Dear Mr. EFL Answer Man:
What is the last day to release “old” rookies?
— Sleepless Northwest of Seattle
Dear Sleepless:
We will decide our roster allocation deadline on Saturday. I think it will be either Sunday noonish or Monday noonish. If you want to release 2023, 2024, 2025, or 2026 rookies (or 2099) without obligation in 2023, you have to do it before the allocation deadline. Please use the transaction page to record your DFAs.
— Mr EFL Answer Man
Dear Mr. EFL Answer Man:
Opening Day has already happened. But I am bidding on players today, and will get some more Saturday, and we won’t even do allocations until Sunday or Monday. If I draft Joe Schroedinger Saturday, how can he play for me on Opening Day?
— A Three-dimensional man
Dear 3-D:
Our league is not limited to three dimensions. We also move around in time, the Fourth Dimension. You will cause, with your allocations submitted Sunday or Monday, your players acquired after Opening Day to be on your roster as of Opening Day. (And if there is any quantum interference, another copy of your player will appear somewhere else in the universe, also on Opening Day.) Late-drafted players will travel faster than the speed of light to get to the ballpark on time Thursday, but they can do that, because they are immaterial. We use our immaterial dollars to employ immaterial versions of real players to play in our immaterial league to win a trophy currently materialized in my office at work, but immaterialized in the hearts of all of us.
— Schroedinger’s Cat
Dear MEFLAM:
How about Adley Rutschman?
— Hopeful in Pittsburgh!
Dear Hopeful:
Yes! How about him, for sure!!
I hereby guarantee — GUARANTEE, I said — if Adley Rutschman goes 5 for 5 with a homer every time he plays, and accumulates enough plate appearances to qualify for the batting title, the Alleghenys will win the EFL Trophy!! For the 8th time. And yes, his Opening Day stats will count, even if he gives up baseball tomorrow to pursue something that’ll give him more of a challenge than a Red Sox Opening Day pitcher.
— Prophet Emeritus
Dear Mr. MELFAM, So who is that masked person called Hopeful in Pittsburgh? Who knew I had a quiet (until now!) fellow traveler in the league. You gotta like that guy. And yes indeed, how about that Rutschman? He nicely balances out Max Muncy striking out 5 times. But alas, I predict that by the end of the season Rutschman’s percentages will be below where he is now, and just maybe Muncy’s will not.
—-Realistic in Pittsburgh