Today’s Biggest Hero – The Official EFL Web Site

I wrote at length about Ryan Schimpf yesterday. You may not believe it, but I was making fun of him for going 0 for 39 this spring (counting spring training). I left you hanging as to whether he had struck out for the 25th time this spring to finish the game on Saturday.

He did. His batting line for the spring went to 0 for 40.

So, of course, the Angels started him at 3b Sunday. He walked. Then he walked. Then he…

…homered! For his first hit ALL SPRING.

Pickles. Now what am I going to write about?

When I realized Schimpf was in the game, I had to watch it. So I saw the blast — on the replay right after it happened. I also saw some guy throw 6 perfect innings, and leave the game after 7 with a one-hit, 12 strikeout, 1 walk game line. I gather this pitcher’s available in the end of April draft. He was terrible in spring training, so I doubt anyone’s interested in him. He only hit 100 mph once. He couldn’t do better than 99 mph in the 7th inning. Nothing to see here.

No, what you want to pay attention to is this: Schimpf is on our waiver wire. He’s batting .500 right now, with an OPS of 2.750. Brookland will get a shot, then DC, then Canberra, then Peshastin, etc. I can’t claim him since I put him there.

UPDATE: Schimpf struck out in his last AB, dropping his average to .333 and his OPS to 1.933. Still pretty exciting.

EFL Standings for 2018

EFL
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB	RS	RA
Canberra Kangaroos	5	3	.638	—	44.7	33.7
Old Detroit Wolverines	6	3	.617	0.1	35.0	27.6
Kaline Drive	6	4	.592	0.2	45.0	37.4
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	4	3	.573	0.6	32.2	27.8
Portland Rosebuds	5	4	.550	0.7	38.9	35.2
Brookland Outs	5	4	.544	0.7	44.4	40.7
D.C. Balk	4	4	.528	0.9	30.9	29.3
Flint Hill Tornadoes	4	5	.447	1.6	33.2	36.9
Haviland Dragons	4	6	.418	1.9	44.3	52.4
Cottage Cheese	3	6	.334	2.6	33.5	47.4
Peshastin Pears	3	6	.286	3	26.9	42.6

Canberra: “L”, 2 – 1. (.158, .273, .263; 8 ip, 1 er). Taijuan Walker didn’t get much news coverage because he’s not some overhyped Angel, and his name is spelled wrong (Taijuan, not Taillon). But he turned in a gem yesterday (6 ip, 1 er) to keep the Kangaroos atop the EFL… just barely.

Old Detroit: W, 7 – 3. (.238, .304, .333; 1 ip, 0 er). I want my life to be an inspiration to others. I think I’ve finally discovered how to fulfill that vision.I noticed Sunday evening that the entire Johnson family — or at least the three in the Oregon branch — had already used a bunch of their April roster moves. So I decided to look at the W’s stats, to see if I should be keeping up with the Johnsons.

I discovered the W’s were getting NONE of Rafael Devers’ stats. Poor Jeimer Candelario was trying to cover 3b all by himself, working 1/3 time, and was leaving us 13 PA short. Also, Devers is my best hitter. Well, no, how silly of me, he couldn’t possibly be my BEST hitter. Obviously that is always going to be Nick Ahmed, with his 1.213 OPS. But Devers was second at .942 going into Sunday’s games.

The mystery was: why the missing stats? I had Devers allocated at 100% at 3b. He was on my BP roster. I hadn’t misspelled anything. But then I found it: there was an extra space between “Rafael” and “Devers” on the master player spreadsheet I keep, which is what I upload to Dave to fill out the database. So our database wasn’t matching the BP records because of that one extra space. (Note: Dave is not so sure this was the problem. But he hasn’t got a better theory, so….) Our database, being nearsighted and suspicious, ignored Devers entirely.

You are probably already breathless with inspiration. But just in case, let me spell it out: ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS check your stats early in the month in case some incompetent typist in the Commissioner’s Office made a stupid little error, like an extra space in a name, or calling Michael “Mike”, or getting the wrong Chris Young or Matt Duffy into your roster.

I can attest from many years of personal observation: our Commissioner is an earnest guy, he always means well, but he’s hopelessly fallible. You just cannot trust him 100%. So don’t. Someday we’ll get a truly reliable Commissioner. But until then, ALWAYS check up on the one we have now, at least once every month.

Kaline: L, 2 – 5. (.256, .347, .349; 8 ip, 4 er). It’s amazing what a little public accountability can accomplish. The other day I pointed the spotlight at two sluggish Drives, Steve Pearce and Jorge Soler. Yesterday Pierce his a homer, and Soler went 3 for 4 with a double. Just to complete a trifecta, fellow former Wolverine Brandon Morrow pitched a perfect inning. But it wasn’t enough.

The reason for this is eerie. Or quantum. Back when the W’s were dumping salary to pursue free agent draft goals they eventually did not fulfill, the Drive offered the choice of Brian Johnson and Ryan Schimpf. The W’s chose Schimpf, who promptly went on a particularly ugly 0 for 40 skid. Brian Johnson’s career took off. Out of the blue he won a spot in the Red Sox rotation. All the possible good fortune in that pair of players was going to Johnson.

But yesterday, Schimpf homered and walked twice. And Johnson sextuple chulked. Clearly, these two are quantum entangled. There is one unit of good fortune available to them. They cannot share it. For weeks, Johnson has been cannibalizing Schimpf’s career. Now the tables are turned.

Pittsburgh: W (-1), L 1; (-3) – 2. (.156, .240, .244; 10.7 ip, 6 er). Kendall Graveman was the sacrificial lamb yesterday, consumed by the Angels (3.3 ip, 5 er) in support of Ohwhatsisname. In better news, Luke Weaver did a nice 6 ip, 1 er turn. Also, Michael “Mike” Brantley is back, and went 1 for 3 with a walk. In worse news, the rest of the team went 6 for 42.

Portland: W, 4 – 2. (.184, .295, .289; 4 ip, 0 er). This odd offensive suppression continues across the entire league. The Rosebuds had 4 good hitters yesterday — Betts, Jay, Rendon, and Villar (!) — so they managed 4 runs. But where were Correa, Goldschmidt, Ozuna and the just-promoted Aledmys Diaz? Going a combined 1 for 15 with no walks or extra bases. I don’t suppose this will last. Alas.

Brookland: W 1, L 1; 11 – 11. (.333, .415 .639; 6 ip, 2 er). Speaking off suppressed offense: it wasn’t evident in Brookland Sunday. Led by (who else?) Gregory Polanco, the Outs produced a better-than-average Edgar Martinez Day. This would have been plenty for one game. So perhaps it was foolhardy to play two? With only 6 ip, and 41 plate appearances?

DC: “L”, 1 – 1. (.143, .226, .179; 8 ip, 1 er). Mike Clevinger joined the ranks of the underappreciated Sunday, scattering 10 hits across 7.3 ip, 1 er baseball outside the glare of the lights on Taillon and that other guy.

Flint Hill: W, 3 – 1. (.182, .222, .273; 17.3 ip, 8 er). Charlie Morton (6 scoreless innings) scaffolded Tyson Ross (6 ip 4 er) for a nice pair of starts. Tanner Scott, newly activated, didn’t do quite as well (1.7 ip, 1 er). Meanwhile, also newly-promoted Yangervis Solarte had a perfect day: 2 for 2 with 2 walks. The Tornado wheels are spinning, and getting traction about half the time.

Haviland: W, 7 – 2. (.296, .367, .519; 7.3 ip, 2 er). Sean Newcomb was able to comb back fromb his first troublesomb start with an awesomb 6 ip, 0 er, 9 strikeout performance. Somb love fromb the media would have been appropriate, if they weren’t so overcomb with fulsomb focus on somb domb Angel. Oh, and Bryce Harper homered again. As did Adrian Gonzalez, for the first time this season, bringing his comeback campaign OPS for the season up just over the .800 mark.

Cottage: W 0, L, 2; 8 – 18. (.273, .360, .409; 5.7 ip, 5 er). Decent hitting, but only over 25 plate appearances so apparently not enough to move the needle over two games. The pitching was skimpy, too — but as it was a little worse than replacement, this may be a blessing.

Peshastin: W, 4 – (-3). (.269, .321, .615; 11 ip, 1 er). Jameson Taillon’s complete game, one hit shutout was the best pitching performance of the day, for the team with the scantiest pitching. This makes Taillon Sunday’s biggest hero.

Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2018

AL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Boston Red Sox	8	1	.889	—
Old Detroit Wolverines	6	3	.617	2.4
Toronto Blue Jays	6	4	.600	2.5
New York Yankees	5	5	.500	3.5
Flint Hill Tornadoes	4	5	.447	4
Baltimore Orioles	4	6	.400	4.5
Tampa Bay Rays	1	8	.111	7

NL East
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
New York Mets	7	1	.875	—
Atlanta Braves	6	3	.667	1.5
Canberra Kangaroos	5	3	.638	1.9
D.C. Balk	4	4	.528	2.8
Washington Nationals	4	5	.444	3.5
Philadelphia Phillies	3	5	.375	4
Miami Marlins	3	6	.333	4.5

AL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Pittsburgh Alleghenys	4	3	.573	—
Minnesota Twins	4	3	.571	—
Detroit Tigers	4	4	.500	0.5
Cleveland Indians	4	5	.444	1
Chicago White Sox	3	5	.375	1.5
Kansas City Royals	2	5	.286	2

NL Central
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Pittsburgh Pirates	7	2	.778	—
Chicago Cubs	5	4	.556	2
Brookland Outs	5	4	.544	2.1
Milwaukee Brewers	5	5	.500	2.5
St. Louis Cardinals	4	5	.444	3
Cottage Cheese	3	6	.334	4
Cincinnati Reds	2	5	.286	4

AL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Houston Astros	8	2	.800	—
Los Angeles Angels	7	3	.700	1
Kaline Drive	6	4	.592	2.1
Seattle Mariners	4	3	.571	2.5
Haviland Dragons	4	6	.418	3.8
Texas Rangers	4	7	.364	4.5
Oakland A’s	4	7	.364	4.5

NL West
TEAM	WINS	LOSSES	PCT.	GB
Arizona Diamondbacks	7	2	.778	—
Portland Rosebuds	5	4	.550	2.1
San Francisco Giants	4	4	.500	2.5
Colorado Rockies	5	5	.500	2.5
Los Angeles Dodgers	3	6	.333	4
Peshastin Pears	3	6	.286	4.4
San Diego Padres	2	8	.200	5.5

Old Detroit: