We’re going down!

EFL Standings for 2017

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Haviland: W, 10 – 6. (.303, .425, .636;  1.4 ip, 0 er).Gary Sanchez’ two homers didn’t produce an earthshaking win, but when practically everyone else is losing any kind of wincan give you more than a game boost in the EFL standings.

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Cottage: L, 2 – 8. (.250, .300, .286; 0 pitching).  What a picture of demoralization. Trout is gone. His amazingly Trout-like sub, Eric Young, is on the Dragons.  You know what it reminds me of? The movie Heaven Can Wait where the superstar athlete “dies” but continues to perform his marvelous athletic feats by possessing the body of a different man. Except in this even Cheesier version we’re seeing, the possessed athlete is playing for the rival team.

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Pittsburgh:  “W”, 9 – 10. (.368, .429, .605; 14.3 ip, 11 er).  This could have been SUCH a big day for the Alleghenys, except David Price stank (5 ip, 6 er) and four other pitchers were not that much better.

Flint Hill: L, 4 – 6. (.231, .310, .346; 1 ip, 0 er). Weak hitting hurt, and only one pitcher showing up didn’t help. That one pitcher, by the way, was Keynan (Kate) Middleton.

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Kaline: L, 6 – 11. (.283, .328, .528; 6.7 ip, 9 er).  Michael Fulmer stumbled (4.3 ip, 5 er) and Kelvin Herrera collapsed into a Royal Chulk (0.3 ip,  4 er). The offense performed well,  led by newbie infielder Eric Sogard (3 for 5 with a homer and a walk), but the pitching mess was too big to overcome.

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Portland: W, 10 – 4. (.345, .457, .724; 6 ip, 2 er).  The Rosebuds were the only team to stand up to the Dragons on their first day back in office. Rosebud catcher Chris Iannetta led the only spark of anti-Dragon resistance with a homer and two doubles in 5 at bats.

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Peshastin: “W”, 5 – 6. (.333, .375, .400;  2 ip, 0 er).  Trea Turner went 3 for 4 with a walk to lead a solid Pear offense, but there just wasn’t enough pitching to nail down a win.

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Canberra: L, 1 – 7. (.115, .207, 154; 1.3 ip, 0 er). Here’s the only team that did at least as poorly yesterday as the Cheese.  The ‘Roos have slipped under the .500 mark, a traumatic passage (as I remember it — it’s been months since I did such a thing).

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Old Detroit: L, 5 – 7. (.310, .333, .448;  5.7 ip, 4 er).  It was a decent day at the plate by Wolverine standards, but Clayton “Mirage” Richards (5 ip, 4 er) proved to be dry and lifeless on the mound.

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DC: L, 3 – 7.  (.250, .344, .250; no pitching).  Scooter Gennett has, for some reason, stopped hitting homers.  He’s not hitting 4 per day anymore. He’s not hitting 3 a day. Nor two.  Not even one.  He did get two hits, but Scooter, the team was counting on you now that you’re an all-time immortal slugger.

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Combined MLB + EFL Standings for 2017