“C’mon guys! Wait up!”

The top three EFL teams took naps yesterday, essentially.  Sure, the ‘Roos walked their way to some runs, but their pitchers were decidedly mediocre. Sure, the Wolverines got some excellent pitching, but their hitters accomplished essentially nothing. And sure, the Dragons were in the middle on both scales. But the result was nearly imperceptible movement in the standings.

Portland: W 2, L (-1); 8 – (-6). (.294, .359, .471; 16.7 ip, 1 er)  Here’s a team going places!  Good hitting, outstanding pitching, a 1.5 – game jump in the standings.  Here’s what seems to be happening: the kid-brother Rosebuds have called out to the top three.  “Come on, guys!  Wait up!” And those top three are waiting up. Which is fine for the Kindly Kangaroos and the Decent Dragons, but I didn’t give the Woeverines permission to wait up for anyone.

Pittsburgh:  W, 10 – 3. (.381, .435, .524 — Happy EMD!;  13.3 ip, 5 er).  And if you wait up for the Rosebuds you can be sure the Alleghenys will try to sneak into the party, too. While I was far too harsh yesterday, reveling in the thought of the Top Allegheny having to read about Aaron Blair in far off Europe, that doesn’t mean we have to invite trouble by waiting around for them to catch up.

Flint Hill; L, 2 – 5. (.244, .295, .341; 18.3 ip, 12 er)  I have the hardest time coming up with interesting stuff to say about the Tornados.  They are the Flint Hill Unremarkable Tornados. Which is… amazing, for tornados. The pitching yesterday kind of strayed from unremarkable toward, I don’t know, painful but endurable: 18.3 ip, 25 hits, 4 homers, 13 strikeouts, 6 walks: really nothing to like there. It’s like a trip to the dentist.  That’s it!  The Flint Hill Dental Exams would be the perfect name, at least for how they played Wednesday.

Peshastin: W, 5 – 2.  (.282, .349, .462;  13.7 ip, 4 er).  You could have a championship team with the elements the Pears put on the field Wednesday.  Solid hitting, very good pitching — that’s at least a play0ff team there, probably a division winner.  Consistency is the problem with pears, in my experience. It’s hard to get them in that perfect ripe-but-not-mushy condition.  If Phil can figure out how to consistently deliver perfect pears, he’ll be set for life.

Kaline:  L, 5 – 8. (.263, .370, .526;  5.3 ip,  3 er). Mike Bolsinger returned to action for the Drive, and immediately reminded everyone about why he hadn’t been in action lately:  4.3 ip, 3 er., 7 hits, 2 walks, and a homer.  That’s like a dental exam requiring local anesthetic with lots of grinding: survivable, but there’s nothing else good to say about it.

Cottage: “L”, 5 – 3. (.286, .364, .643; 7 ip, 2 er). The Pears and the Cheese have been linked in the popular mind for years. They are the Snack Foods, the Culinary Delights, the Estimable Comestibles. And we’ve treated them accordingly. Like their fruity counterparts, the Cheese served up a tasty treat Wednesday — very nice hitting (led by Jay Bruce: 3 for 4 with 2 homers and a walk) AND pitching (Eovaldi: 6 ip, 1 er), at levels which, if sustained, would give them a place in the top tier of EFL teams. In my experience it’s hard to keep Cheese from going bad before you’re done with it.  One solution would be to eat a little more Cheese.  Another would be for the Cheese to sustain its value more reliably across a variety of contexts.

D.C.: L, 2 – 8. (.083, .120, .167;  0.7 ip, 0 er).  Now this is an honest result, or as they say in baseball, a “true outcome.”  The Balk sent 25 men to the plate. 8 struck out. 1 walked. 2 got hits, both of them doubles. The other 14 made honest batted-ball outs. Alex Wilson gave up a hit but also got a strike out and one  other straightforward out.  Somehow Rob wove 2 runs out of those two doubles, and graciously gave out 8 runs in the other 8.3 innings he had to cover with replacements.