtani was arguably the best offensive AND pitching player on his team yesterday, giving up 2 runs in 4.2 innings while also hitting a 400 foot HR. Alec Bohm did his part to ship in, with 2 hits (both singles) and a SB. The Easter Egg of the Day is Ohtani (duh).
Peshastin: L, 2-9
| AVG: 0.071 |
OBP: 0.316 |
SLG: 0.071 |
OPS: 0.387 |
PA: 19 |
| ERA: 9.00 |
WHIP: 3.000 |
IP: 1.0 |
The Pears, I have to imagine, are glad to see opening weekend in the rearview mirror. It did not go as planned. Now that Easter is over, perhaps they Pears can resurrect themselves into the team projected to do better than theor 0-4 start suggests. Only 4 batters came to the plate, and only one of them got a hit (Ryan Mountcastle with a single. However, those 4 hitters did accrue 5 walks, and you know what they say – the way out of slumps is to walk! Perhaps this will be the beginning of a new week. The pitching was, like Canberra, apparently planned – on a day when the church celebrates the beginning of new life offered through Jesus’ resurrection, the Pears sent a man named Genesis to the mound. Very fitting, indeed. The Pear Easter Egg of the Day goes to Ryan Mountcastle for his 1 hit.
Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2021
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Baltimore Orioles |
3 |
0 |
.000 |
— |
| Old Detroit Wolverines |
2 |
1 |
.821 |
0.5 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes |
2 |
1 |
.708 |
0.9 |
| Toronto Blue Jays |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
1 |
| Tampa Bay Rays |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
1 |
| New York Yankees |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
2 |
| Boston Red Sox |
0 |
3 |
.000 |
3 |
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Philadelphia Phillies |
3 |
0 |
.000 |
— |
| D.C. Balk |
2 |
1 |
.602 |
1.2 |
| Washington Nationals |
0 |
0 |
.000 |
1.5 |
| New York Mets |
0 |
0 |
.000 |
1.5 |
| Canberra Kangaroos |
1 |
2 |
.452 |
1.6 |
| Miami Marlins |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
2 |
| Atlanta Braves |
0 |
3 |
.000 |
3 |
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Detroit Tigers |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
— |
| Minnesota Twins |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
— |
| Kansas City Royals |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
— |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys |
2 |
1 |
.643 |
0.1 |
| Cleveland Indians |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
1 |
| Bellingham Cascades |
1 |
2 |
.299 |
1.1 |
| Chicago White Sox |
1 |
3 |
.250 |
1.5 |
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Chicago Cubs |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
— |
| Cincinnati Reds |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
— |
| Pittsburgh Pirates |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
1 |
| St. Louis Cardinals |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
1 |
| Milwaukee Brewers |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
1 |
| Cottage Cheese |
0 |
3 |
.109 |
1.7 |
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Houston Astros |
4 |
0 |
.000 |
— |
| Haviland Dragons |
3 |
1 |
.768 |
0.9 |
| Los Angeles Angels |
3 |
1 |
.750 |
1 |
| Seattle Mariners |
2 |
1 |
.667 |
1.5 |
| Texas Rangers |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
2.5 |
| Kaline Drive |
1 |
3 |
.302 |
2.8 |
| Oakland A’s |
0 |
4 |
.000 |
4 |
| TEAM |
WINS |
LOSSES |
PCT. |
GB |
| Los Angeles Dodgers |
3 |
1 |
.750 |
— |
| San Diego Padres |
3 |
1 |
.750 |
— |
| Portland Rosebuds |
2 |
2 |
.432 |
1.3 |
| San Francisco Giants |
1 |
2 |
.333 |
1.5 |
| Arizona Diamondbacks |
1 |
3 |
.250 |
2 |
| Colorado Rockies |
1 |
3 |
.250 |
2 |
| Peshastin Pears |
0 |
4 |
.082 |
2.7 |
As is so often the case, today’s update fits right into the advertising strategy down and Trader Ron’s: The Biggest Chumps in the League!
While the Wolverine Easter Egg (Chris Paddock) was acquired in trade, two other teams’ Easter Eggs (Luis Urias and Ryan Mountcastle) were traded away by the W’s. Two more were ex-Wolverines (AJ Minter and Shohei Ohtani) who we lost to owners shrewd enough to outbid us when their OD contract expired — which also describes Paddock (we let ourselves get outbid, and then had to trade to get him back).
A SIXTH Easter Egg (Canberra’s owner) used to live with Wolverine management, but we somehow let him get away, too.
6 of 11 Official Jamie Johnson Certified Easter Eggs have passed through the Wolverine organization. We had to trade to get one of them back. I can’t understand why EFL owners aren’t constantly proposing trades, vying to snap up another great player we let slip from our grasp.