Has MLB ever hyped a mid-season debut like they hyped yesterday’s debut by… what was his name again? You won’t find the Hyped One’s name in this post, probably.
(You know whom we’re talking about, right? He went 0 for 4. Struck out 3 times. His team lost. Probably not ready for the big leagues as a hitter. Got headlines — for his defense? — because he turned a routine double play and stabbed a line drive. So it turns out he’s a no-hit-all-glove superstar? The Andrelton Simmons of third base? Why didn’t this ever come up before?)
We here in EFL League HQ are tired of this guy already — him and his whiny agent. We’re way more interested in the players who did well yesterday…
| EFL | ||||||
| TEAM | WINS | LOSSES | PCT. | GB | RS | RA |
| Old Detroit Wolverines | 7 | 3 | .667 | — | 51.8 | 36.7 |
| Peshastin Pears | 6 | 4 | .619 | 0.5 | 38.2 | 30.0 |
| Haviland Dragons | 6 | 4 | .617 | 0.5 | 49.3 | 38.9 |
| Portland Rosebuds | 6 | 4 | .614 | 0.5 | 45.8 | 36.3 |
| Cottage Cheese | 5 | 4 | .581 | 0.9 | 42.5 | 36.1 |
| Flint Hill Tornadoes | 5 | 5 | .484 | 1.8 | 40.7 | 42.0 |
| Canberra Kangaroos | 5 | 6 | .413 | 2.6 | 47.0 | 56.1 |
| Kaline Drive | 4 | 6 | .381 | 2.9 | 33.9 | 43.2 |
| Pittsburgh Alleghenys | 3 | 7 | .337 | 3.3 | 38.9 | 54.5 |
Old Detroit: W, 2 – 2. .213, .245, .362; 9 ip, 2 er. Kluber, for the third time this season already, turned in a very solid 8 ip, 2 er. Old Detroit’s exciting rookie, Gregory Polanco, had his best game of the season: 3 for 4 with a double and a stolen base. He got no headlines. Meanwhile boring old Welington Castillo went 0 for 4, too, in that game in Chicago, but got no headlines, perhaps because he only struck out twice.
Peshastin: W, 5 – 3. .349, .370, .465; 8 ip, 0 er. Regarding exciting rookies: Devon Travis, who came out of nowhere with no notice, went to for 5 with a homer to run his season line to .375, .419, .700, a level other players we won’t mention will never reach . Behind him the Pears have exciting rookies J.T. Realmuto ( 1 for 3 with a double, batting .300, .364, .500) and Michael Taylor (.279, .326, .535). They sent to the mound a boring old veteran: Max Scherzer, 8 ip, 1 er.
Haviland: DNP, 2 – (-7). .189, .302, .324; 11 ip, 3 er. In this case, the boring old veteran was Jeff Samardzija, who’s been a little too exciting heretofore this season. Yesterday he went 8 innings, 1 earned run. The exciting Dragon rookies were Jake Lamb (2 for 3 with a triple and two walks) and Steven Souza (2 for 4 with a stolen base).
Portland: L, 4 – 5. .220, .304, .390; 10.7 ip, 4 er. Some might say Mookie Betts is the most exciting rookie in the entire EFL. He had an off day (0 for 3 with a walk) and still outperformed what’s his name. So did Dalton Pompey (1 for 3 with a HBP).
Cottage: L, 5 – 5. .308, .341, .410. 7.3 ip, 4 er. Both of the Cheese’s most exciting rookies (first round pick Jorge Soler and infamous second-round pick Arismendy Alcantara) had unexciting days (1 for 5 for Soler with 2 k’s and an RBI; 0 for 1 for AA with 1 k). But still, they hurt the Cheese (and the Cubs) less at the plate yesterday than Mr. Superhype. Tired old former-phenom Wil Myers won that game with a homer.
Flint Hill: W, 8 – 2. .353, .463, .529; 13.7 ip, 4 er. Rookie Joc Pederson was exciting, at least to a sabermetrician, taking two walks yesterday in 4 trips to the plate. Josh Collmenter isn’t a first year rookie, but he was plenty exciting: 9 ip, 0 er! A rare complete game shutout.
Canberra: “W”, 6 – 7. .207, .361, .552; 0 ip, 0 er. “Young” Jose Abreu was the first rookie picked by an EFL team this spring, and so is officially the most exciting rookie in the league. Except today he was in sympathy with his new cross-town rival: 0 for 4, albeit with only 1 strikeout.
Kaline: DNP, 1 – 5. .212, .297, .394; 12 ip, 10 er. As we all know, the Kaline rookie who inspires the most intensity of feeling is Jace Peterson, the erstwhile foundation on which Old Detroit was going to build its dynasty. Jace went 1 for 4 with a walk and an RBI yesterday.
Pittsburgh: W, 9 – 4. .351, .400, .649; 7 ip, 2 er. No rookie is going to sweep the Alleghenys off their rocky foundations. They waited until the Free Agent draft to secure the only rookie they drafted this year: Nick Ahmed — and they signed him as a veteran to disguise his rookieness. Undercover Allegheny Rookie Ahmed managed to underperform the Hyped One, going 0 for 5, albeit with only 2 strikeouts. The original Mike Trout showed how it’s done: 2 homers in 4 trips, 5 RBI, a season line now of .444, .500, .750.
There. That does it. Life goes on pretty much as it did before the Great Delayed Debut of the Next… umm, the Next Mike Trout? Nah. Trout is only 5 months older than this other guy, and he’s already got 101 career homers. I think it’ll take a lot more than 5 months for the Hyped One to get 101 homers, if he ever does. He’s got to work his way up the ladder. Let’s see if he can get past Arismendy Alcantara, first.