Are the Cheese Really the Head of the Table?

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Cottage:  W 2, L 1;  18 – 13.  (.280, .335, .476; 33 ip, 20 er).  The Cheese named their new team blog “The View from the Head of the Table.” It’s heartwarming to see  our Cottage Cheese being so confident, calling itself “fromage” and assuming it would be served from the head of the table like it was turkey at Thanksgiving or hot fudge at a birthday party.  But, hey, the Cottage Cheese are still at the head of the EFL table, barely, despite Alex Cobb’s nasty 5 ip, 9 er opening June performance.  Sonny Gray, Sean Manaea, and Grant Dayton combined for 16.3 scoreless innings to clean up most of the mess.  And Ian Happ made the Wolverines wish they’d bid another $250,000 by going .333, .385, .917 to lead the Cheesy offense.

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Haviland: W 3, L 1; 31 – 21. (.268, .371, .561; 32.3 ip, 20 er).  The Dragons matched the Cheese pitching almost inning by inning. Ervin Santana played the Cobb part (4 ip, 7 er). Newby Dragon Alex Avila played the Happ part (.400, .400, 1.200) albeit over only 5 AB instead of 15.  But still, the Dragons cut Cottage’s lead by 1/3.  We have a pennant race, at least for the moment.

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Pittsburgh: W 5, L 1:  55 – 23.  (.322, .421, .588; 38.3 ip, 20 er).  Did someone say “pennant race”?  Probably should have kept that a little quieter, because if there’s going to be a pennant race, the Alleghenys are going to want to be in it. Marco Estrada’s 3.7 ip, 7 er near-chulk notwithstanding, the Alleghenys got the pitching to make a move toward first.  And Jake Marisnick’s 0 for 6  notwithstanding (nor even Brandon Drury’s uncharacteristic 1 for 10), they got more than enough hitting, too.  Twin Tigers Nick Castellanos (.444, .643, .889) and JD Martinez (.385, .429, 1.154 — I didn’t say they were identical twins) OPSed over 1.500 to lead the way.

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Flint Hill: W 4, L 0; 15 – 7.  (.247, .293, .430;  30 ip, 5 er).  That’s only 99 plate appearances for the Tornados, not all that strong and not quite enough to avoid a few replacements. But who needs hitters when your pitchers are going to cover the four games fine with 30 innings, and only allow 5 earned runs? A team with that kind of 1.50 ERA pitching all season could run a squad of replacement players — ok, replacement players with above average gloves — and be in first place in the EFL. Which seems, somehow, to be the Tornados’ goal this year.  First place, I mean, not replacement hitters and 1.50 ERA pitchers. Oh, and who is the June leader in the Tornado offense? None other than the much maligned and twice-spurned-by-the-Wolverines Todd Frazier (.333, .385, .750).

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Kaline: W 3, L 1; 23 – 15. (.292, .353, .490;  38 ip, 16 er).  The Wolverines regret to inform you that the June offensive leader for the Drive is Danny Valencia (9 for 14, 1 double, 1 homer, 1 walk. .643, .625, .929).  We regret to inform you of this because it means poor Dan Vogelbach will spend even more of his fleeting life in Tacoma where he’s hitting a promising but not compelling .294, .404, .471. (I insert this Wolverine news into the Drive comments out of deference to the many Mariners fans in the league, chief amongst them the Drive’s own Wizard of Whidbey. Otherwise I would NEVER do such a thing.)

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Portland: W 3, L 2; 21 – 20. (.203, .299, .435;  46.7 ip, 24 er). Twin Diamondbacks Paul Goldschmidt (.357, .438, .643) and Chris Iannetta (.167, .375, .667 — I didn’t say they were identical twins, either) both turned in OPSes over 1.000 to help salvage a narrow winning record despite Amir Garrett’s perfect Triple Chulk (2.67 ip, 8 er). Jimmy Nelson’s 8 scoreless innings also helped. And Anthony Rendon’s 1.280 OPS, too.  Interesting fact:  Rosebud pitchers served up 7 homers in 46.7 ip, or one every 6.67 innings. Rosebud hitters clouted 9 homers in  exactly 38 innings hit (ih?), or one every 4.22 innings.  I think this would be a hopeful sign to Rosebud fans. You’re welcome.

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Peshastin: W 1,  L 4; 20 – 29. (.241, .293, .452; 30.7 ip, 16 er).  Every Pear pitcher who has appeared in June — all 8 of them — surrendered at least one earned run except Raisel Iglesias (3 ip).  This include Trevor Williams’ 7 ip, 1 er. And it includes Frankie Montas’ 1.3 ip, 5 er Triple Chulk.  Kevin Kiermaier has to do everything himself: lead the majors in outfield defense, and the Pears in offense (.364, .364,  .727).  But even with all Kevin’s work, the Pears still came away with the worst June W/L record. Not the worst winning percentage, that belongs to…

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Canberra: W 1, L 3; 13 – 31. (.217, .289, .349; 16.7 ip, 13 er). …The Kangaroos! Canberra had the worst start to June of any EFL team, going by runs scored and runs against. The Canberra offense misses Mark Reynolds already — well, except Reynolds went 2 for 15 for the Tornadoes, which even with a homer and a double leads to a measly .533 OPS. So don’t blame Mark! Blame… let’s see… we could blame Koda Glover’s Royal Chulk (o.3 ip, 5 er)… or we could blame Canberra management for not getting their allocations in on time, forcing the Commissioner to stick Adam Rosales part time at first base  (3 ab, 2 h, 1 caught stealing, so in effect only 1 hit) just so he could run the update program…

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Old Detroit:  W 3, L 1; 32 – 13. (.285, .348, .577; 35 ip, 12 er).  … but not to worry, because Dad’s got your back with the EFL’s BEST June RS/RA ratio — almost exactly the inverse of the ‘Roos’ ratio, just slightly off in some direction.  The Wolverines accomplished this despite Gregory Polanco matching Kyle Schwarber’s .111 batting average.  On the other hand, Schwarber parlayed that miserable cricket wicket into a .333 OBP and a .444 SLG by taking three walks and making his only hit a grand slam home run. Oh, and who is the June leader in Wolverine offense? None other than the much maligned and twice-dissed-by-the-Tornadoes Manny Machado (.400, .438, .933 — hey, isn’t that line better than Frazier’s?).

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DC: W 2, L 2; 14 – 20.  (.286, .357, .484; 35 ip, 15 er).  Kole Calhoun is burning it up in June: 7 for 13 with 3 homers and 3 walks. New Balk Addison Russell, traded with Dylan Bundy for Corey Seager, hasn’t yet stepped up to the challenge.  Russell is only 1 for 7 in June so far, with a single walk.

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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017